I’m sure getting a whiff off of this:
Marriage should be limited to unions of a man and a woman because they alone can “produce unplanned and unintended offspring,” opponents of gay marriage have told the Supreme Court.
So let me get this straight… one of the strongest arguments the opponents of gay marriage think they have at this point is that only heterosexual couples can have “oops” babies? Seriously? And gay people don’t need marriage because they have to plan their babies? I just. I can’t even.
First, I’m sure given the glorious spectrum of human sexuality, this line of argument is not true anyway. For example, John Scalzi pointed out on Twitter that:
Polyamorous bisexuals in same-sex open marriages might wish to dispute this line of “reasoning”
And of course, infertile couples, childfree couples, etc etc etc. But I don’t think we even have to go that far. We should just take a step back and gaze in wonder at the utter, majestic stupidity of that line of argument. We’re boiling the supposedly inviolate and super special institution of state-sanctioned marriage down to trying to get people to legally hitch themselves together because of accidental pregnancy? Because accidental pregnancies out of wedlock place a burden on society but ones within a marriage can’t? (…how’s the weather on your planet?)
Instead, they argue that it is reasonable for the law to steer opposite-sex couples toward marriage, including by giving them extra benefits. “It was rational for Congress to draw the line where it did,” Clement said, “because the institution of marriage arose in large measure in response to the unique social difficulty that opposite-sex couples, but not same-sex couples, posed.”
I just… what? I’m guessing they’re still hammering the oops baby point here, which doesn’t really paint marriage in such a great light. Oh look, marriage is an easy solution to unintended pregnancy – how about rape as well? This is something that still happens in the world and is horrifying. Or maybe I just missed the bit in world history where they told us about how same-sex couples have always had it easy and opposite-sex couples faced unique social difficulties of other sorts.
If all you can come up with once you’ve stripped way the overt homophobia is something that brain-lockingly dumb, maybe it’s time to just quietly pack up the briefcase and go home.
In another part of their brief, they argue for the high court to stand back and to let the “democratic process” resolve the dispute over gay marriage. Both note that voters in several states recently approved same-sex marriage, and opinion polls report that most Americans now favor it.
So basically “please let the dinosaurs draw it out in a lingering, painful state-by-state extinction.”
History called. You’re on the wrong side.