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shakespeare tom hiddleston

Coriolanus: Adventures in Aggressive Furniture Arranging

Back from Coriolanus. All I can think right now:

DRAMATIC MUSIC CUE! QUICK, REARRANGE THE FURNITURE.

Okay I’m sorry. I know. I KNOW. It’s a very serious play. And it is. There is a definite non-zero quantity of fake blood that gets used, to great effect. But goddammit people, I’m only human.

First off: these tickets were acquired by queueing at the box office in the pre-dawn depths of the morning. The tickets I got via Barclay’s Front Row are for two weeks hence, at which point Mike isn’t going to be with me. And Mike likes him some Shakespeare too, so he wanted to try to see the play while we were in the UK for Christmas. I wasn’t sure if it’d happen since I’d been getting a kind of scary impression about the queue. Well, just to add a data point, we walked over to the Donmar and got there around 6:50. We were something like 17th or 18th in line, and by the time we got in to the box office there were still a couple of returns seats available in each show for the day, and what sounded like a decent amount of standing room. The biggest problem was really that it was cold, so if you want to try to nab tickets and don’t mind standing in line for about three hours, you ought to be good to go. Just wear some wool socks and bring a book to read. (And if you go to the Cafe Nero nearby to get a tea to warm your hands, tell Bruno the adorable trainee barista I said hello.)

I’m feeling very scattered about the play in general for several reasons. I’m familiar with Coriolanus, but not as much as I am with, say, any of the Henries, so I spent half the time just keeping up and rolling around in the language like a dog in a nice grassy yard. And during intermission while I was waiting in the toilet queue someone who recognized me from the internet came up and said hi, and told me she likes my work and that just kind of filled me with so much squee I still haven’t recovered. GAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Anyway. Coriolanus. I’m still really thinking about the set design, the sound, the costumes, all that. For all I joke about the aggressive rearranging of the furniture, that was used to great effect throughout the play. I’m less sure about the bit at the beginning, where everyone was on stage, seated at the back. It was nice in that it let us put faces to characters–which is very helpful since the characters have unfamiliar names, and many start with the same letter (eg: Volumnia, Valeria, and Virgilia, whom I ultimately gave up on and just kept mental track of as Mom, Wife, and Their Ladyfriend) which is the sort of thing that normally makes editors scream at writers but Shakespeare can do whatever the fuck he wants; he’s dead, and he’s Shakespeare for god’s sake.

Some of the sound (particularly musical cues) I found kind of distracting in a bad way, and some of it was very interesting, like this staticky sound that I want to try to track when I get to see this play again at a later date because I have thoughts. But I actually liked the moments of complete silence scattered throughout the play best; they were used to incredible, often heart-wrenching effect.

The costumes took some getting used to, since it was this kind of funky mishmash of very modern looking stuff with added leather armor bits, but that’s the kind of thing I can roll with. I’m not sure if I’ll ever forgive Coriolanus for causing me to have the following conversation with Mike, however:
Mike: Okay, so Coriolanus’s wife. Just… what was with her shoes?
Me: …what do you mean?
Mike: Just, they looked like they wanted to have laces like boots, but they didn’t. Why is that?
Me: I don’t know, I guess they were designed that wa–wait a fucking minute, are you asking me about women‘s shoes? Oh for fuck’s sake.

And of course the chairs. They were basically 85% of the set, and for all that I’m giggling like an immature little shit about them now, when you’re in the moment and just riding along with the actors it’s excellent stuff. The chairs do a lot of actual furniture duty, but they also play walls, shields, objects waved in the air in celebration, etc. They got kicked and thrown around by the actors, and I can say with all conviction that I saw no stunt chairs being used. Hardest working furniture in London, hands down. That the chairs didn’t get a credit in the program book really makes the entire exercise a sham.

Okay Rachael stop being an asshole now

Mixed feelings on some of that or no, it was very visually interesting. And of course since it was the Donmar (god I love that theater), we were all practically sitting on the stage anyway so you could see everything.

I’m going to go on and on randomly about story and character a bit now, so… spoilers I guess? But come on, it’s not like we all don’t already know how the play ends. Or at least you know if you’ve read it, which I always recommend you do first when you’re going in for Shakespeare unless your bard-fu is strong. (And if it is that strong, you’ve probably already read it, eh?)

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shakespeare

Oh and this other thing happened [MEGASQUEE]

I will be seeing Coriolanus. At the Donmar Warehouse. With some of my amazing friends. My squee runneth over.

This is entirely due to the efforts of Sera The Great And Powerful, who organized a group of us to call and hit the Barclay’s front row website for the 10GBP tickets when they were released. I called and was breathing heavily at my laptop as if sheer willpower could make the online queue cough up tickets.

What ultimately worked for me was calling. I got through when there were still tickets, and so did my husband actually, though his customer service rep initially grabbed tickets for him on the wrong day, and by the time they’d gotten that sorted out, everything was gone. I managed to speak with my rep in a reasonable, adult fashion despite the fact that I was dancing in place like a three-year-old hyped up on pixie stix.

I thought I’d take down a few notes here, if you’re trying to get tickets for the show, since I actually had tried twice before and had no luck and the advice would have been nice.

  1. Do not be a dick to the customer service people. Ever. Just don’t. (Not a mistake I made, obviously, but a very important point.)
  2. Consider enlisting a friend or two to help with the queue roulette. (Particularly if they can go with you! No brainer.)
  3. Remember that there is a limit of two tickets per person and plan accordingly.
  4. The tickets release on Monday at 10 AM GMT, two weeks before the week in which the shows occur. So today (the 23rd) was for the shows January 6-12. If you go to the Barclay’s Front Row website, it’ll tell you which dates are coming up.
  5. Calling seemed to work better than online. I honestly never had any luck with the online, but it never hurts to try both if you are capable of basic multitasking.
  6. For the website, you need to be online and watching it around 9:45GMT. As soon as the link to ATG at the bottom goes live, hit it, then reload the as you approach 10 AM until it tells you that you’re actually in queue. Which is, as far as I know, all you can do other than burn offerings to whatever dark and terrible god you think might give half a shit about Shakesepeare. (Azathoth? Not known for his love of the bard.) Then you just wait and see if there are any tickets available once you’re out of queue. Click like the wind!
  7. For the box office, call about five minutes or so before 10AM under the assumption that you will be put on hold. If you call too early and get picked up before 10AM, they’re not going to sell you the tickets.
  8. Know which show (date and time!) you want and have a couple on backup so you can tell the rep which ones to look for.
  9. Cross your fingers.
  10. And do not ever, ever be a dick to the customer service people. Did I mention this before? Because it’s important. (Not because this will magically help you get tickets, but because it will generally mean you are a good human being and that should be more than enough incentive.)

And then I was so incredibly excited, I had to have a cup of tea and do push ups. Mike and I are actually going to try to wait in line for returns when we get back into London this coming weekend, because that will be Mike’s only chance to get in to see the play. We’ll see how that turns out.

In the meantime, I’m going to re-read Coriolanus. (Hm, wonder if it’s one of the ones Mike’s parents have the Arden Shakespeare for…) Then I can be one of those There’s No Pleasing Some People nerds and grumble about what got cut. (Just kidding.) (Mostly.) (I had a nice little grumble about Henry V after all, even with all the squee.) I’ve gotten to see a show at the Donmar before, Roots (thanks to the ever-wonderful Kate), and the theater is fantastic. I can’t wait.

Still feeling like this, even seven hours later: