Want to make me watch San Andreas?

A lot of people have been asking me about this one. Come on, it can’t be that bad, can it?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA ha ha ha haaaaa

Well. Uh. I like the Rock? And the geologist isn’t wearing a white labcoat? And watching the Rayleigh wave go through LA is… kind of cool, even if it’s moving way too slowly?

Oh, who am I kidding. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE A TSUNAMI EVEN AGH Deep breaths. This one must be aiming for a spot on the DVD shelf o’ bad geology, right between Volcano and The Core. Fuck you, my liver can’t take this right now.

So here’s the deal. Donate money to charity, and I will watch this movie and write a review of some sort for it. Raise more, and you get my notes. Don’t raise enough money, and I won’t go, but charities still get money, so yay! The price I’m setting on this turd is $400 $300. (You get the Rock’s biceps discount.) The movie comes out on May 29, but I have company from out of town that week so will be unlikely to see it until June 1 at the earliest. So that gives you nearly two weeks to come up with the money if this is going to be a thing.

Accepted charities are:


As usual, honor system. Donate, then contact me via social networking site, email, or messenger pigeon to tell me how much you donated. If you don’t get some kind of acknowledgment from me, I didn’t get the message. (If you prefer your donation to remain anonymous, please tell me that too.)

Progress: $155/$300


  1. Zig Zag Claybourne ($20)
  2. Emily ($10)
  3. Madred ($100)
  4. Pat ($25)

ETA: Sorry to say, but the time for this has passed and the goal wasn’t met. So I don’t have to see the movie (Yay!) and charity got $155 (YAY) so I think we all still win. :)

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