OH MY GOD GUYS I’M GONNA JOIN THE ILLUMINATI 1

from: candis.alston@xxxxxx bcc: katsuhiro@gmail.com date: Sun, Apr 13, 2014 at 1:37 PM subject: INVITATION TO THE GREAT ILLUMINATI Your email was selected among the ten lucky people giving the opportunity of becoming rich and popular by joining the great Illuminati network for more details please contact email ([redacted]) for more details. Er. Wait. No. I’m ...

[Movie] The Grand Budapest Hotel

As Wes Anderson a movie as was ever Wes Andersoned by Wes Anderson, to be sure. The Grand Budapest Hotel is basically everything I could have wanted it to be and then some. The entire movie feels very carefully unreal, in a way that reminds me of cartoons that are made entirely of cut paper ...

In which I talk to myself about why I like Thor best, don’t mind me

Look, I’m just going to talk to myself about superhero movies for a minute, so don’t you mind one bit. Move along, nothing to see here. I mean the Thor franchise collectively, since I’d be a massive liar if I claimed I liked Thor the character better than his utterly cracked little brother. But I’ve ...

I wrote a story! The Heart-Beat Escapement (and a little bonus) 2

I have a new story out today from Crossed Genres: The Heart-Beat Escapement Please read and enjoy! This story is one that went through a lot of drafts–nine in total. It started out about 1500 words longer than it is now. Something about the way Greensmith says but grates. “I already know that,” Owen snaps. ...

Anonymous reviewing on Amazon and the HWA letter 5

HWA wrote an open letter to Jeff Bezos requesting to change the way Amazon reviews work. (ETA: Whoops, URL for that link was borked, it’s now fixed, sorry about that!) In our view, beyond profanity and spitefulness, an inappropriate review would be one that: indicates the customer has not read the book, but only a ...

Three Non-Exhaustive Lists 1

Things that are none of your business (a non-exhaustive list): My decision to not change my last name The last time I shaved my legs The conversations I have with my gynecologist If and when I’m going to have kids If I’m on birth control and why Things that are none of my business (a ...

[Movie] 300: Rise of an Empire 3

[Movie] 300: Rise of an Empire
300, why can’t I just quit you? I can’t help it. It’s full of men with rippling six packs wearing nothing but tiny leather underpants1 and leather skirts with strategic crotch windows of the sort you normally see women wearing in fantasy art. I’M ONLY HUMAN OKAY2. (light spoilers throughout) It actually amuses me more ...

Do the Thing 2

So, I loved this movie titled Addams Family Values when it came out oh sweet baby Jesus over twenty fucking years ago YOU’RE KILLING ME a while ago, but weirdly the scene that’s stuck with me the most is just this short bit of dialog where Uncle Fester (played by Christopher Lloyd and his terrifying I have ...

The hardest part of discipline 1

So last week, I let a doctor jam a needle into the proximal joint of my big toe. Then pump cortisone into it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt pain like that. The only reason I didn’t haul off and punch him in the arm was because he was holding a needle. Stuck ...

[Movie] Non-Stop 3

Maybe this is just a combination of nostalgia and confirmation bias talking,but I could have sworn that back in the misty past, Liam Neeson didn’t spend most of his time on screen killing people. I feel like one day, he gained just a couple more gray hairs and little crows feet and that set off some ...