Alternate Titles for X-Men: Apocalypse


The Best Apology for X3 We’ll Get Because Seppuku Isn’t Exactly Legal

The Perfect Mohawk Storm

We Need to Talk About Erik

A Decade Later and Charles and Erik Are Still Arguing About Who Broke That Fucking Pickle Dish

Marriage Counseling Would Be Cheaper Than an Apocalypse

You Sure Don’t Look Ten Years Older

Moira McTaggert and the Chamber of SNAFU

The Chronicles of Xavier’s Hair

Thank Fuck Wolverine Is Only a Cameo

You Can Find Erik’s Family in the Refrigerated Section Next to Our Selection of Fine Pastas

Nightcrawler (No, Not the Creepy Sociopathic Reporter, the Blue Guy in a Michael Jackson Jacket)

That Can’t Be Scott, He’s Not Nearly Enough of a Dick

Okay But Where Is Our PG-Rated Jubilee Movie?

Skynet Did It Better OR Never Send An Immortal Douchebag Mutant to Do a Computer’s Job

A Complete Waste of Oscar Isaac’s Talents

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