Hey Thor 2: Star Wars Called, It Wants Its Poster Back 4

I had about three seconds of excitement yesterday when Marvel dropped the new Thor: The Dark World poster on Twitter. I’m so excited about that movie, I can barely stand it. And I really loved most of the posters there were for the original Thor. So… yay! And here it was!
thor poster
Well. That’s sure a thing. I don’t like the composition (she says as if she has more artistic ability than the average potato).It’s really… busy. Unlike the posters for the first movie. But more than that… wow. It feels really familiar. Reeeeeeeally familiar.
iron man poster…wow. Yeah. But no, that wasn’t what I was thinking about. We have to go back further. Much further. Like maybe…
star-wars-return-of-the-jedi_movie-poster-01A bit like this, perhaps. Except while they put Leia in the stupid-ass bikini, at least she’s not clinging to anyone. But of course, Star Wars really owes its artistic allegiance to far pulpier roots…
UFO_MovieArt_01
Just as an example. That’s art from a release called UFO from the 70s. Though then we need to add a little side of this just for full replication:
eileen-dreter-barely-a-lady-cover-art-by-jon-paul-ferraraAnd there you go.

Why the hell are we still doing pulp movie clingy woman and manly men posters in the year 2013? There is just so much about the poster that I really, really don’t like. About both the TDW and IM3 posters, really. I’m not a big fan of women with their necks broken, to start with. But the position is so classic clingy damsel in distress oh let me lay my hands on your manly manly chest so you can save me. I loathe it. Particularly because in IM3, Pepper was pretty fucking awesome. She saved Tony’s ass twice. She was not the damsel in distress.

That gives me hope that maybe the TDW poster is a big troll just like the IM3 poster kind of was. (Or maybe we’ll get an awesome joke poster for Captain America 2, like this idea.) But it just upsets me on a basic level to see another awesome female character turned into the visual clingy appendage of the guy. I actually like Jane as a character. She kind of fell by the wayside when I first watched Thor because I was too busy losing my shit over the complexities of Loki. But in subsequent viewings, I’ve come to really like Jane.

In a super hero movie, it’s nice to have some normal human characters around who aren’t just living furniture. That they’re regular people means yes, they occasionally need their bacon saved by the super hero, because that’s what super heroes do. But both Pepper and Jane are eminently competent women, and they solve some great plot problems by being excellent at what they do. While I didn’t really buy the Thor/Jane romance in Thor, I loved that Jane was the one who decided to kiss him. I loved that she was impulsive and smart and very much had a life and a being outside of the whole romance angle.

The one thing that I’m still mad at Thor for was what I felt was the lazy writing. We need some redemption–quick, have him instantly fall in love with someone and that will make him a better person because boobies are magic! It was cheap, formulaic, and trite. I’ll still be seeing the new movie who knows how many fucking times because Loki. And Sif. And Loki. And Frigga in armor. And Loki. But I’d love to not give myself a headache from rolling my eyes through the rest of the movie. At this point I’m already assuming that Jane will get kidnapped by Malekith and Thor has to almost die again to save her life because obviously Malekith blowing shit up across the Nine Realms isn’t sufficient motivation for the man to be self-sacrificing. Barf. (I’d love to be wrong, by the way.)

I’m sick of shit like that. I’m so sick of it. It’s ultimately disrespectful (if that’s the right word) of two really awesome characters. It reduces Jane to just being an object to motivate Thor, and it reduces Thor to someone who can only stir himself to do great and noble things and grow as a person if his dick warmer is in danger.

Really. Do better.

4 thoughts on “Hey Thor 2: Star Wars Called, It Wants Its Poster Back

  1. Reply Schnauzermom Aug 2,2013 11:43

    Correct me if I’m wrong here, but that Iron Man poster — isn’t Gwyneth Paltrow at least as tall as Robert Downey Jr in real life? If not a smidge taller? But in the poster he has to tower over her because….

    • Reply Rachael Aug 2,2013 11:46

      She us almost comically taller than him. It was super cute when they were out promoting the movie together. But you know. Ladies can’t be taller than their manly men. Because reasons.

  2. Reply Nova Aug 2,2013 13:14

    The biggest difference I see between the IM3 and Thor 2 pictures (in the pose of the woman, I mean), is while it’s still annoyingly clingy…Pepper seems to be telling Tony to chill, hold on, don’t act so rashly. Jane is just. Clinging. The pose is very similar and seen everywhere, which is very frustrating. I mean, come on, can’t you…idk, think of a different image composition? Excuse me while I sigh. I’m not making excuses, just pointing out a difference in the two women’s poses. It’s still a sad trope.

  3. Reply Emily Aug 8,2013 18:37

    except that jane is that annoying, clingy and, generally, useless.

    or just that i detest what’s-her-face, and have intense schadenfreude whenever she’s made to look stupid.

    maybe she’ll die. i hope she dies. i hope loki snaps her neck. that would be cool. i think i might actually stand up and shout if that happens.

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