[Movie] Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Alfred 8

Batman vs Superman is the story of an engineering genius named Alfred who has decided to dedicate his life in service to the Wayne family as a butler, much to his detriment. As not-so-young-any-more Master Bruce goes into an out-of-control spiral of obsession laced with extremely lucid an violent dreams that really ought to have ...

[Movie] Zootopia

I’ve been avoiding writing about this movie. Not because it’s bad. Hell no. Exact opposite. But because there’s just so much meat there that I’m not even sure where to start. Well, I’ll start by saying that I absolutely loved this movie, and that I almost didn’t see it. After my feeling of profound meh ...

[Movie] Gods of Egypt: Should’ve got the lettuce wrap 11

[Movie] Gods of Egypt: Should've got the lettuce wrap
Well, you jerks gave enough money to Act For Change. You paid for my suffering. Here’s what you get. And by the way? The manager at my local Alamo Drafthouse, who now recognizes me on sight, initially assumed I was there to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service. Oh no, I told him. Gods of Egypt. His eyebrows ...

[Movie] The VVitch 4

Hey you! Yeah you! I’m raising money for Act for Change, and in exchange I’ll drunk watch Gods of Egypt and chronicle my suffering for your enjoyment. Details here. I don’t even do the horror thing, why do I keep watching these movies? It’s all David Annandale‘s fault, basically. I saw this trailer for The ...

[Movie] Hail, Caesar 3

Hey you! Yeah you! I’m raising money for Act for Change, and in exchange I’ll drunk watch Gods of Egypt and chronicle my suffering for your enjoyment. Details here. I’m guessing that if you’re a big enough fan of the Coen brothers, you will convince yourself that Hail, Caesar! is a work of genius. I’m not ...

Deadpool, Zoolander 2, sexy fighting, and transmisogyny 2

Spoilers for specific scenes in both movies. I saw two movies this weekend: Zoolander 2, and Deadpool. Actually, I saw Deadpool twice because I liked it that much. I don’t know jack shit about Deadpool as a comic book character, but the movie is hella funny and I think Ryan Reynolds finally got the movie he’s been craving for years. It’s ...

[Movie] Brooklyn

This movie was pretty good. You should support Act For Change and make me watch a bad movie instead so you can feast upon my sarcastic rage. I’ve been trying to catch up on as many best picture nominees as possible for special podcast-related reasons, so I jumped at the chance of seeing this one ...

Gods of Suffering. I Mean Egypt. 3

And lo, in the year of our Lord 2016, Hollywood is giving us an Egypt so white it almost looks like the Oscars. Just kidding. One of the Egyptian gods (Thoth) actually is played by an African-American actor, which makes this movie significantly more diverse than the 2016 Academy Awards and let’s just contemplate that ...

[Movie] 400 Days 1

400 Days is the first theatrical release film from a company (SyFy) that’s been cranking mediocre to howlingly (we hope intentionally) funny terribad movies out onto its cable station for years. Getting in to movie theaters is a big deal, a major investment, but doesn’t necessarily guarantee a movie’s actually good, right? Let me tell you, ...

[Movie] The Revenant

The Revenant is one of those movies where the trailer tells you everything you need to know about the fairly simple plot while still leaving you woefully unprepared for the actual film. Spoilers below, I suppose, though the plot is really not what moves any of this. Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck) ...