Sandy Hook "Truthers"

So yeah. This is apparently an actual thing. (ETA: Oh here. Have some more WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.) I need a kitty right fucking now okay. I mean, I know I shouldn’t be surprised, considering the unceasing plague of 9/11 Truthers and Birthers. Though Birthers (you know, the utter crackpots that are convinced President ...

Stop calling me a "real woman"

Because you know what that implies? Are there really femmebots out there, complete with boob guns that make up the category of “not real” women? Are there girls made out of plastic? Is there a test you have to take, or are there government regulations sort of like they have for beef that mean we ...

It’s my road too.

Dear person who honked at me: Look, a car horn isn’t really the best communication medium there is. I guess we could try morse code, or set phrases like the general 10-codes, but outside of that I don’t really know what you’re trying to tell me. Of course, I have some guesses. Maybe you’re trying ...

Losing weight sucks 4

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while, but I’ve been putting it off. It’s tough to write. Anything about weight and self-image and societal bullshit is kind of destined to be. Over the last two years and three months, I’ve lost about 75 pounds, going from 270 to 195. I’m now back ...

You know what else is part of the beautiful spectrum of human experience?

Not having kids. Articles like this one seem designed to piss me off and make me pound out ranty things on my keyboard. Yet putting yourself last is one of the best things that can happen to a writer. I make no moral claims for motherhood ­— which can bring out the worst in a person, ...

You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

So there was the thing over at Jim C Hines’ blog, where I made the mistake of reading comments and once again it made me wonder if we could claim that part of humanity is just something we found on the curb, like an unwanted couch. Jim canceled his Reddit Q&A because there was a ...

United would like to know how I enjoyed my flights to State College

Well, United, let me tell you. My amazing, superfun and exciting travel experience started out with a most enjoyable wait in IAH at the gate where our party plane was supposed to meet my group. Only there was no plane! It was off playing hide and seek with the other airplanes. Those scamps! While the ...

I Give a Homeopathic Fuck About Your Entitled Whining

Dear Sir and/or Madam: Thank you very much for bringing to my attention the important issue of (circle one):a) white people losing their privileged position/racial majority in this countryb) your deep feelings that gay people getting married somehow renders your marriage less specialc) your barely concealed rage that we no longer live in a fictionalized ...

Fifty Shades of Pissed Off

I’m probably not going to rant about what you expect. It’s pretty standard these days for struggling writers who haven’t scored their first novel publication yet to go off on bitter, venomous screeds about, for example, Stephanie Meyer or E.L. James and how damn unfair it is that obviously I can string words together in a ...

Everyone’s a Hero

Everyone’s a hero in their own wayYou and you and mostly me and you. — Captain Hammer Stephen Marche wrote a column about the utter meaninglessness of the word ‘hero’ as currently used in America: We Are All Heroes. The stinger at the end sums the whole thing up nicely: If people living up to ...