So I do a thing where, if people donate enough money to a set of charities, I watch a fucking horrible movie that I would not otherwise watch, and then blog about it. Often, because I’m watching the movie at the Alamo Drafthouse, I end up getting pretty tanked in the process.
Currently Fundraising: None
How does this work?
Want to make me watch whatever horror is currently fundraising? Donate some money to one of the listed charities, then tell me about it. Blog comment, tweet, facebook poke, smoke signal, e-mail, however you like. This is on the honor system. I’ll believe you. Just make sure you get an acknowledgment from me. I’ll add your name to the list of
awesome people who donate to charity bastards who want to make me suffer, unless you prefer to remain anonymous.
Why should I donate? You’ll just watch this crap anyway.
If you think there is any way short of being held at gun-point by an unhinged fanboy tweaking on meth that I would have seen Transformers 4 or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, son, you got another thing coming. If a movie doesn’t meet its fundraising price, I will not see it. Period. Ever. And I won’t even feel the slightest bit bad because hey, the money still went to charity!
So how can I make you watch a particular horrible movie?
The process is pretty simple. Is there something you want to make me see? Contact me, and I’ll set a price on watching it (normally $300-$500 depending on how horrible it looks). Then if people donate that amount by the time the movie comes out, I will go see it within a week of it being released and blog about it. If you want this to work, spread the word. I’ll tweet about it it and post it on facebook, but do you think I’m going to try really hard to make myself suffer through over 120 minutes of cinematic effluvia? Hell no.
What if I want to make you watch a turd that’s not out in theaters? (Like an older, super bad movie?)
If it’s on Netflix, Hulu, or On Demand, I can swing that. If it’s something I can literally only watch by purchasing a DVD, you’re going to have to send me a copy. Also if it’s a movie that’s already out, we’ll have to agree on a deadline for fundraising, and when I’ll have to actually sit down and suffer through the thing. So I know when to buy more beer.
What charities do you normally list for donation?
If there is a particular charity you like (or think is hilariously appropriate for a movie) I’ll be happy to add it to the list. But normally, I count donations made to:
Archive of Suffering
Total money raised for charities since 2012: $2362.94
- Gods of Egypt: Should’ve got the lettuce wrap
- By the Bulging Right Eye of Christian Grey!
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Could Have Been Worse
- Transformers 4: I am drunk and I must rage pee | Fuck This Movie (includes handwritten notes)
- Pompeii: Deadly Weaksauce Eruption Destroys City
- Liveblog of 180