Lightspeed and UNICEF UK 3

Lightspeed and UNICEF UK
Just in case you hadn’t heard yet: I HAVE A STORY IN LIGHTSPEED AW YEAH HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW I’m in a TOC with NK Jemisin. I’m in a TOC with NK Jemisin. MY HEART CANNOT HANDLE THIS. Anyway. Whew. Deep breaths. Yes. The Tell Me There Will Be No Pain is in December’s issue ...

Strange Horizons needs our help!

Strange Horizons is doing their annual fund drive. They have less than five days left, and need at least another $3000 to keep providing wonderful fiction, poetry, and reviews. Plus you get prizes! Awesome, right? I admit I’m biased, since they’ve bought two of my stories. Which because Strange Horizons is awesome, are available to be ...

[Movie] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: could have been worse 4

[Movie] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: could have been worse
Well, you did it, so I did it, so here we are. Charity gets $300 and you get to make me suffer for a little over an hour and a half. There was unfortunately no drinking accomplished during this movie, but that was because I had two tablets of vicodin on board to help defeat ...

Want to make me watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? 10

You know, the new one, produced by my favorite ever, Michael Bay. Because there is still a part of my childhood that has not been violated. In which all of the turtles look like Shrek. (Why should you want me to watch horrible movies? Well, for one, money goes to charity. For two, you’re sadistic ...

Two storifies, two podcasts for Wednesday 3

Two storifies, two podcasts for Wednesday
I know, there has not been bloggening in forever. July has been and will continue to be totally crazypants as far as scheduling goes. But here, I have some stuff for you! Storifies: During my one long break at DetCon1, I went to the Detroit Institute of the Arts. I only had a bit over three ...

[Movie] Transformers 4: Fuck This Movie 12

I’ve been trying all day to come up with a funny way to write about how transcendently angry this movie made me. Something hopefully a bit more highbrow than the entire concept of “rage pee.” And then I realized I can’t do it, and it was going to stop me from meeting my obligation to you lovely ...

Transformers 4: I am drunk and I must rage pee 5

So this is kind of a giant excuse and an explanation. You see my first pee break in this movie, which is approximately 17 hours long and composed of jackahammers and CGI, I had to pee. And realized there was still an hour and fifteen fucking minutes fucking left in the fucking movie. Came back to ...

Give money to charity, make Rachael suffer through Transformers 4! 3

All right. You bastards tried to take me down four months ago, and I came up swinging. But I sense a new challenger on the horizon. Something far stronger than the combined might of iffy geology and Kiefer Sutherland in a toga twirling his non-existent mustache. Something that involves a lot of T&A and even ...

Pompeii: Deadly Weaksauce Eruption Destroys City 2

Well, I did it, you bastards. I saw Pompeii. Sorry that it took me 24 hours to get my write-up done, things were kind of busy today. So this is the thing. I went into this movie expecting to be incredibly annoyed by the geology. But actually, the geology wasn’t that bad. There were volcanic bombs ...

Give money to charity, make Rachael suffer. 5

Give money to charity, make Rachael suffer.
So, I keep seeing trailers for this: And it makes me:   So here is your golden opportunity to do good in the world AND make Rachael suffer horribly. PROGRESS TOWARD EARLIER ULTIMATE SUFFERING: $120/200 PROGRESS TOWARD ULTIMATE SUFFERING: $100/100 STAGE COMPLETE I’M SEEING THE STINKIN’ MOVIE IF you all collectively donate at least $100 across ...