If you don’t like Furious 7, you are wrong 1

So the first thing you should know is that I’ve never actually seen a Fast and Furious film until this Saturday, when my friend Robin invited me out to see it because she knew (due to another friend of ours) that I have this positively unhealthy thing about Jason Statham, or rather, the way Jason ...

By the bulging right eye of Christian Grey! 10

The story so far: Sixteen sadistic jerk-asses banded together and raised $843.39, thus forcing me to see 50 Shades of Grey. I went on Saturday. I had two beers and three hurricanes in a little over two hours. I am not ashamed to admit that I got really fucked up in a way that had ...

[Movie] Blackhat 1

Blackhat is a spy-fi movie about good hackers trying to stop bad hackers from doing nasty things to manipulate the stock market. It also involves a not inconsiderable amount of shooting and blowing things up, and eventually death via screw driver. Like most spy-fi/thriller movies, the actual details of the plot are perhaps needlessly convoluted, ...

Snowmageddon? 5

So the TV is on and my friencd just turned it to Syfy and Snowmageddon. I think the movie is already in progress. I don’t think it matters. A giant snowball just blew up a school bus and decapitated Santa. LIVEBLOGGING COMMENCES. (If only we’d started drinking. Damnit.) 1358: Commercials. A tiny woman is watching a ...

[Movie] Nightcrawler 1

What if it’s not that I don’t understand people, but that I don’t like them? Nightcrawler is… unsettling. But not in the same way as, say, Filth. It’s the kind of movie that makes you cringe into your seat in the theater, because there are awkward things, and things that go on that just are profoundly wrong, and you ...

[Movie] Interstellar 3

I imagine a lot of people have been comparing Interstellar to 2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s not a bad comparison to consider, though Interstellar is definitely rather more action-oriented than 2001. Interstellar touches on a lot of similar themes, like the vastness of space versus the fragility of human life, man’s relationship with the greater cosmos, and the spiritual and ...

The Young Ones trailer makes me :/ 1

Saw the trailer for this movie right before Dead Snow 2. (Which was AWESOME by the way. AWESOME, My review for that will be doing up on the Skiffy and Fanty blog too and I’ll try to remember to link it here.) On its face, there’s a lot of stuff that I should like. Draught ...

The one truly creepy thing in Ghostbusters 14

Happy 30th birthday, Ghostbusters! I saw the 30th anniversary rerelease of Ghostbusters last week and man, that movie is still freaking gold. It’s hilarious. Catch your chance to see it on the big screen while you can. I’d even go so far as to call Ghostbusters one of the formative movies of my life. It’s had a very definite effect ...

Ridley Scott explains nothing, actually 6

Ridley Scott explains nothing, actually
Okay, someone hold my hat, I am about to come unglued here. So yeah, by now you might have heard that Ridley Scott is making a movie called Exodus: Gods and Kings, which is based off the Bible story. Which takes place in Egypt.  Allow me to illustrate, briefly, where Eqypt is located: Okay? Now. Some ...

[Movie] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: could have been worse 4

[Movie] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: could have been worse
Well, you did it, so I did it, so here we are. Charity gets $300 and you get to make me suffer for a little over an hour and a half. There was unfortunately no drinking accomplished during this movie, but that was because I had two tablets of vicodin on board to help defeat ...