[Movie] Transformers 4: Fuck This Movie 12

I’ve been trying all day to come up with a funny way to write about how transcendently angry this movie made me. Something hopefully a bit more highbrow than the entire concept of “rage pee.” And then I realized I can’t do it, and it was going to stop me from meeting my obligation to you lovely ...

Transformers 4: I am drunk and I must rage pee 5

So this is kind of a giant excuse and an explanation. You see my first pee break in this movie, which is approximately 17 hours long and composed of jackahammers and CGI, I had to pee. And realized there was still an hour and fifteen fucking minutes fucking left in the fucking movie. Came back to ...

Give money to charity, make Rachael suffer through Transformers 4! 3

All right. You bastards tried to take me down four months ago, and I came up swinging. But I sense a new challenger on the horizon. Something far stronger than the combined might of iffy geology and Kiefer Sutherland in a toga twirling his non-existent mustache. Something that involves a lot of T&A and even ...