Congratulations. You Have Survived Your Battle With ::Dentist::

I survived my six month check up! Yay! Considering how much I hate going to the dentist1, I feel like this is really an accomplishment.

Also, I’m finally on Mike’s insurance! Double yay! I was ridiculously excited to find this out, since it meant I could finally afford to have x-rays, and a consult with the dentist. And the fact that I was excited about both those things is probably the most clear signal to date that yes, I am now thirty years old.

The news was mostly good. No new cavities, the problem areas between a few of my teeth that seemed to be developing four years ago (the last time I could afford x-rays) have either not gotten worse or even cleared up entirely. So that’s happy.

However, the bad news is that my issue with clenching and grinding my teeth has gotten worse. Way, way, way worse. To the point that it’s apparently messing up my teeth so badly that it shows up on the x-rays, and has caused me to partially dislodge one of my old fillings. This apparently also explains the headaches I sometimes wake up with, and why my jaw sometimes locks. Awesome.

So Dr. Jason (the world’s tallest dentist) told me to get an over the counter mouth guard thingy to wear at night. Not every night, but just during periods of time when I’m feeling really stressed (HAHAHA) and seeing signs that I might be starting to grind or clench my teeth. He said that would either fix my problem entirely or make it way, way worse. In the latter case I would then need to get fitted for a custom mouth guard thingy that will run $300-$400, because Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas would not pay for piss if you were on fire, unless of course you had already reached your ludicrous deductible, and then maybe, well we guess, if we have to, grumble grumble.

And at the end of the month I get to look forward to having the filling I’ve destroyed replaced. Which supposedly is only going to take five minutes, but will still involve me getting poked in the gums with a needle.

I can feel my teeth clenching already.

1: If anyone ever tries to convince you to get your wisdom teeth done without being put under, tell them to shut the fuck up and just give you the drugs, because you’re carrying a hand grenade and have absolutely nothing to lose.

Leave a Reply