The Bourne _____________ 1

Jason Bourne is in a foreign country doing things that guys do when they have manpain. He just wants to be left alone. Then a shadowy part of the US government, headed by [old white guy] decides to do something sketchy that sets up the overly convoluted B-plot and also decides that this time he ...

[Movie] Arrival

I’m still trying to figure out how to tell you about Arrival. What I can say other than it’s a movie that made me laugh with sheer delight as the plot came together, and then cry because at the end of a really awful week (election week) it made me feel hope for humanity. You really ...

[Movie] Vice 1

I made it my goal to watch and review one new movie per week, so I wouldn’t have a recurrence of the complete lack of any content I had in September and October. Of course, little did I know that my first weekend post-goal setting would be November 4 & 5, which offered up a ...

[Movie] The Magnificant Seven (2016)

I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that I’m only just now going to tell you how fucking amazing the new The Magnificent Seven movie is. Because it is fucking amazing. If it’s still showing in your area, you should go see it while you still can. Though I will add one ...

[Movie] Star Trek: Beyond

Star Trek Beyond makes a for a good apology for the aggravating mess that was Star Trek: Into Darkness. But it fails hard at its most basic job: being a Star Trek film. This is a trend that’s been endemic since the first new Trek film and has only gotten worse with each movie. The original ...

[Movie] Ghostbusters (2016) 2

[Movie] Ghostbusters (2016)
Warning: depending upon your spoiler sensitivity level, you may want to skip the plot synopsis (red) until after you’ve seen the film. Ghostbusters (2016) comes to us in a world saturated with sequels and remakes and reboots that no one wanted, needed, or asked for—and finally, we get a reboot we actually deserve. I have ...

[Movie] Warcraft

It says a lot that it’s been something like two weeks since I saw Warcraft and I’m only now writing about it. Mostly because… honestly? I don’t have a lot to say. The thing you need to understand here is that I’ve played all the original Warcraft RTS games, and devoted more hours of my life ...

[Movie] Independence Day: Resurgence

In news that should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever spent five minutes in a room with me, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. Please note here, I am not going to make any claims that it is a good movie, by whatever measure of good you want to pretend is ...

Alternate Titles for X-Men: Apocalypse

X-MEN: The Best Apology for X3 We’ll Get Because Seppuku Isn’t Exactly Legal The Perfect Mohawk Storm We Need to Talk About Erik A Decade Later and Charles and Erik Are Still Arguing About Who Broke That Fucking Pickle Dish Marriage Counseling Would Be Cheaper Than an Apocalypse You Sure Don’t Look Ten Years Older Moira McTaggert ...

[Movie] Thoughts on Captain America: Civil War 7

Well, holy shit. I went in expecting a hot mess that I’d love anyway (hello, Age of Ultron) and instead got a movie that I feel like I need to make dying seagull noises about and then place it on a shelf next to Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I’m not going to write a more standard-ish review. ...