Category: liveblog

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liveblog worldcon

[WorldCon] WSFS Preliminary Business Meeting Liveblog

AND WE’RE LIVE.

Thanks to Corina Stark for hotspotting her phone so I can use her data for this liveblog.

Rules as usual: I will be updating this post every few minutes once the meeting starts. Newest things will be at the bottom so this will eventually be chronological. Don’t be surprised if I interject opinions occasionally. There may be some misspelled or missing names as I go along, so this post may be corrected later. Apologies in advance if I miss your name the first go round!

The agenda is rather… robust this year. 69 pages. Already hearing a lot of comments about that.

We’ll be starting… soon.

AND HERE WE GO.

1009: Just going over parliamentary procedure for the meeting via a short video…

1016: Jared Dashoff calls the meeting to order and introduces everyone. Tim Illingworth, Linda Deneroff, Donald Eastlake, Lisa Hertel. Reminder that the meetings will be recorded and then loaded to youtube as quickly as possible.

1018: Point of parliamentary code, clarification on how we will be doing serpentines if necessary.

1019: Reminder today is the preliminary business meeting, going over what the next several meetings will be. If we are not done with the agenda on Sunday. we will be in this room UNTIL WE ARE DONE. Today we will be setting debate time for all motions. Any amendments are in order on new items, no amendments in this meeting for items already passed.

1021: We can vote on any resolutions coming out of committee today. Any motions coming from a committee report have to be voted on at the main business meeting. Reminder: we can postpone indefinitely today or object to consideration.

1022: On to business passed on.

1023: Kevin Standlee question of privilege: requests that all questions be spoken or repeated into the mic for recording purposes.

1023: Business passed on. Eastlake reminding us that there is a time dilation issue, so propose brief debate times.

1024: Yes, we can reorder items today.

1026: What if it’s a tie? Jared: Then I get to vote.

1027: Best Fancast. No objection to six minutes of debate.

1027: The 5% Solution. 10 minutes suggested. 4 minutes proposed and seconded. 6 proposed and seconded.

1028: Six minutes debate set for 5% solution.

1029: Kevin Standlee serves warning that he is planning to amend the 5% solution.

1029: 10 minutes suggested for Multiple Nominations. Several other times suggested.

1030: Time set at 8 minutes.

1031: Nominee Diversity suggested at 10 minutes. Time set at 8 minutes.

1032: Josh Kronengold moves to postpone Nominee Diversity definitely until after EPH is voted on. There is no objection to moving it until after EPH.

Everyone is being so agreeable so far.

1033: Electronic Signature has a 12 minute suggested debate time. Multiple objections.

1034: Someone suggested 20 minutes. Everyone else is opposed.

1035: Debate for Electronic Signature set at 10 minutes.

1035: Cliff Dun moves to postpone EPH definitely until after 4 and 6. Multiple objections. Cliff argues that 4 and 6 is the least destructive proposal and should be considered first.

1036: Mr Dejarden is one of the makers of 4 and 6 and argues that the effect cannot be considered until we know if EPH will be in or not. If EPH passes, he will be moving to amend his own proposal.

1037: Jason Spitzer seconds the least destructive point. Also points out that some amendments are much more difficult to implement. It would be a waste of our time to consider more complicated amendments when we could just pass 4 and 6 and end it there.

1039: Motion to postpone EPH definitely until after 4 and 6. Motion does not pass. Order remains the same.

1040: 20 minutes of debate time suggested for EPH. Multiple objections. Someone suggests 30. Oh sweet Jesus.

1041: Time set at 20 minutes anyway.

1041: David McCarty moves to locate 4 and 6, EPH, and Nominee Diversity to the Sunday meeting so we can see the Hugo data. They have a report ready for us (which they presumably can’t share til after the ceremony). EPH is being tested this year; the data is being run both ways.

1044: Gary Rob questions why Nominee Diversity is related to EPH and 4 and 6.

1044: They’re not actually related, but Nominee Diversity has already been postponed definitely until after EPH, so perforce it must move. Anyway, we have five data sets of EPH processed data we can look at on Sunday.

1045: Rick Kovalcik against: we have enough data now to shoot down claims.

1049: Call the question for postponing definitely. Objection because someone has remarks against. Some debate on how this works, moving to vote on the question.

1051: Motion to postpone definitely until Sunday passes. We’ll be looking at 4 and 6, EPH, and Nominee Diversity on Sunday.

(Missed a little bit of stuff here because I had to take a phone call.)

1057: Kate Secor argues that Nominee Diversity is an issue of itself and should be debated on its own merits rather than linked to other amendments that have no direct relation.

1058: I have no idea what just happened. We’re getting into the parliamentary stuff here, baby.

1059: Mr Bloom votes to suspend the rules so we can get ourselves out of this tangle and vote to just move Nominee Diversity back.

1100: We are now going to vote to move it back. Motion passes. Nominee Diversity is no longer on Sunday.

1101: Now we have to set debate time to 4 and 6. Much objection. Such suggestions. Wow.

1103: 10 minutes of debate set for 4 and 6.

1103: Now for the new items.

1105: Meeting back in order after a brief recess.

1106: Best Series. Motion to amend by Mr Kronengold. He wants to add a Best Epic category and some other portions.

1107: Mr Buff says this is the best compromise they were able to work out.

1107: PoI from Ms Seacourt question if this creates two new categories?

1108: Mr Kronengold says this would not create a second category, but would open it up for works in other categories that get substantially longer.

1109: Amendment fails.

1110: I object to the re-eligibility portion of the amendment and move to remove that.

1111: Someone from the committee speaks for.

1112: Kate Secor shares my concerns.

1114: Speech against. Mr Kronengold points out that he wants to strike the thing that prevents the same work from being nominated again.

1115: Question of intent. If we strike this part, will that mean the series can’t be eligible again or will be every year.

1116: Striking this would make it eligible endlessly? I would hope not.

1117: Mr Olson moves to return this to committee and return tomorrow with an up or down motion showing different consequences. Colin Harris will be chairing committee. (I’m going to try to get on that.)

1118: Now we’re actually going to set debate time.

1119: Ben Yalow brings up that the motion has been referred to committee and is no longer under the meeting’s control. Eastlake points out that we are still in control of our own agenda.

1120: How can we set debate time if we don’t know what the actual item will be?

1121: Motion to set debate time independently for the amendment and the motion.

1122: Colin Harris plans to come back with something simple and concise to clear up the intent of the motion.

1124: Setting debate time for the main motion. 10 minutes set.

1126: Setting debate time on my amendment. 6 minutes.

1127: Move to postpone Best Series and amendment definitely to after EPH. On Sunday. (WHY?) Points out that series are particularly subject to slate voting; he cannot vote well without knowing how the slate voting has been addressed.

1128: Rick Kovalcik says there should be as little as possible to do on Sunday. Motion to call the question.

1129: Motion fails. Best Series stays put.

1130: 10 minute recess.

1142: Meeting called back to order. Committee about series will meet after this meeting. Informal discussion of EPH, etc, will occur after the meeting tomorrow

1144: December Is Good Enough.

1144: Motion to suspend the rules to limit debate time per person so if there is 10 minutes, you only get one minute of speaking time. Etc.

1145: Ben Yalow points out that motions are sometimes complex, “I’d rather hear a really good two minute speech than a bunch of really lousy 30 second speeches.”

1146: Kate Secor points out that a motion to extend the entire debate can be made.

1147: Gary Blog wants to hear more opinions rather than just one person dominating the debate time.

1148: Warren Buff moves to amend so that debate time is automatically extended by 30 seconds until five people get a chance to speak.

1149: Kronengold moves to amend so that if fewer than five have spoken on a given side, the voting threshold to extending debate drops to 50% rather than 2/3.

1151: Ben Yalow brings up germaneness. Jared Dashoff rules it is germane.

1151: Question is called. Motion fails.

1153: Okay, now we’re voting on the limitation of debate times per person. This motion fails as well.

1154: Back to December Is Good Enough. Time set at 8 minutes.

1155: Two Years Are Good Enough. 10 minutes debate time set.

1157: This Year’s Hugos, This Year’s Nominators. Ben Yalow speaks for it.

1158: Colin Harris is against. The future year is a moving target with new members being added all the time. The future voters only add a few hundred to an already huge pool. Makes things more game-able(?). Believes it exposes the awards to being much more easily gamed in smaller years.

1201: Mr Kovalcik is for. This would have caused more supporting member income for MidAmeriCon.

1204: I speak against. I’m interested in more participation.

1204: Kate Secor for. Very valid point that it allows nomination, not voting.

1205: Speech against; point that this cuts off people who join after the deadline and they get no shot at nominating ever even if they bought the full membership.

1206: Warren Buff for; Getting people to join early and encouraging that is very good for the planning of the WorldCons.

1207: Adrian Foster against; the reason we started the two year process is because of the cut-off date. If we take the previous years nominators off, we should remove the cut-off date as well.

1208: Ms Rudolph acknowledges that the nomination process is broken/has some serious deficits. This will help focus the nominations on the people who care the most about the outcome of the Hugos. This only impacts nominations, not voting. This will discourage people who are not invested in the process.

1211: Ms Hayes against. Anyone who joined the day of should get something for that membership. (They didn’t get a chance to nominate/vote this year, so…)

1212: Mr Kovalcik when we went from one year to two years, it was hard to buy a membership. It’s easier to buy a membership now.

1213: Debate time has expired. Vote on the amendment by substitution. The amendment fails. This Year’s Awards, This Year’s Nominators FAILS. So we will be considering “Two Years Are Enough” rather than the stricter version.

1216: Three Stage Voting comes up. There is a seconded motion to postpone indefinitely.

1217: Mr Blog really LOATHES this amendment. Points out this will just make Approval Wars basically. Additional stage of voting gives the administrators even more to do.

1218: Colin Harris asks that this at least gets open debate.

1219: Mr Kronengold moves to call the questions. Seconded. Question is called.

1222: Motion to propose indefinitely fails. Three Stage Voting stays on the agenda.

1224: Mark Protection committee nominations. Three retiring members re-nominated.

1228: Moving on to Additional Finalists. Motion to propose indefinitely. There’s some scrambling.

1230: Now a speech against Additional Finalists as anti-democratic.

1231: Ms Hayes as maker of motion. It has numerous flaws. It deserves the chance to at least be debated.

1231: Kate Secor in favor of postponement. This is completely antithetical to the spirit of the Hugos and does not even deserve open debate.

1232: Question of postponing Additional Finalists indefinitely is called. Hands are unclear. IT’S SERPENTINE TIME, KIDS. BUCKLE UP.

1236: 36 Against to 81 For. Additional Finalists is postponed indefinitely.

1236: EPH+ is next. Mr Blog moves that EPH+ is moved definitely to be after EPH and 4 and 6 on Sunday.

1238: Mr Blog declines to give a speech in favor of his motion. Ms Hayes against. Because if EPH+ is better than EPH, let’s just talk about that first.

1239: Mr Quinn even if we pass EPH+, for this year EPH still matters.

1239: Question is called. Mr Dashoff reminds us that the way to show there is no objection is with silence.

1240: Motion passes. EPH+ will be on Sunday. Now time is set for debate. 16 minutes of debate time set.

1242: Defining North America. 2 minutes of debate time!

1243: Retrospective Improvements. Ben Yalow stands to move that the question be divided. He believes that 3.13.1 and 3.13.2 are sufficiently different that they should be divided. Seconded.

1248: Parliamentary scrambling, the conclusion is this is not debatable so let’s vote. The division passes.

1249: Kevin Standlee proposes dividing so it’s three parts and now two. He asks unanimous consent. Mr Buff objects. “I tried!” –Standlee. Then we devote anyway and the division goes through.

1250: Dashoff proposes six minutes per. Objection. Dashoff says debate time will be all three at once though. Four minutes.

1251: Universal Suffrage. Six minutes is adopted with no objection.

1251: Non-transferability of Voting Rights. Eight minutes adopted with no objection.

1251: Young Adult Award. Mr Blog moves to postpone indefinitely. Seconded.

1252: Mr McCarty says he has been opposed to YA awards in the past, but he thinks this should be debated. Applause for him.

1253: Question is called. Motion fails. YA is not postponed. We set debate time now. 14 minutes set.

1254: Motion to adjourn. Seconded. Meeting comes in just under the wire.

I’ll write a summary of this a bit later, time for my committee meeting. Thanks for following!

Categories
liveblog movie

Snowmageddon?

So the TV is on and my friencd just turned it to Syfy and Snowmageddon. I think the movie is already in progress. I don’t think it matters. A giant snowball just blew up a school bus and decapitated Santa.

LIVEBLOGGING COMMENCES.

(If only we’d started drinking. Damnit.)

1358: Commercials. A tiny woman is watching a movie on an iPhone. Bowls of fruits are covered by CGI mold.

1400: Back to the movie. Everyone keeps looking up at a mountain that’s shrouded with clouds. I think this must be their displeased god who is chucking giant snowballs with them. Aha. They are in Alaska, I think? The man just said something into the radio about Alaska. The man in flannel is also Park Ranger. You know this because his building says Park Ranger.

1402: Okay so if this actually does take place in Alaska, why is everything green at Christmas time? I thought that was when it was endless night and snow vampires ride moose through the streets.

1402: Norm’s hurt really bad. Apparently. In a green bus festooned with greenery. It has a live power line on it. Which means no one can get in, but somehow Norm and his friend can lean against the metal sides of the bus inside. Because SCIENCE.

1403: Just like that, it’s over. No, blonde girl. It has ONLY JUST BEGUN. We don’t care about your family drama. Give me more snowy death.

1403: The little boy is a fantasy nerd who plays games. CHARACTERIZATION.

1404: Are they implying that the mountain is a volcano? I mean, the ominous look at the fake volcano on the game board seems to imply that. But that mountain sure doesn’t look like a stratovolcano.

1405: What have we got? A helicopter crash, apparently. Two blonde ladies struggle against the elements. Everyone has mouth blood and a head wound because those are probably the easiest injury makeups to apply.

1407: If you don’t touch the bus and the ground at the same time, you can jump free! WHAT?

1408: Two women battle desperately against a seatbelt. Okay then. But hey, you’ve got a snazzy quilt now! AND NOW THE WRECKAGE IS ON FIRE.

1417: We are still trying to figure out where the fuck these people are located geographically. Disaster on the mountain, blah blah. Sad people with head wounds in snow. There’s a guy that’s showed up with a snow cat after maybe ten minutes, so apparently the super snow mountain is like RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the green valley where you only need a little flannel jacket and geography, how the fuck does it work.

1418: Someone is going to attempt to fix the power situation with a pair of wire cutters. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

1419: Oh, we have improved from wire cutters to a sledgehammer. BEST ELECTRICIAN. He whacks the power thing with the sledgehammer. SPARKS!

1421: DOOMY DOOM DOOM SCARY CLOSE UP OF GAME BOARD AND NOW THERE IS AN AVALANCHE

1421: hahaha the guys is driving the snowcat away from the avalanche. Oh thank fucking god the avalanche overtook them or I’d be pissed, it’s like driving a car away from a fucking pyroclastic cloud.

1422: AND NOW THE BUS IS ON FIRE BECAUSE OF COURSE IT IS. This is how this movie rolls. The situation is bad. Things happen. AND THEN IT IS ON FIRE.

1423: The bus has now exploded. I repeat. The bus has now exploded. Farewell, Norm. Norm’s scruffy friend appears to have been thrown free of the conflagration.

1430: You have been buried by an avalanche. You are not going to be able to just drive the snowcat out. Even if you alternate between forward and reverse.

1430: MORE OMINOUS BOARD GAME SHOTS IN THE RUSTIC CABIN OF DOOMY DOOM. Rudy, the nerd leaves a note saying he ruined everything, it’s all his fault. Sure. Why not. Maybe he wrote the script for this film.

1432: No one is coming to help the mysterious town. It’s like they dropped off the map. THAT’S BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THE FUCK YOU EVEN ARE, NOT EVEN THE WRITERS.

1436: The people who were on the giant mountain with the avalanche are, five minutes later, down in the valley that appears to be somewhere in the pacific northwest, maybe. There is no sense of distance or time in this thing. At all.

1442: Wandering around, looking for Rudy. Now it’s the people off the mountain looking for him.

1444: MAGIC SNOW GLOBE OF EVIL EVILNESS. SHAKE IT UP YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

1445: “You think this snow globe is cursed, or maybe the globe cursed the town.” Lines that only an actor could deliver straight-faced.

1456: And now a town meeting about the snow globe.

1458: ASK NOW FOR WHOM THE SNOW GLOBE TOLLS. Something is happening. Yes, did you hear the bass rumble of the soundtrack? HAHAHAHA WOODEN SPIKES ARE SHOOTING OUT OF THE GROUND. This is kind of amazing actually.

1459: Derrick is on the ground and bleeding. I would find this a more believable and awesome death if he was actually spitted on one of the spikes.

1500: Oh back to Rudy’s game. It’s based on Hephaestus and Pandora! Pandora’s box contained a snow globe apparently! Yeah! And now it needs to be tossed into the volcano but… where is there a fucking volcano.

1504: THE SHITTY CAR GOT SPIKED AHAHAHAHAHA okay apparently my liveblog has to end because I need to take a shower and we are going to Chuy’s. And Chuy’s? Chuy’s >>>>> shitty movie. But it’s been fun. I got to end on a hilarious note.

Categories
liveblog movie suffering for charity

Vurping my way through the 50 Shades of Grey trailer

0014: Creepy piano music starts. We see frumpy lady in the elevator, startling as the elevator goes ding. Wanna bet that by the end of the trailer she will look supersexyhotinatotallyconventionalway because creepy dude semen has magical wardrobe-improving powers?

0014: “At least everyone’s white. I know that sounds kind of weird, but no one should have to put up with this abuse but white people.” <– my Latina housemate, y’all.

0018: Everything in Mr. Grey’s office is white. Just like the cast.

0020: Sleek blond personal assistant lady in grey power suit reminds me of Portia in Better of Ted a bit, except that was funny and not fucking creepy.

0024: IMPOSING DOORS.

0036: I think this is supposed to be sexy? Apparently he’s intimidating? I guess that’s an intimidating giant hand, rendered in HD on my TV screen.

0036: By the way? Pepper Potts did a much better CEO office.

0045: Worst interviewer ever.

0047: Oh teehee Mr. Creepy Dude! I’m the empty vessel frumpy female character who is here just for you to mold into a thing you like! Teehee!

0051: “Look at me.” “I am.” Presumably not for the first time, I vomit slightly into my mouth.

0051: Also, the big reveal on what Mr. Creepy Dude looks like? He looks like a random creepy dude you might meet in college. You know. The kind you wouldn’t leave you drink unattended around. Presumably he is what is known as “hot” by… someone. I’m guessing.

0051: Also, I disapprove of his tie. With a charcoal gray suit, if he wants to make some kind of dominance statement he really should have gone for the pop of color.

0104: “I exercise control in all things, Miss Steel.” LOL (then wouldn’t you think he’d probably need to loosen the fuck up in the bedroom a bit?)

0111: This has got to be the least sexy supposed-to-be-read-as-dominant-kissing-in-an-elevator scene I have ever witnessed.

0113: OH LOOK HE GRABBED HER WRIST AND PULLED HER ARM UP OVER HER HEAD. SO DOMINANT. MUCH SEXY. VERY STILTED. WOW.

0113: BEYONCE, WHY

0114: Please note that the word “Phenomenon” quite literally only means “a thing that happened.” So yeah. This is sure a thing that happened. Sure is happening. Right now.

0115: Oh god send me help please. Or whiskey. Or pepto.

0118: He has a helicopter. Whee?

0119: As predicted, her clothing is becoming progressively more fashionable and her hair less messy.

0123: “I had a rough start on life. You should steer clear of me.” SOMEONE TURN ON THE MANPAIN SIGNAL.

0124: He’s jogging! In a grey hoodie! SUCH MANPAIN. YOU MUST RESCUE HIM, WOMAN WITH NO PERSONALITY! FIX HIM!

0127: GRRRRR HE IS TERRITORIAL ISN’T HE SO SEXYBARRRRRRF

0137: So like, the thing where he’s touching her leg under the table at dinner. This would be cute or even sexy but this entire trailer is shot like at any instant the officers from Law and Order: SVU are going to come busting through the door.

0139: Oh boy. Lip biting.

0144: He also owns a glider apparently. Double whee? HE IS A RICH, EXCEPTIONALLY CREEPY WHITE GUY. IN CASE YOU HAD NOT NOTICED. SO RICH. RICH AND FULL OF MANPAIN.

0153: “Enlighten me, then.” Could this line have been delivered with less emotion?

0202: The red room. Montage of BDSM stuff one would find doing a google search. Wants to be sexy. Fails.

0222: Bonus for the soft sighs played in the background, which would do nicely if this was a movie about serial killers, I think. Third acidic vurp.

I have no idea who the target audience was for this trailer, but I’m not it. There was nothing romantic or remotely sexy about it. Rather, it read like a tragic cautionary tale about a woman who is stalked, emotionally manipulated, and used by a rich guy who thinks he has it rough.

So fairly accurate to the source material, from what I can tell.

This nauseating creepfest might well destroy my liver next Valentine’s day if my readers hate me enough. Hahaha well considering how I generally feel about that holiday and the way abusive behavior is often depicted as romantic, the release date does seem appropriate, doesn’t it?

(PS: This one isn’t coming up for six months. Wanna make me suffer through something terrible much sooner?)

Categories
liveblog tv

[Liveblog] In Which I Watch the First Episode of Sleepy Hollow

Technically speaking, spoilers for the first episode follow.

As pilots go for shows, I felt like this one was incredibly well put together. The show knows what it wants to be, who the main characters are, and laid out the major over-arching plot and premise for the show. Ichabod (Tom Mison) and Abbie (Nicole Behari) had incredibly good chemistry considering that this was the first episode. The special effects are a bit cheesey, particularly whenever they bring in cgi, but they didn’t actually lean on that too much. I thought the writing was pretty good, the dialog was mostly snappy (though it got a bit stilted and you’re trying way too hard to be clever in a few places) and it ought to be fun the same way Supernatural is fun.

And that’s because the concept is silly in the same way Supernatural is delightfully silly. Same Book of Revelations quasi-Biblical stuff, which I know is a wonderful mine for supernatural fun. The Headless Horseman is no longer a nameless Hessian who is just pissed off he took a cannonball to the face; he’s now Death himself, doing his part to end the world. Ichabod is now linked to the Horseman with some sort of magic, and he was also married to a witch apparently, though she never told him. (You can tell she’s a real witch because later in the show she appears in one if his dreams wearing a low cut black dress.)

Considering one of the selling points touted for this show was that it had writers who previously brought us Transformers and the new Star Trek, my expectations were admittedly not high. But I certainly enjoyed the pilot more than I enjoyed any of the Transformers movies. And no one ran away from an explosion in slow motion, so there’s that too. (Okay, I know that one was probably Michael Bay’s fault, not that of the writers.) The characters certainly had enough dimension to keep me interested even if the tropes made me roll my eyes a little now and then. (Gosh, thank goodness Abbie’s partner wad a Scrapbooking Guy so we could hey the back story info dump out of the way.)

What I honestly struck me the most was I felt the show did make an effort to have a diverse cast. One of the main characters is a woman of color, and there were other prominent non-white characters. (This has been on my mind thanks to the recent #DiversityinSFF talk if nothing else.) And I’m really excited about Abbie as a character because Nicole Beharie gave her some depth right off the bat. I’m looking forward to seeing her develop more. I’d be interested to hear the thoughts of others on this point, for certain.

All right, Sleepy Hollow, you’ve got me. You had fun, and you have sassy characters and some silly supernatural bullshit. AND A HEADLESS GUY WITH AN ASSAULT RIFLE. That’s really all I expect out of a Monday night tv show. I’ll keep watching.

(Liveblog below)

Continue reading “[Liveblog] In Which I Watch the First Episode of Sleepy Hollow”
Categories
liveblog Uncategorized

Liveblog: Ring of Fire, Part 2

All right, I’m coming back for more. Same rules as usual, I’ll be updating the liveblog every five minutes or so. Unfortunately if you want to play at home, I can’t help you at the moment. I’m watching part two on the DVR.

I know you’re terribly sad to be missing this.

WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR INTREPID ACTORS, a volcano had just erupted because compressed magma (argh what even) and oil look EXACTLY THE SAME to their bullshit made-up technology. And now the entire world might explode because as we know, all volcanoes are actually connected, which is why every time a volcano erupts, every other one in the world does as well. (Wait, that’s not how it works?)

Oh, and the Yellowstone caldera is apparently now part of the Ring of Fire, which is news to everyone except for Dr. Cooper, the hot geologist with an aneurysm that is bad enough to be a dramatic plot device but apparently not bad enough to warrant emergency surgery.

Liveblog commencing in 10… 9… 8….

Continue reading “Liveblog: Ring of Fire, Part 2”
Categories
geology liveblog tv

Liveblog: Ring of Fire, Part 1

All right, I’m going to do it. Apparently it’s THE COUNTDOWN TO MELTDOWN. Or something.

Same rules as usual – I will update the liveblog every five minutes or so. If you’re reading this on LJ or Dreamwidth you’ll need to come to the blog at katsudon.net to see the updates most likely, though I think edits are now supposed to push through so we’ll see.

If you’d like to play at home, this likely stinker of a miniseries is on Reelz. Yes, with a Z.

Liveblog commencing in 10… 9… 8…

Continue reading “Liveblog: Ring of Fire, Part 1”
Categories
liveblog

Urge to liveblog… rising…

I mean. Look at it. Just look at it.

Gratuitous Mt. St. Helens reference? Check.

Ridiculous implication that somehow all volcanoes are connected and therefore THEY WILL ALL BLOW UP AT ONCE EHRMERGAHD? Check.

Gratuitous Yellowstone reference sure to guarantee a fresh crop of concerned people who will ask me when Yellowstone is going to blow up and kill us all? Check (Answer, by the way: “Soon” in geology speak. Which means chances are we’ll probably have killed our own species off before Yellowstone gets around to erupting.)

But best of all – THE ERUPTION OF A BRAZILLION VOLCANOES BLAMED ON OIL WELLS? CHECK BABY. CHECK CHECK CHECK.

Just. Wow.

Bonus for what appears to be a bomb being dropped into a magma chamber. Because everyone knows that the way you keep a composite volcano from exploding is… uh… blowing it up first.

Because science.

Well, there’s my incentive to buckle down and get lots of work done in the morning. Part 1 of this hot (har har) mess is repeating at 4 pm my time tomorrow, followed by part 2. I don’t know if I have the strength.

Categories
doctor who liveblog stuff in the uk

Liveblog of the 2012 Doctor Who Christmas Special

Yes, I am in England, which means I get to see it before most of my friends HAHAHAHA

Needles to say, SPOILERS.

1715 Snowflakes with sharp teeth. This feels so Nightmare Before Christmas!

1715 When an evil snowman with the voice of Sir Ian McKellen asks a creepy loner if he wants help, magical things are bound to happen.

1716 “I said I’d feed you. I didn’t say who to.” Even his grammar is evil.

1717 Scariest snowman ever. I love it. They have sharp teeth and angry eyes.

1719 SCREAM IT’S MADAM VASTRA. Who is wise to the Doctors terrible habit of picking up chicks everywhere he goes.

1720 And we have a show name! “Doctor? Doctor who?”

1720 Matt Smith in a top hat is a lovely sight. I approve.

1720 “Ice remembers.” I’m sensing a theme here.

1721 HAHAHA ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE BASED SHERLOCK HOLMES ON MADAM VASTRA. “A woman and her suspiciously intimate companion.” Eeeee and Vastra is married to Jenny so she resents the implication of impropriety.

1723 Alien snow? “When you see something new… what’s the next thing you look for?” “A grenade!” I love this little Sontaran (Strax) so very much. He’s my favorite “psychotic potato dwarf.”

1725 After all that time saving the Earth and the Earth doesn’t care. Aw, poor Doctor needs a hug.

1727 Don’t think about snowmen! And then they melt if you think about it hard enough, which seems a bit silly.

1730 The invisible staircase is very pretty. But also very impractical. Neat way to get to the TARDIS though, floating on a cloud.

1732 “Tomorrow the snow shall fall and so will mankind!” Oh Doctor Who, you are so silly. Never change.

1733 In-carriage costume change! And suddenly she’s gone to a prim governess. Apparently she’s Mary Poppins?

1735 TMW your employer calls you pretty and then says he just meant young. SUBTLE.

1737 “Do not attempt to escape or you will be obliterated. May I take your coat?” STRAX I LOVE YOU.

1738 Madam Vastra wants one word answers. Two questions like why. Oh but she is good.

1740 And then an even tougher one. Oh my god Madam Vastra is so cool. Explain danger and why he should help in only one word. The answer of “pond” is a real punch in the stomach, ain’t it Doctor.

1741 LOL AND THEN THE DOCTOR PRETENDS TO BE SHERLOCK HOLMES. And he is so utterly terrible at it.

1741 …what is that pun even. No. Bad Doctor.

1742 “Shut up I’m making deductions it’s very exciting.” OH GOSH.

1744 “Madam Vastra wanted to know if you needed any grenades… she might have said help.” STRAX I LOVE YOU.

1744 “I’m the clever one. You’re the potato one… you’re not clever or funny and you’ve got tiny little legs!”

1745 Even the Doctor’s own hand doesn’t listen to him.

1747 An evil governess made of ice. That’s a new one.

1747 Not sure how I feel about the Doctor and hand puppets.

1749 “It’s okay I’m your governess’ gentleman friend and we’ve just been upstairs uh… uh… kissing!” YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, DOCTOR.

1749 “Hello I am a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife.” Maid: SCREAMS Us: Squeal with delight.

1752 Wow, getting the kissing on early I see.

1753 Stupid is the Doctor’s thing. That’s amazing.

1754 “My eyes are always front.” “Mine aren’t.” And thus Clara says the thing all women have been thinking ever.

1754 The staircase is taller on the inside. Oh that is clever.

1755 Now sure how I feel about the redo on the decoration for the TARDIS. The central column makes me think of a carousel.

1756 Aha callback to the other episode the actress was in. Well we knew Steven Moffat would desperately find some link. Guess we’ll see it. Wow, and he’s already giving her a key? That was quick. “Me, giving in.” Awwww.

1757 And apparently we were so busy being cute we totally forgot about the evil ice governess and… there goes Clara really? Well that was even quicker. They’ve introduced this woman twice and killed her both times. Yeesh.

1759 Oh Strax. You are the most comforting.

1805 Ah, the return of the memory worm. That’s fun.

1805 Somehow I doubted it would be that easy. It’s Sir Ian McKellen for goodness sake.

1806 …winter is coming, really? I think nerdpanties everywhere just got wetter.

1808 An all it took was a whole family crying on Christmas Eve? That’s a bit… yeah.

1810 Another reference to souffle girl.

1811 The woman keeps dying! “Remember, we shall meet again.” Oh, that’s kind of fun. “Watch me run.” Yeah this could be an interesting series. Wonder if they’ll kill her in every episode like Kenny.

Categories
liveblog movie

Liveblog of Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

So apparently this is a thing. Which I have been lucky enough to find on British television at 0200, and how can you say no to cannibal Santa Claus?

We join our show, already in progress. Any mistakes in detail, please forgive because it’s early in the morning and the movie is subtitled in English with dialog in Finnish.

Prior to this, an ugly American archaeologist on top of a mountain found something in a bit of ice and made a stirring speech to an incredibly unimpressed excavation crew in yellow hard hats as two little kids look on. Shortly after one of them, a little boy, looks the most awesome Christmas book ever which involves line drawings of Santa sitting on a pile of skulls.

The little boy is worried and runs around in an ugly red sweater and a pair of navy blue underpants and has an odd conversation with his father, who is butchering a pig as they speak. It’s quite surreal.

And now… go!

0215 There are a lot of very lovely shots of snowmobiles traveling serenely over a snowy landscape back and forth between Cannibal Santa Mountain.

0215 Herd of dead reindeer. Man with ear flap hat and large beard #1: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas indeed, sir.

0216 Apparently this is the work of Russian wolves, who are badass motherfuckers. Hungry badass motherfuckers, since it’s 433 dead reindeer.

0218 Underwear boy pokes up one of the corpses with a stick to reveal a humanoid footprint. He’s already seen pictures of cannibal Santa walking barefoot through the snow. “He must have been hungry.” YEAH NO SHIT KID. How he is not shitting himself in terror already I do not know.

0222 “The real Santa was different. The Coca-Cola Santa is just a hoax.” That’s kind of beautiful. And accompanied by a picture of evil Santa putting a screaming child into a cauldron.

0223 This kid is an amazing researcher. He has the whole 411 on how evil Santa ended up buried in a giant hill.

0224 Ugly sweater kid is also, I will note, constantly walking around with a hunting rifle longer than he is tall slung across his back. And is now wearing hockey pads. His dad is manly enough to wear a pink floral apron and bake his son cookies. They’re kind of an awesome little family.

0226 For the record, Ugly sweater kid’s name is Pietari. I will probably just call him Ugly Sweater Kid, or USK for short.

0229 The logos for the excavation site look like Christmas wreaths. I find this incredibly amusing. And of course, the crew is American. And a man with thick calves in tights kills them all, sending their hardhats scattering.

0232 USK and his dad have matching guns. I am very amused that USK runs around with this rifle (actually I think it’s a pump-action shotgun? But I fail at guns) and under one arm he has a stuffed animal. Anyway, there was a pig head hanging out as bait and now it’s going. USK and his dad go to investigate, and the dad sees a bloody human hand, then immediately pulls the, “It’s nothing, but you can’t see it.” This never works.

0234 USK’s stuffed animal is named Vuppe by the way.

0235 This movie is giving me a very strange impression of the Finnish. Mostly that they are very stern and shout a lot.

0235 USK’s dad helps another man drag a corpse in a tarp into the slaughterhouse. The other man is dressed like Santa. Maybe this is a Finnish thing too. But apparently he’s not evil cannibal Santa, he’s just someone that accidentally killed a drifter on his property in a wolf pit. This is a horror movie, guys. Never kill the drifter.

0236 Oh, apparently the guy dressed as Santa is playing the part for Christmas. Merry Christmas, USK’s dad – you get a corpse in a tarp.

0237 They’re going to butcher the vagrant, but he’s still breathing. Oooh, I bet that’s cannibal Santa. He can smell USK, who is hanging around outside. And this is not the sort of thing you want your kid to see holy shit what is wrong with these guys.

0239 This movie is making me want to go vegetarian if I ever end up in Finland, you realize. (I kid, I kid.)

0239 So far all the car chases have been very low speed because everything is covered in snow. I find this amusing.

0241 The town has been plagued by a mysterious series of radiator thefts.

0242 USK’s friend seems to have been replaced by some kind of super creepy blackened and shriveled up doll thing. USK greets this with a complete lack of surprise and concern. Maybe this is something that happens often.

0245 Protip: don’t lean in close to the mysterious, stinky, creepy drifter when he’s whispering something. No matter what happens next, you will not like it.

0246 “There’s something weird about him [creepy cannibal Santa].” “He’s a foreigner.” HAH.

0247 USK tries to call all of his friends on the phone and they are all missing. He is still remarkably calm about this.

0248 USK then draws the perfectly logical conclusion that his dad needs to spank him immediately, so that he will be absolved of naughtiness and, I assume, safe from the evil cannibal that just ate all his friends. He’s upset enough now that he’s shed a few tears.

0249 Uh oh, USK goes into the slaughterhouse and evil Santa reacts sort of like a cat hearing a can of tuna being opened. Well, but in slow motion.

2051 They tie up evil cannibal Santa and hang him from the ceiling. He swings slowly back and forth, chains creaking in the most eerie fashion possible, and they just sit there and stare at him, passing a plate of cookies around. What is this even.

0255 So apparently they are going to take evil cannibal Santa back to the excavation site to try to get money for him. Because the Americans want him back for a mysterious reason.

0256 The evil American that wants Santa is tiny and totally looks like Ebenezer Scrooge. If Ebenezer Scrooge had a helicopter. And a fake quasi-American accent.

0257 The cannibal Santa excavation company is named Subzero Inc. FINISH HIM.

0258 They put cannibal Santa in a cage. And for some reason dressed him in the Santa robes.

0259 And then they let USK wander off on his own. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

0259 Uh oh. Apparently the weird drifter guy is actually one of Santa’s elves. The real Santa is still out there. And, “He’s going to find out who’s naughty or nice.”

0300 Santa has an entire army of weird drifters with pickaxes. One of them killes Ebenezer Scrooge. The Finnish men smartly run away and find USK somehow.

0301 Oh there are all the radiators, and even a bunch of stoves. They’re defrosting real Santa, who is still in a block of ice. Aha, and there are all the kids, in burlap bags in front of the ice block.

0302 I am impressed by the ability of these sturdy Finnish men to pick up Stoves which were a second ago shimmering with heat and carry them over to barricade the door.

0302 It’s okay, everyone! USK HAS A PLAN!

0303 “It’s either me or Santa. I suggest Santa.” And then he yanks down a tarp, revealing boxes of explosives. USK you are a badass little motherfucker.

0304 Hahaha they distract the weird drifter elves with cookies!

0305 Suddenly one of the men can pilot a helicopter. They pile all the kids in a net and airlift them. Hilariously, most of the kids are still in the burlap bags, kicking and crying with their faces covered.

0306 USK is just hanging off the side of the net dangling under the helicopter like a little badass.

0309 I’m starting to feel like USK is going to grow up to be Bruce Willis. But Finnish.

0310 He stands bravely in the face of a charging horde of pale, bearded, naked elves. Lookit him go.

0311 The men blow up the hangar (and cannibal Santa) as they drive away. “And happy fucking New Year.” Someone should be putting their sunglasses on as they do so.

0314 So what do they do with the horde of scary bearded men? Wash them off and teach them to be Santas! Then put them in wooden crates as Rare Exports and ship them all across the globe. And now you know where your mall Santas came from.

…well. That sure was a thing. It had some humorous bits to it, but was mostly so understated I couldn’t get into it the way I could with other funny “horror” movies like Dead Snow. Though this was more of a dark action than a horror as well.

Categories
abortion liveblog suffering for charity

Liveblog of 180

Okay, as promised. You guys are awesome and donated over $200 to the Red Cross, so I’m here to take my punishment. I’m going to watch the Ray Comfort “documentary” 180, a copy of which was left on my buddy David’s windshield one day when he was parked near a Planned Parenthood. (That this particular Planned Parenthood is not a location that offers abortion services is neither here nor there.)

If for some perverse and awful reason you would like to play along at home. You can actually watch this entire thing on youtube. Sorry, can’t bring myself to embed this one on my blog.

If you want to watch this update live, you’ll have to go to the blog page and reload it every few minutes. I’ll update entries elsewhere once I’m done with the liveblog.

T-minus seven minutes to suffering time.

This is the cover of the DVD, by the way. I’m thinking there’s some false advertisement to the “hottest movie” on the internet thing. I’m pretty sure porn could be characterized as hotter, for example. And any bootleg of a movie that involves Tom Hiddleston will also win on the hot factor.

But apparently my world is going to be rocked for 33 minutes. Come at me, bro.

1300 – The DVD menu music is a dramatic piano riff that sounds like something you’d expect in, say, The Sixth Sense while there’s a montage going on, or perhaps Bruce Willis walking around and looking really concerned. It ends with the sound of a heartbeat. Hoo boy.

1302 – I’m hitting play now. I just want it to be noted that I will apparently do anything for the Red Cross. Think of me fondly, farewell cruel world!

1303 – The movie starts with a black haired girl who apparently does not know who Adolf Hitler is. What in the fuck. Where did he find this person?

1303 – Ray Comfort is Jewish and deeply concerned about stock footage of Nazis.

1304 – This man has the most nasal, squeaky Australian accent I have ever heard in my life. He sounds as if he’s been huffing helium between takes. Not sure if this is going to make my job more difficult or more palatable.

1305 – Ray Comfort is concerned about people forgetting the Holocaust. He gives some background on Holocaust education in Germany and other countries in Europe.

1306 – Oh look, he’s managed to dig up more people who don’t know who Hitler is! Seriously? I wonder how many people he had to ambush on the street to find these. Because ffs, anyone who has ever been on the internet knows who the fuck Hitler is.

1307 – I know this is jumping ahead since I know what the video is about, but basically this is a 33-minute-long Godwin, right?

1307 – Steve the Neo-Nazi. He has a startling mohawk, which is blue. I don’t think Hitler would have gone for that, to be honest.

1307 – Apparently Christianity is a Jewish trick but Steve the Neo-Nazi is not fooled because he’s Greek. This is a quote. But make no mistake, Steve is an awful human being. An awful, awful human being. And I do think Ray Comfort deserves a small salute for pointing out that Steve and people like him are awful, and also completely incoherent hate spewing horrors.

1309 – Okay. Still asking people who Hitler is. Some of them know. Maybe he ran out of people didn’t know since he already found like the only twelve on the planet who have been living in a box their entire lives.

1310 – The piano riff starts back up as he talks to another awful human being who believes the world is run by Jews. I assume this is to point out to us that this is both Important and Very Bad. Unlike Steve the Horrible Mohawked Neo-Nazi, this guy’s face is blurred out. An awful person with a sense of shame, perhaps?

1311 – I’ll give Ray Comfort this. He’s figured out that just letting the awful people talk pretty much makes his point for him that they are awful. However, I’m still waiting for this to get around to abortion so I can start beating my head against my desk.

1313 – Okay, next question he’s asking people on the street – if you could kill Hitler before WWII, would you? Either by shooting him as an adult or killing his pregnant mom. It’s an interesting ethical question, one which I have a feeling will not be done justice in this film. For some strange reason.

1314 – More stock footage showing the dead of the Holocaust. Starting to feel like those awful PETA videos where it’s intercut with footage of slaughterhouses.

1315 – Well, at least he’s not claiming that Hitler was an Atheist. Ray Comfort touches very lightly on some of Hitler’s religious views (which are very complicated and weird and wikipedia can get you started) that he’s plainly cherry-picked and then calls him an idolater, which is… different.

1319 – More horrifying stock footage. I’ll note that some of it is actually photographs that have had a “old time film effect” run over it. There is also now a quote from a witness to the carnage read in a rather thick, nearly comical German accent, except the content isn’t comical so I feel kind of gross about it.

1320 – Back to people on the street and now Ray Comfort asks if the people would comply with Nazi orders to bury Jews alive and aid in the Holocaust. If I pretend I don’t know the point of the video, I can find it interesting, though I do have to wonder why he’s so stuck on Nazis if he wants to talk about abortion.

1323 – “You value human life? How do you feel about abortion?” OH AND THERE WE GO. Because burying adults and children alive or shooting them is totally the same as a woman having an abortion.

1324 – The music would like you to know this is very sad.

1325 – “Finish this sentence for me – it’s okay to kill a baby in the womb when…” Oh Ray Comfort, you are totally gross.

1325 – So apparently having an abortion is equivalent to blowing up a building that may or may not have people inside?  What?

1326 – Wow, a girl that had an abortion and says she doesn’t feel bad about it.

1327 – More equating burying Jewish people alive with abortion. Gross, Ray Comfort. Gross.

1327 – The safest place on Earth is in a mother’s womb? Maybe we should store jewelry in there!

1328 – So this is the thing Ray Comfort. You don’t get to decide for other people. Fuck off.

1329 – Oh boy and now he’s saying you can’t value human life and believe women have a right to choose. Well, we all know women aren’t actually human life, right? Argh I want to punch this man in the face so much.

1330 – Girl with sunglasses, you are awesome.

1330 – Wow Ray Comfort you are a gross human being. So very gross. Wow and then there’s shots of people being like oh okay I guess a woman choosing what will be done with her own body is the same as Hitler “choosing” to kill Jews.

1332 – Yes girl on the street, it sounds bad when he puts it in those words because it’s a disingenuous false dichotomy pushed on you by a gross person.

1333 – Well, I shouldn’t be surprised that suddenly everyone in Ray Comfort’s video gets argued around by his amazing logical fallacy skills.

1334 – Whee the American Holocaust! Gross, Ray Comfort. Gross.

1335 – Apparently we have low moral standards because we’ve freed ourselves from the Ten Commandments what?

1335 – No Ray Comfort, this is not an honest discussion you’re having to change people’s minds.

1336 – OH HEY GUYS I FOUND THE ATHEIST IN THE VIDEO! It’s… STEVE THE NEO-NAZI. Well, glad we got that out of the way.

1337 – “Have you ever looked at a guy with lust?” “Nah, I’m gay.” Wow, you are awesome, lesbian lady.

1338 – So apparently people don’t want to believe in God because we’re afraid of him because we lie and blaspheme and commit adultery by being lustful. Oh my goodness I just rolled my eyes so hard it hurt. Because people who don’t believe in Hell are totally afraid of it? LOGIC YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

1341 – There is stuff written on my heart? I think I might need some medical attention.

1342 – Now we’re just into sheer proselytizing and I’m falling asleep. Can we just get back to the Nazis?

1343 – When is a raven like a writing desk? When Jesus is like a parachute.

1344 – Aaaaaaaaand we’re back to Nazis.

1344 – Talking about people visiting the concentration camps and being horrified. And then he suggests visiting an abortion clinic. Because they are so like in every way. (/sarcasm)

1345 – Ray Comfort would like everyone to see his documentary. And buy his book, Hitler, God, and the Bible. You know. Just putting that out there.

1346 – And we’re done with a dramatic string piece. Well, this wasn’t so much funny as infuriating, since I just wanted to reach through the screen and shake people. This is a bullshit argument that equates very different things in a false, emotionally manipulative, and disingenuous manner. A woman making a decision about what goes on within her own body is in no way equatable with a crazy, awful person taking power and ordering the death of millions of people who were born and living their lives. And frankly, I think his schtick is a pretty shameful appropriation of the suffering of the Jewish people.

HEY RAY COMFORT WANTS TO TALK ABOUT NAZIS!

Needless to say, 33 minutes later my world is un-rocked. I really could have lived without seeing a bunch of ignorant people get unmercifully Godwinned by a giant Australian weasel with a pouch full of fallacies.

I think I’ll do a different liveblog maybe today or next week to cleanse my palate. Maybe Metal Tornado will get a whirl after all.