Well, it happened. With just over five days to spare, you motherfuckers did it. I’m going to have to watch 50 Shades of Shitty Writing, and then tell you all about it. 12 people from three different countries, united in their hatred of both me and domestic abuse, have donated a combined $753.39 to anti-domestic violence charities.
So fine. You did your part. I’ll do mine. I will see this abortion of a movie by February 21st. Probably on the 21st, because I seriously do not want to get as fucking wasted as I’ll need to be in order to survive on a work night. That’s just a recipe for disaster.
Of course, you realize that your job isn’t done yet. Talk to your friends. Talk to your enemies. Talk to your local chapter of the Illuminati. Let’s see another $250 on the table to help the victims of domestic violence. Because I’m going to take notes in this movie. I always take notes. And they will be handwritten, drunken, angry, bewildered, and no doubt increasingly poorly spelled as my blood alcohol level steadily climbs. Kind of like my Transformers 4 notes. But. You know. The knob of agony goes to 11.
$250 more. You can do it. Hey, and if you get even more than that I’ll… shit, I don’t know. Wear a suit or something.