We’re back to the sillier and much more literal side of the No Sh!t Table of Contents: I’m Not Taking This Phantom Crap Anymore by David Jón Fuller. In this case, the problem is literally no shit–crap is mysteriously disappearing from the outhouses of a bunch of quaint little lakeside cabins. And it’s up to the intrepid Kristoff with his husband Dale in tow to solve the mystery before all of the missing crap mysteriously reappears at the worst possible moment and in the worst possible place. (As if there’s a good place for several tons of human feces to suddenly pop into existence.)
This story is fun, a sort of Nancy Drew and the Case of the Missing Crap if Nancy was actually a gay Canadian man who investigates otherworldly mysteries using psychic powers activated by knitting.
Yes, you did read that correctly. Kristoff’s appetite for yarn cannot be denied. His poor husband seems resigned to having his sweaters sacrificially unraveled now and then.
The otherworldly forces behind the crap wandering off are something I found personally amusing for a myriad of reasons, but I don’t want to give them away. You’ll just have to support the Kickstarter and read the story yourself. I finished this story hoping that there are more adventures of Kristoff (he does mention a werewolf problem, maybe David will tell us more about that some day, hint hint David) since he would make a wonderful hero to follow while curled up under a blanket, a mug of hot chocolate close to hand.