Bad Movie Liveblogging: Dante’s Peak

It’s a cassic, and I haven’t seen it yet. Get ready for bad geology in 3… 2… 1… 1740: Here we go. The opening titles have some brooding strings going. (Ellen: “Pierce Brosnan? WOO!” Woo indeed, Ellen.) Oooh, look at those flamey opening titles. THE RAGING FURY OF A VOLCANO. 1741: Make no mistake. This ...

Fright Night

I have never actually seen the original Fright Night, but my best friend Kat has, and she seemed to think the remake did just fine. As someone completely new to the franchise, I felt like it was well worth my $8.50 at the local AMC. I don’t think I need to get spoilery, since it’s ...

X-Men: The Apology 1

Which is really what the title of X-Men: First Class ought to be. since it is an apology, I think, for at the very least X-Men 3: Insert Inane Subtitle Here and the howling comedy that was supposed to be Wolverine’s movie. Though if you’re me, it’s also an apology for the first two movies, ...

Hilarity Ensues: We’ve Declared War on a Glacier

My friends, I present you with: 2012: Ice Age There’s a volcano. It unleashes a glacier. Don’t ask me how. But it’s a fast glacier. A really, really, really, really fast glacier that’s like a brazillion thousand miles across and can get from the Arctic to the US in a day or two, because it ...

Thor Loki Makes Me Go Squee

I liked the hell out of Thor; it’s a fun movie, and I hope I’ll get to see it again while it’s still in theaters. Watch out, mateys, THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD! SPOILERS I liked Thor as a character well enough, and I appreciated that his major arc was realizing that he was kind of ...

Of Fishnets and Fully Automatic Weapons

ETA on 11.9.14 to note that wow I basically disagree with everything I said in this. WTF, self. Well, other than the fact that this movie is super, super pretty. I saw Sucker Punch yesterday. And I really liked it. Which actually came as something of a surprise to me, since I generally tend to ...

The Adjustment Bureau, and a Day I Really Needed

The Adjustment Bureau is two hours of lovely fun laced with just enough suspense and paranoia and Matt Damon looking both earnest and tasty, which is then completely ruined by the last three minutes of ridiculous feel-good cop out ending. Seriously. If you’re going to make a movie out of a fucking Philip K. Dick ...

Agora

Home from England, safe and sound. I’ve been fed (thanks to my parents) and have also taken a shower so I no longer smell like the inside of a plane. So really, I’m feeling refreshed and human again, but incredibly tired. I knew we’d gotten back into the US of A when, upon entering the ...

The Expendables

Toward the end of this movie, there’s an odd scene that takes place in the passenger area of the Expendables’ ass-kicking cargo plane of doom, where the token black guy (Terry Crews) shows off his weapons to one of his fellow mercenaries. His final weapon is an extremely shiny straight razor with a handle made ...

Inception 1

The quick review: You really, really, really ought to go see this movie. If Memento was the warm up, Inception was the main event. I really don’t want to go into a lot of detail about the story or the concept. If you want to know either, you can read other reviews and get a ...