Well, this was sure a surreal way to top off my time at Worldcon.
I don’t see a point in being coy about the fact that I still write a bit of fanfiction now and then for fun, and lately it’s been Thor/The Avengers fanfic with Loki as the main character because hey, he’s my favorite, and he’s fun to write. I wrote this novella-length thing called The Calculator last year and included a sort of cute side “character” that was the Waffle Iron1.
Last night a very nice person who read that fanfic in an archive and left some comments and informed me that apparently the Waffle Iron has become A Thing, which even has its own tumblr. And has spawned other fanfics (I think that’s really cool) and porn2. The latter I find a bit disturbing, but I guess I’m not surprised. Rule 34 and all that. And waffles have now made a guest appearance in the Loki and the Loon comic, which as far as I can tell has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the terrifying internet porn.
I had no idea about any of this. Most probably because I don’t have a tumblr3. I knew people thought the little Waffle Iron in The Calculator was cute, but no one even mentioned to me that fanfics spawned from it. I didn’t even realize that people had actually, you know, read the story to that extent.
I’m not upset or anything. I’m just deeply puzzled4. I really wish I’d known this was going on because it’s kind of cool and perhaps not something best left to drop on my head sometime after midnight and my third beer5.
Short version: …bzuh?
1 – A sort of weird shout-out to The Brave Little Toaster, actually.
2 – No, I am not linking to this because like I needed any more proof that we live in a godless universe of pain. If you want to know that badly I’m sure you can find it so long as you don’t mind things like “loki waffle iron porn” showing up in your Google search history.
3 – I’m not on tumblr because I would rather use the time to write. Twitter sucks away enough of my life. No, I’m not getting an account. Fuck off.
4 – Well, and a little weirded out by the porn thing. I’ve never really bought into the idea of people climbing mountains just because they’re there, and I feel similarly ambivalent toward people writing porn that seems to have no purpose other than to make others snort Borax just because they can. Then again, I did just link to that website of the Roy Orbison in cling-film stories so maybe I should shut up but goddamnit those are funny and involve no actual weird sex.
5 – I also kind of want to say hi to the non-porn bits of things, but since I have no tumblr that seems a tad impossible. It does seem cool in some kind of bizarre, WTF-internet kind of way.