Woo at CU: The Everything Has a Price Edition

No fun name for this post, since it’s short and sweet. Stuart has the dirt over at his blog.

A friend of ours let us know that there’s an article about the magical “because ions makes it sound sciency!” wrist bands at the Sports Business Journal. Unfortunately, the article is hidden behinda paywall. But here’s the salient point, thanks to the magic of google caching:

The seven-figure deals were each negotiated through the two leading multimedia rights agencies in the college space, IMG College and Learfield Sports, which will give Power Force marketing and media rights at most of the nation’s top colleges.

Now, I’m going to guess that the seven-figure thing is probably a couple of deals to encompass all of the schools, rather than per school. But still, it’s a significant wad of cash involved, and that’s probably why we’re being told not to worry our pretty little heads about how it looks for a major research university to be promoting magical silicone bracelets that sell for something like $30. I guess infusing the material with all those “ions” is what cranks up the price.

Also?

On each of the campuses where Power Force made a deal, it will be recognized as the official supplier or preferred supplier of ion-infused products.

You know, I never realized how much it actually hurts to try to laugh and sob at the same time. Until now. Official supplier of ion-infused products indeed! What next, an official university supplier of magical fairy dust? An official university supplier of wishful thinking? Or maybe just an official supplier of unicorns that fart rainbows?

I would totally buy one of those, by the way. My car’s about to crap out, and I hear those babies get amazing fuel mileage and don’t pollute at all.