X-Men: The Apology 1

Which is really what the title of X-Men: First Class ought to be. since it is an apology, I think, for at the very least X-Men 3: Insert Inane Subtitle Here and the howling comedy that was supposed to be Wolverine’s movie. Though if you’re me, it’s also an apology for the first two movies, because I’m still not ready to let go of the Halle Berry as Storm thing, and I probably never will because the nerdrage is strong with this one.

Though I’m also forced to admit, I’m not exactly X-Men fan number one. I have only read a few of the comics, and kind of gave up on them because it was just too difficult to figure out which comics I should be reading and in what order and if there was any sort of continuity. My hat’s off to you, comic book fans. I don’t know how you keep track of it all. It’s right up there with the time my grandmother tried to describe the current set of plots for The Young and the Restless to me. Except with mutant powers and more love children.

I actually liked the X-Men because I watched the cartoon when I was growing up. I don’t know if this makes me a hopeless noob. I have no idea how it meets the standards of the comics, and if I’m being honest, if I watched it now I’d be surprised if it was half as good as my memory claims it is. As is often the case with one’s beloved Saturday Morning cartoons.

Anyway, I was ready to give up on X-Men movies completely. I’m glad that Isaac and David told me how awesome this one is, and went with me to see it.

I think out of the summer movies so far, I still like Thor a bit better, but I liked First Class enough to go see it a second time (by myself) this morning. This is mostly due to James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, though I liked most everyone in that movie other than Rose Byrne, who just never convinced me she was a CIA agent let alone a viable love interest for Charles Xavier. I’ll admit to a certain amount of prejudice since I do like me some slash, but I’m also not one to insist on an OTP that makes absolutely no sense. So nyar.

(A few small spoilers)

Anyway, I think the thing I really liked about First Class was what it did for Magneto as a character. It made his entire attitude a lot more understandable, and really set up an interesting dynamic between him and Charles. To be honest, by the end of the movie I was really rooting for Magneto’s viewpoint, because to hell with all of that hippy dippy love everyone shit when the fleets of two nations that were five minutes ago almost at war decide to settle their differences by killing the poor mutant schmucks on the beach who technically just saved the goddamn world. Particularly when the best defense Charles could come up with was, “They were just following orders.” Ouch.

So yes, it’s excellent, go see it.

Also, as ridiculous as this is, Magneto’s power is really giving me fits. And yes, I know, that’s stupid considering the dude in the movie who can shoot red hula hoops of energy out of his chest. But it just bugs my little geek brain that it’s implied to be some kind of magnetic thing, when he spends all of his time messing around with metals that aren’t actually magnetic.

Which sort of gives a new twist on him not being able to move the coin for Shaw at the beginning of the movie. “I can’t! I can’t! It’s not actually magnetic!” YES I KNOW IT’S RIDICULOUS.

It was suggested that maybe it’s more of an inducing a current and therefore a magnetic field because hey, that at least opens up any metal that’s conductive. That’s about the point where I fell off the physics train, so I have no idea if that’s even a plausible half-assed explanation for being able to saw through someone’s head with a piece of currency. Though if that is Magneto’s actual power, it would make sense he’d want to stick to a more magnetism-sounding name. “The Inducer” just doesn’t sound that intimidating… more like it would be his stripper stage name.

(/spoilers)

Enough overthinking things that really ought to be covered under the suspension of disbelief anyway. But I find it entertaining.

I’m hoping they’ll do another movie with the younger Professor X and Magneto, though at the same time I’m a little scared of it, knowing how Hollywood does love to fuck up a sequel.

Speaking of, saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Not even Johnny Depp doing his Keith Richards impression was enough to keep me from checking my phone to see how much longer this could possibly go on. Pirates failed abjectly where the X-Men succeeded.

The better men, indeed.

One comment on “X-Men: The Apology

  1. Reply JohnD Jun 9,2014 13:13

    It was suggested that maybe it’s more of an inducing a current and therefore a magnetic field because hey, that at least opens up any metal that’s conductive. That’s about the point where I fell off the physics train, so I have no idea if that’s even a plausible half-assed explanation for being able to saw through someone’s head with a piece of currency.

    The term you want is Hall effect. It is used to make sensors and brakes and all kinds of other nerdy goodness. Of course, it does make those spinning bullets a bit of a problem but what do you expect for a ten-cent retcon?

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