The deeply pathetic intimation of violence 19

Last night I was bemused to see some referrals to my cranky blog from a post on John C. Wright’s that I hadn’t linked to. Curious, I took a looksee, and lo and behold, I got name checked in the comments. Which is fair enough. (Gentlemen, I’m terribly sorry your delicate constitutions can’t handle some salty ...

Drawing the line 3

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, these last couple of days. Well, as much thinking as possible considering I’ve been getting about five hours of sleep a night and work is slowly consuming my brain, my soul, and probably my major viscera. (But hey, workshop day is tomorrow! Then I get to relax have ...

The hardest part of discipline 1

So last week, I let a doctor jam a needle into the proximal joint of my big toe. Then pump cortisone into it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt pain like that. The only reason I didn’t haul off and punch him in the arm was because he was holding a needle. Stuck ...

The Year of No Sleep 2

I open my eyes and I’m not in bed. I’ve got a dark road in front of me, fields on either side, red, white and blue lights throwing shadows across the tarmac as they flash. My hands jerk on the steering wheel. My mouth tastes like death and regular Coke. “Shit. Shane? Shane? Where are ...

It’s okay to… 5

(An non-exhaustive list of things I wish I had figured out twenty years ago.) It’s okay to: say I don’t know. say I was wrong. dance even if you suck at it. Especially if you suck at it. be gay. be alone. be unpopular, because you will always have at least one true friend cheering for you ...

Career Choices: Why I’m Not an EMT Any More 9

I don’t think so many people know this any more, but I used to be an EMT. Years ago, I volunteered for an all-911 service while I was working full-time at another job. I formed some bizarre and possibly valuable habits during that time. It’s the reason why my initial reaction to any kind of ...

Still Not Going to See Ender’s Game: Separating the Art From the Artist 3

Orson Scott Card would like us to be tolerant of his anti-gay marriage views, now that we’ve won. The point is, apparently “moot.” I call bullshit on that one.  DOMA may be dead, and the language of that decision may be what will make the rest of the dominoes fall, so to speak. But the ...

I will never be beautiful 9

I will never be beautiful
I will never be beautiful. I’m not saying this because I want or need reassurance. It’s the knee jerk reaction, and I understand that, when someone sounds like they’re feeling down about themselves. But I’m not feeling down about myself, and I don’t think reassurance really works, for all its good intentions. I’ve spent my ...

Suicide is cheaper 4

A lot of you may not know this, but I used to be an EMT-B. I volunteered on a 911 ambulance service, and spent most of my time running out of fire stations in Commerce City. Commerce City (aka Combat Shitty) is an industrial area of Denver where there are a lot of poor and ...

Stop calling me a "real woman"

Because you know what that implies? Are there really femmebots out there, complete with boob guns that make up the category of “not real” women? Are there girls made out of plastic? Is there a test you have to take, or are there government regulations sort of like they have for beef that mean we ...