The Dark Knight Rises

Tragedy or no, of course I had to see this movie. I love Christopher Nolan. I loved the other two movies in the trilogy.I’m a nerd. Duh. (Oh, and in case you missed the news? Christian Bale is a fucking superhero. For reals.) I liked The Dark Knight Rises, quite a bit. Though I didn’t ...

The Hollow Crown 4: Henry V 1

I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, Straining upon the start. This. The Saturday I’ve been waiting for! Favorite play ever, favorite actor ever, go! Rather than start this review with seven pages of frantic keysmashing, allow me to just say: Fuck yeah. With bells on. There was everything to love about the ...

The Hollow Crown 3: Henry IV Part 2

Finally got to watch this, and not a moment to soon! Darn field work for standing between me and Shakespeare anyway. It’s okay, baby, I’m here for you now. I’ll never let them tear us apart again. Henry IV Part 2 starts off with scene 1 and 2 being intercut again, as it was in Part ...

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

I’ve owned the soundtrack for this movie since it came out, actually, and I never bothered to watch the movie itself. I actually liked the first Transformers movie all right, in that sort of well it’s got explosions and giant robots and it makes okay background noise kind of way. Revenge of the Fallen left me in ...

Not So Amazing

To reward myself for surviving the never-ending defensive driving course from somewhere not nearly cool enough to be hell, I went to a movie. The only thing I felt motivated to see was The Amazing Spiderman. My reaction was: …meh. Yes, I know my nerd card deserves to be taken away. Try it, buddy. I ...

The Hollow Crown 2: Henry IV Part 1

Henry IV part 1 today. Hilariously enough it was delayed by an hour because of Wimbledon. A tennis delay seems like something that would be so much more appropriate to Henry V… …not that I’m in any way asking for a tennis delay by the time we get to that play. I might implode. I don’t ...

An open letter to Prometheus

Yo, here be spoilers.Dear Prometheus: I wanted to love you, I really did. From the moment I first saw the trailer I thought this was going to be one of the movies I was born to love. Horseshoe ship! Space jockey! Michael Fassbender! Flamethrowers! And it’s not like I generally have standards that high, right? ...

Brave

There are many things I manifestly Do Not Get about the reactions people seem to be having to Brave. I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about it not being up to the standards of other Pixar movies. Or it’s just too much of a girl movie. Or something. What? Did we even see the ...

The Hollow Crown 1: Richard II

I have been in a state of nerd DEFCON 2 all year, I swear. 2012 is starting to feel like the apology for the (other than Thor) rather thin offerings of things that to watch in 2011. But I haven’t just been vibrating with barely controlled glee over the various extravaganzas of shit blowing up ...

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 1

Try, for a moment, to imagine the most ridiculously awesome thing possible. Imagine a unicorn composed of woven rainbows and cotton candy with hooves of chiming silver bells and a goofy, horsey smile. Imagine this unicorn galloping across a sky made of pie and pudding and baby giggles while Eric Prydz’s Call On Me remix plays in ...