Well, I think it will be liveblog-ish. I’m actually kind of excited about this episode. We’ll see if I’m disappointed. (Though I already know Sleepy Hollow will never disappoint me like The Following did, because there is always sassiness in it.)
Aaaaand here we go!
Thank you Ichabod voiceover for reminding us what happened last time.
2001: Running through the woods, you’re running through the woods, chased by Blucifer’s family.
2002: Ah, it’s a nightmare. You know, if my dreams foreshadowed plot like seems to happen in TV, I’d have gone to work naked and chased my cats endlessly through the Kroger while being peppered with thrown shoes.
2003: Ichabod’s dead wife is now explaining the whole plot again. You can tell she’s a witch because she’s wearing a sexy black dress. And what do you mean one of you? Didn’t she try to make the point she wasn’t an evil witch?
2004: Hello no shirt and… slightly floppy poopy drawers.
2005: Seriously, they’re claiming that John Cho ran into the mirror so hard he turned into a pez dispenser? DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW ANATOMY WORKS?
2005: The recap continues as we point out what a fish out of water Ichabod is, but that’s okay because he’s being adorable and unable to figure out how showers and lights work. I do love the sticky notes everywhere.
2006: Abbie has been sternly warned to not embarrass the Captain while he’s gone. I smell the inevitable embarrassment coming.
2008: Ichabod likes him some donut holes. Abbie, this is really not the time to go dissing the man’s dead wife.
2009: Ichabod’s main functions, I think, are to look adorably confused and say dark and portentous things while staring moodily at the camera.
2009: Welcome back, Pez Dispenser Cho. He has wrinkly old lady neck now. The vague grodiness of this is weirding my housemate out. It’s lovely.
2010: I like the title sequence, but could we have a color other than gray please?
2013: Someone needs to explain inflation to Ichabod. And I look forward to the foreshadowed story of why his dead wife didn’t like him. And I love his outrage at a 10% tax. I can tell the writers are having some fun with that.
2015: Apparently the healthcare plan you get with being a demonic minion doesn’t come with a plastic surgery option. Poor evil John Cho.
2016: In which Ichabod figures out the thing the audience knew immediately.
2016: What I want to know is how the demon can raise John Cho from the dead and make him barf up a necklace, but can’t manage to put a necklace on a post and deliver his own damn cryptic message.
2018: Geeze, now random people are making evil John Cho feel self conscious about his old lady neck.. Rude. (Though he does look nicely gross and dead, doesn’t he. Apparently so gross and dead that he killed the starter in this guy’s car.)
2019: Well known fact: witches summon their own theme music with their auras. (Hm, I can already smell a music collection for this series…)
2021: More review and backstory, this time about the sheriff. Oh wow, Abbie had a shady past. That’s kind of neat, how she got to be friends with her old partner.
2023: Ichabod apparently knows way more about this supernatural shit than he let on before…
2027: THERE’S BODIES EVERYWHERE CHOPPER GO CHOPPER GO oh wait, wrong thing.
2028: Serilda? Cerelda? She has a name that is impossible to spell, she must be a witch. And an evil witch.
2029: Well, hello man in tight black shirt who is randomly hostile. Hi Luke, have you pissed on the door frame yet? Geeze what a portrait of wounded and back patting masculinity. (Oh, he’s the ex. Oh. Blahblahblah.)
2031: Oh wow, they keep nice toys in their fire cabinets. None of this plain old fire axe bullshit.
2032: It’s a tunnel, Abbie. Isn’t that kind of obvious?
2037: A cache of gunpowder. I’m sure this will not be significant later in this episode or a future episode. Just in case something needs to be blown up. As you do.
2038: Evil John Cho, you are the creepiest police officer ever.
2039: “It’s getting dark.” *puts on sunglasses*
2039: Ah, today Ichabod got eidetic memory from the Power Of The Month Club.
2040: Oh dear… they made her an evil witch and Romany. Er.
2041: OH SHIT THE NOISE WAS JUST THE CAT RUN KID FUCKING RUUUUUUUN
2047: The kid is saved by adoption. COP OUT.
2047: Oh god Abbie never do that again.
2048: Poor evil John Cho. You just can’t catch a break. And all he wants is some thanks from the evil undead witch but nooooooo.
2048: “We’ll cover more ground if we separate.” Okay Ichabod has an excuse, he’s never seen a horror movie. BUT COME ON ABBIE.
2049: Evil John Cho can just stop his bitching now. He might have old lady neck, but he can apparently disappear at will. FAIR TRADE.
2053: And we have returned to the gunpowder cache. That was quick.
2054: HOW ARE THEY NOT COVERED WITH BITS OF WITCH?
2055: Aww, Ghost Sheriff. NO ONE STAYS DEAD IN THIS GODDAMN TOWN.
2057: Well, at least he’s sassy. He’s incredibly unhelpful, though. Number 49, really? COME ON.
2058: Ah, her sister is in room 49.
2059: She’s doing chin ups. That’s how you can tell she’s a tough girl. Getting a definite Sarah Conner vibe from her, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.
And that’s it for this week. I’m looking forward to next week. If that’s the demon guy, they’ve made him look nicely creepy.