Categories
suffering for charity

Want to make me watch San Andreas?

A lot of people have been asking me about this one. Come on, it can’t be that bad, can it?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA ha ha ha haaaaa

Well. Uh. I like the Rock? And the geologist isn’t wearing a white labcoat? And watching the Rayleigh wave go through LA is… kind of cool, even if it’s moving way too slowly?

Oh, who am I kidding. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE A TSUNAMI EVEN AGH Deep breaths. This one must be aiming for a spot on the DVD shelf o’ bad geology, right between Volcano and The Core. Fuck you, my liver can’t take this right now.

So here’s the deal. Donate money to charity, and I will watch this movie and write a review of some sort for it. Raise more, and you get my notes. Don’t raise enough money, and I won’t go, but charities still get money, so yay! The price I’m setting on this turd is $400 $300. (You get the Rock’s biceps discount.) The movie comes out on May 29, but I have company from out of town that week so will be unlikely to see it until June 1 at the earliest. So that gives you nearly two weeks to come up with the money if this is going to be a thing.

Accepted charities are:

 

As usual, honor system. Donate, then contact me via social networking site, email, or messenger pigeon to tell me how much you donated. If you don’t get some kind of acknowledgment from me, I didn’t get the message. (If you prefer your donation to remain anonymous, please tell me that too.)

Progress: $155/$300

THANK DAMN YOU

  1. Zig Zag Claybourne ($20)
  2. Emily ($10)
  3. Madred ($100)
  4. Pat ($25)

ETA: Sorry to say, but the time for this has passed and the goal wasn’t met. So I don’t have to see the movie (Yay!) and charity got $155 (YAY) so I think we all still win. :)

Categories
charity suffering for charity

Give money to charity, make Rachael suffer.

So, I keep seeing trailers for this:

And it makes me:

wpid-IMG_20140210_225202_787.jpg
Seriously fuck this movie and the pyroclastic flow outrunning horse it rode in on.

 

So here is your golden opportunity to do good in the world AND make Rachael suffer horribly.

PROGRESS TOWARD EARLIER ULTIMATE SUFFERING: $120/200

PROGRESS TOWARD ULTIMATE SUFFERING: $100/100 STAGE COMPLETE I’M SEEING THE STINKIN’ MOVIE

IF you all collectively donate at least $100 across the following charities by February 21, I will go watch Pompeii on Monday, February 24. (I’m pushing it back to Monday because I’ll be at ConDFW all that weekend.) And I will write a bitchyass review about it and post it here.

Charities for this round of suffering:

This one is honor system; just go directly to the charity and donate, then come back and leave me a comment, send me a tweet, etc to let me know how much you donated. I’ll do a running tally.

But what’s a fundraiser without some stretch goals?

If you all raise $200, I will go see it opening day, even though I’ll be in Dallas. Because you’ll have proven to me how thirsty you are to taste my existential (and scientific) anguish. I will hunt down a movie theater and do it.

If you all raise $300, I will take NOTES and provide a quasiliveblog in addition to bitchy-ass reviewing. (Sorry, true liveblog is impossible; they tend to frown on you having a laptop out in the movie theater.)

AND

If you all raise $400, I will see it in 3D. That is how fucking serious I am about this. (You have no idea how much I hate 3D in movies.)

DO YOUR WORST. I DARE YOU.

You evil bastards THANK YOU:
JRD Skinner ($5)
Murdoch ($20)
Ingvar ($35 w/ $35 gift match [not counted])
Sin ($40)
Ay Bee (@geckospots) ($10)
Shae ($10)