This post has been made for my own later use. Others are welcome to use it as well.
The numbers on the list are for reference rather than ordinal purposes.
To whom it may concern:
Thank you for your interest in my blog post/comment/tweet/facebook post/[insert social media of choice here]. I appreciate that you have taken time out of your day to share your opinion with me. However, I will not be addressing said opinion further or at all in any substantive way (beyond the link I have just shared with you) for one or more of the following reasons:
- Something you have said indicates to me that you are not interested in arguing in good faith. That is to say, I have reason to believe you are not interested in an actual discussion in which both sides listen to each other, modify their positions, and come to some form of agreement.
- You have moved the goal posts at least once.
- Something you have said indicates to me that you lack the necessary factual grounding in order to have this argument, and I am completely uninterested in doing the background research for you.
- If you are interested in paying me to do the research for you, for example by way of writing an annotated bibliography that you can peruse at your convenience, we can discuss my hourly rates.
- You have thus far done such a good job at arguing with straw man conceptions of my words that I’ve come to realize my input is entirely superfluous. Please feel free to continue this argument without me.
- See also: the argument you are attempting to have has only the most passing resemblance to the argument in which I’ve been participating.
- You have said something so gob-smackingly insulting or downright evil that I don’t want to be on the same planet as you, let alone in some kind of intellectual interchange.
- Mommy taught me not to feed the trolls.
- I don’t see the point in responding to complete non-sequiturs.
- You said something about the First Amendment that indicates you have no actual understanding of the First Amendment; refer back to point number 3.
- This argument is two people shouting “Nuh UH!” “Uh HUH!” into the internet for eternity in all but the most literal sense.
- I’m annoyed enough that I have completely lost my ability to be either kind or only gently sarcastic.
- I have homework to do/I have work to do/I have cats to pet/I have a Fist of Havoc better utilized elsewhere/my pedicure could use some maintenance.
- Responding substantively to this argument would give it more intellectual cachet than it deserves.
- You immediately misgendered me and I can’t be arsed to deal with you right now.
- I’m too mentally or physically tired to want to mount an expedition down this rabbit hole.
- I just finished having this exact same argument with someone else and don’t feel like repeating myself, kindly refer to my comments/mentions.
- You appear to be attempting your own version of the Gish Gallop, and I have better things to do with my time.
- My humanity, my identity, or that of my siblings in struggle is not up for debate. You are simply wrong. The end.
- I have a deadline and my agent has a rubber hose.
Please do not take my lack of interest in responding as a sign that you have “won” in any sense but that of water “winning” over a piece of rock by wearing it smooth. My silence is neither agreement nor assent, but rather lack of interest in anything further you might have to say coupled with disinclination to waste energy or breath better spent elsewhere.
I wish you luck in your future endeavors. Have a nice day.