Following Kevin Bacon on a Bender

There is something intensely awkward about, “previously on The Following…”  Maybe they should rethink that one.

So this week another little serial killer got his murder on, going after people for revenge because they made Professor Poe-Obsessed Serial Killer’s life rough. It made revenge seem very shallow and petty which, to be fair, it mostly is. Only the whole revenge aim lacked the motivating rage that makes the story of vengeance at all interesting, and so pretty much just turned into, Gosh if I kill enough people maybe daddy will love me best. The twist at the end might have been more surprising if there hadn’t been a “oh and this person is a serial killer too!” twist at the end of every episode thus far. I’m waiting for Kevin Bacon’s mom to call him up and tell him, “Honey, I just ate a sorority girl’s face.”

Anyway, is it bad that serial killer chick Emma is getting to be my favorite character in the series? I’m highly amused by the way she apparently approaches serial killing as art – “We’re supposed to find out own voice.” Murder, now a thousand times more pretentious. I’m also thinking that by now, everyone around her should know not to even look at her funny when she has a knife. She gets slashy.

Well, and in every sense of the word. In one of the more meaningful flashbacks (and there were a lot of flashbacks, many of which really didn’t seem to have much of a point) we see Emma cheering her two fellow serial killers to kiss because they have to pretend to be a gay couple. It gave me flashbacks to my first Yaoi Con. I mean, for the trying to get boys to kiss. Not the murder.

Other than Emma being disturbingly likable for a sociopathic mom-stabbing killer, the episode was basically a study in Kevin Bacon’s stubble, which sort of ranged anywhere from manly and rugged to Wall Street trader after a three day bender, and seemed to shift between these states at near randomness. Maybe the man just needs a new razor.  There’s a lot of slightly open-mouthed, dark-eyed and moody staring, accompanied by the aforementioned stubble. And another agent calls him “vodka breath” which was kind of the high point of the episode for me.

To be honest, I’m not sure why I keep watching this show. But I will be back next week for your regular Kevin Bacon stubble report.

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