Loki, for reasons entirely his own but no doubt both devilish and nefarious, decided to move to Houston on the backs of his two hapless mortal minions, Mike and Rachael.
They departed Denver bright an early on Sunday morning.
The scenery quickly became less interesting.
And then Kansas.
Which both claimed I-70 was its main street (Loki scoffed) and had more than its fair share of road construction. “Tiresome,” Loki commented.
As prairie dogs were so numerous as to warrant their own towns, and apparently came in varieties that grew up to 50 feet tall, Loki considered their merits as a secondary army.
Even gods require food.
Perhaps the most curious variant of corn available in Kansas.
The proximity to a gas pump let Loki feel even more evil and powerful, though he wasn’t quite certain why.
“Kneel before me, mortals of Oklahoma,” was Loki’s only comment. Being that there were no people in sight, but quite a few cows, and all the cows were in various states of prostration, he found that acceptable for the time being.
Though even he grew weary after a time.
Loki noted a distinct lack of both the wind sweeping down the plains, or the waving wheat smelling at all sweet.
Camp was made and Mythbusters was watched.
On the morrow, Loki kept close watch on the mortal hotel clerk.
Oklahoma’s finest were suitably intimidated by his presence.
The God of Mischief may be temporarily appeased by a cherry limeade. But only temporarily.
“We shall see who is truly alarmed, pitiful mortal device!”
At last, the apartment was reached, and Loki’s minions set to carrying his many belongings inside and arranging them to his satisfaction.
While for his part, Loki defeated a sandwich in a most epic battle of wits and strength.
And rewarded himself with a sugary confection after.
“I shall have my internet, mortal cable technician, or I shall know the reason why!”
At last, things temporarily arranged to his satisfaction, Loki rested.