Silent Hill: Revelation and Pyramid Head

io9 has posted the new trailer for Silent Hill: Revelation.

It looks like it’s based off of the third game of the Silent Hill series, which is probably my second favorite. Honestly, it should probably my favorite, but I played Silent Hill 2 first and it’s just kind of stuck with me. James is just so wonderfully ineffectual as a hero, I can’t quite get over it.

Heather, the heroine of Silent Hill 3, is infinitely more badass and has a lot of snappy dialog. I’m really hoping that’ll come through in the movie, since she isn’t one to just stare in horror and make the ‘I’m just about to vomit from an overload of fear’ face that seems to be the way most women emote in horror movies. She’s competent.

Though of course, who knows how close this will come to the game. I’ve already got a bad feeling, here, considering it sounds like Heather calls the Kit Harrington character “Vincent.” He sure as hell doesn’t look like a priest in the evil cult of Silent Hill. I’m getting a horror movie teen romance vibe from it, and that really misses the point of the entire story being about Heather through and through. There’s no room for a love story; it would be unnecessary and distracting from how cool the character is, even if the guy gets to be the damsel in distress for once. (And if he’s not, expect ranting.)

Perhaps unusually, I didn’t hate the first Silent Hill movie. It didn’t make an enormous impression on me – I can barely remember most of it – and it’s not as if I own a copy or have gone out of my way to see it more than once. But I remember it had some style, and I appreciated that there were certain things done incredibly well, like the nurses, Pyramid Head, and the creepy air raid siren. From the brief glimpses in the trailer, the nurses still look great. I’m reserving judgment on Pyramid Head, since I’m always worried he’s going to get overused or have his menace sapped by doing un-Pyramid-Head-like things. (Such as the bit where he seems to be driving some kind of machinery in the trailer.)

Because this is the thing about Pyramid Head. He’s terrifying in the same way old school, shambling zombies are terrifying. He’s not in a rush. He’s virtually indestructible. And you know no matter how fast you run, he’s going to eventually catch up and then you’re going to end up cut in half by a sword longer than you are tall. He doesn’t really make any sound, either. It’s all just the scrape of the sword on the ground, screeee screee.

True story: I’m too much of a weenie to play horror games. So when I say that I played one, what I actually mean is that my best friend Kat actually played it, while I sat behind her and offered frantic, helpful advice like, “Run! Run! Why aren’t you running? Shoot it! Shoot!” etc.

The first time we played Silent Hill 2, we were stuck on the roof of the hospital. I went and looked at a gamefaq to figure out what we were missing. Well, we were just supposed to go to one part of the roof, look at the diary pages there, and then we’d get a cut scene with Pyramid Head but it was okay because he wouldn’t actually hurt us.

Okay, there were the diary pages. Cut scene any moment now. Any moment… now. Any moment… now?

screeeeeee screeeeeee

At which point I screamed, perhaps louder than I had screamed in my entire life as the game camera whipped around to face Pyramid Head. Loud enough that I scared Kat into throwing the controller and jumping over the back of the couch.

I don’t know what it is about that monster. He still scares the hell out of me even when I know he’s coming. He’s a force of nature. Evil, horrifying nature that involves wearing a leather apron that is, for all I know, made out of human skin. And has a giant metal pyramid obscuring his entire head, which you’d think would be hilarious only it not.

So we’ll see. I imagine that I’ll end up seeing this movie, hopefully with Kat. But not in 3D.

Because of course, like all things today, the movie is going to be in 3D. Though apparently it was actually filmed in 3D rather than given a computer shop job. Fascinating, but not enough to make me want to endure having glasses perched over my glasses, or spending an hour and a half feeling like I’m going to vomit into my hat.

Though for the life of me, every time I see Silent Hill: Revelation IN 3D all I can think is this:

(Weird Al Yankovic: Nature Trail to Hell in 3D)

Threat level: Pyramidalicious (pessimistic but willing to be surprised)

Related: I’ve been to Centralia, the town that inspired Silent Hill.

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