Categories
filmmaking

Where the f*** is Rachael now?

I am the fuck in the UK, near Maidstone to be more exact. Want to know what I’m doing? Read more about day one here!

Categories
tom hiddleston trip report

Hello from London

It’s been a busy, busy several days. I’m in London right now, more project stuff. I helping with this so much I can’t even tell you.

I also saw Coriolanus for a second time with friends. I’m glad I had the opportunity, since there’s so much more to pick out on a second round, particularly if you sit in a different part of the theater. Still impressed that Tom Hiddleston has brought such depth to Martius the prideful douchebag. Still want to write Aufidius and Coriolanus slash, but I just couldn’t swing the iambic pentameter. On second viewing, Birgitte Hjort Sørensen’s performance really leaped out at me more. There’s so much she does with just looks and very subtle facial expressions. But everyone in that play is good, we already knew that. (Rochenda Sandall is definitely my favorite part of the ensemble cast.)

One thing that did strike me on this go around was, like in Hamlet, just how much subtle funny there was in the play. What makes those lines funny is entirely the delivery–particularly since the jokes sometimes aren’t as apparent to the people in the audience today as they might have been back when the play was written. The timing and tone of it was all excellent. And it makes me wonder why Shakespeare movies often seem intent on sucking the bits of humor out of the play. It’s a nice relief from the feeling of impending doom inevitably comes with knowing the play is a tragedy.

Oh, and the chairs still steal the show. I wish I could have had my picture taken with one. I was all set to make that incredibly awkward request, but couldn’t track down the right person to ask in the mess of people after the show. Sadness. I also did make the attempt to queue for the stage door after because I was so bereft after being kept from the chairs I thought that might fill the gaping void in my heart. But wait, that would violate my life goal of never actually meeting Tom Hiddleston! Fear not, gentle readers. The queue got cut off somewhere like 5-10 people in front of me. The fabric of space and time is still safe, as we passed quietly by like ships in the night.

London (but probably not Tom Hiddleston. Probably.) has now destroyed my right shoe. There’s a crack across the sole, and it made for an incredibly squishy and uncomfortable walk back to the flat from my dinner with Ingvar. (Ingvar showed me mercy this time and did not ply me with alcohol.) I think instead of buying another set of Pumas (though there is a Puma shop in London, I checked) I’m going to just go whole hog and get a pair of Doc Martens. I honestly think they’ll be more comfortable for all the walking I’m doing anyway. I don’t think the thin soles of Pumas have necessarily made the plantar fasciitis in my right foot worse, but I honestly don’t think it’s helping, either.

So tomorrow, there will be shoes. I am also planning to take the train down to Waterloo station for the sole purpose of taking a ride on the Waterloo & City line, because Ingvar told me that’s the deepest of all the lines (and it literally has only two stations) and that sounded kind of cool. I have a feeling it will be one of those things that sounded much cooler than it will actually turn out to be, but I’ll bring a book and look forward to riding seven thousand escalators up to the surface so I can blinking, step into the sun…

(Join with me now: Because there’s more to see than can every be seen, more to do than can ever be done…)

Also, you should know I have started a new writing project. Its title is simply Tea. And that’s all I’m saying about it for now. I’m just going to boil in my own amusement.

Categories
publishing writing

The Kobo UK splashzone (dude, where’s my ebook?)

Okay, so a thing happened: WH Smith has taken their site offline after discovering that there’s some grody self-published erotica in its catalog. As of this time, they’re still offline. WH Smith apparently partners with Kobo. Oh and, from the WH Smith holding page:

Our website will become live again once all self published eBooks have been removed and we are totally sure that there are no offending titles available. When our website goes back online it will not display any self published material until we are completely confident that inappropriate books can never be shown again.

Now, obviously the UK and US have very different laws in regards to porn, and I honestly have no idea what those differences are. (Though apparently, this isn’t an issue of things being legal or not even? Great.) Nor am I at all interested in writing a bombastic American defense of porn that makes people vomit into their mouths because first amendment and stuff. Not really the topic up for debate here.

What has my attention is that apparently, Kobo has pulled all of their self-published books for now. Not just the erotica ones. No regard for genre. See this post on the Digital Reader. And in the splash zone has been titles by my the small publisher I’m with–so possibly others as well.

I’m currently in the UK, so I get the UK kobo site by default even when I click through on my American Kobo links. Time for fun with screenshots! So here’s The Ugly Tin Orrery;

And I don’t currently exist in general as a searchable author. (Full disclosure: I have never had a reason to look for myself on the Kobo UK site before, so I can’t tell you with 100% certainty that I was searchable before… but the existence of the above “currently unavailable” book is a thing that makes me go hmmmm.)

And while I’m posting screenshots, just for the record I did once exist on the WH Smith site. (Google cache is a magical thing.)

So we’ll see if I’m still around after they bring their website back up.

Anyone in the US want to check and see if I still exist on Kobo there? I’m curious due to some comments on the Digital Reader post. ETA: A couple people have let me know that I’m still available on Kobo in the US, so that’s a relief. Thank you!

I don’t write rapey incest bestiality erotica. I don’t write erotica at all. I write Steampunk, and the steamiest that’s ever gotten is two women kissing. (Shock! Scandal!) No, really. I’m also not self-published. All of my ebooks are published through Musa Publishing. (Always time for a little self-promotion, eh?)

Now, if I’ve ever gotten any sales from Kobo UK or WH Smith isn’t something I can tell you, since I think those go under the Smashwords umbrella on my statements. But frankly, it’s in the interest of any writer to want their titles available in as many places as humanly possible, just in case some reader will stumble across them and fall in love. Will the “non-objectionable” books get brought back eventually? I hope so. But there’s been no word from Kobo thus far. And why is “self-published” in general being equated with incestuous dog-raping erotica?

(And of course this doesn’t even touch on the idea of books that are “objectionable” being blanket removed from catalogs and how deeply it disturbs my little American soul.)

One of the reasons I find this all really disturbing is that it’s a reminder of one of the creepier major drawbacks of ebooks: It’s laughably easy to make them vanish. And to do so in a massive blanket that drags up a ton of people who are unrelated to whatever “problem” this supposedly will fix. Particularly for ebooks (we can’t even get dead tree copies of our own work to hump around in a suitcase and sell if it comes to that) we are incredibly dependent on these websites, and have no defense at all when it comes to our titles being removed.

And apparently being with a publisher isn’t an automatic defense either. So that’s fun.

I wanted to get this out there because I think it’s important, and I hadn’t even heard of the issue until someone mentioned it on a mailing list of which I’m a member. I think this is a thing that really deserves more attention, because there are so many issues to be unpacked in it and I’m just not capable right now because it’s three in the morning and seriously I only got up to pee and that was like an hour again and fuck my life, hahaha, etc. But anyway. I swear I’m going back to bed for real now. BELIEVE ME.

Categories
stuff in the uk trip report

This is the part where you get to be even more jealous of me: Stratford (and Newark Park House)

Yes. Not only am I surrounded by delicious biscuits and all the milky tea I can drink, yesterday I went to Stratford. And saw the Royal Shakespeare Company perform Hamlet. (And also went to Shakespeare’s birthplace, which was cool too.) Then today I went to the Newark Park House, which is just ridiculously beautiful.

Ready for some pictures?

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More under the cut.

Categories
stuff in the uk trip report

A Brunel Kind of Day

It was another day for tourist things, this time closer to home, in Bristol. We started out at the Avon Gorge, so I could look at the pretty rocks.

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The pretty rocks are mostly Carboniferous limestones and a bit of sandstones. Apparently there are fossils, but I never got near enough to the limestones to look. It’s a nice, deep river valley that formed during the last glacial maximum. Very pretty. Though I  find the river very strange to look at since it’s so tidally influenced it was just a trickle when we were there. It’s hard to imagine ships going up the river, but you can also tell how deep it is when the tide comes in by looking at the extent of the mud banks.

Now, the reason to go to Avon Gorge is to see the Clifton Suspension Bridge, which was designed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel, owner of the most fantastic name I have ever encountered in my life. I am going to have to name a character in the Adventures of Captain Ramos Isambard. The bridge is pretty impressive just because of how high up it is, and the chains on it are not what I’m used to chains looking like.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh4.ggpht.com/-l78DSDFDn7g/UYp6zmYHeBI/AAAAAAAALV8/9_C7bi7C9ZY/s144-c-o/IMG_20130508_060949_065.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/104914909709893493346/080513Bristol#5875643690751850514″ caption=”IMG_20130508_060949_065″ type=”image” alt=”IMG_20130508_060949_065″ ] [pe2-image src=”http://lh5.ggpht.com/-WYftWXDr9j4/UYp7wc35yBI/AAAAAAAALYs/zhahE8ajDdE/s144-c-o/IMG_20130508_060117_725.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/104914909709893493346/080513Bristol#5875644736172836882″ caption=”IMG_20130508_060117_725″ type=”image” alt=”IMG_20130508_060117_725″ ]

 There are also signs for the Samaritans (basically the suicide prevention hotline) all over the bridge so… yeah.

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 Anyway, it’s a beautiful spot.

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 After, we went to the SS Great Britain, which was also designed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel. There is a lot of cool information about the Great Britain, which is better read at the Wikipedia page than reiterated here by me. But the coolest thing I think is that the ship (now museum) was returned to the dry dock in which she was built, and there she has stayed.

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 You can go down into the dry dock, which is truly very dry. There’s a massive dehumidifier system under there to try to arrest the corrosion of the iron hull. There’s a glass ceiling with a thin layer of water above to give the ship the illusion of being in water when viewed from above. Hilariously, it also means people can look like they’re walking on water if they go in.

There’s a nice audio tour for the ship, which is a very nicely done museum, preserving the ship’s history as a passenger liner. One of the tours says it’s about Sinbad, the ship’s cat. I asked for that one and was informed, after a disbelieving stare, “That one’s for children.” I said, “Yes, I know. That’s the one I want.” After another stare, the lady handed over the audio tour unit once my mother in law informed her, “It’s all right, she’s American.”

So there you go, my fellow Americans.

It’s false advertising anyway. The children’s tour is actually about a little first class passenger named Florence who spends her whole time chasing the poor, ginger cat. I felt like I was robbed. The tour would have been way more fun if it had been from the fictional viewpoint of an anthropomorphic tabby. So bleh on you, SS Great Britain museum tours.

I think my favorite part of the ship was the replica engine.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh3.ggpht.com/-Yf45SLkIqBM/UYp3pmkK74I/AAAAAAAALMM/BMaapjyivWo/s144-c-o/IMG_20130508_083735_166.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/104914909709893493346/080513Bristol#5875640220468834178″ caption=”IMG_20130508_083735_166″ type=”image” alt=”IMG_20130508_083735_166″ ] [pe2-image src=”http://lh3.ggpht.com/-p6YAPX9DScU/UYp3u8whRrI/AAAAAAAALMc/yB9BEEC5nZw/s144-c-o/IMG_20130508_083432_142.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/104914909709893493346/080513Bristol#5875640312325555890″ caption=”IMG_20130508_083432_142″ type=”image” alt=”IMG_20130508_083432_142″ ]

 Well, and my moment of being very dapper.

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 I want a top hat of my own. I would wear it whenever the hell I pleased.

There was also some fun fake food in the galley and first class dining room. You know how I am about fake food.

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 …but then it all got a bit Silent Hill.

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 Also, this is apparently a game. Called, and I am not making this up, the Nut Spinner.

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 No one knows how it was played. Insert your joke here.

After, it was getting rainy and we were touristed out, so we headed back home. We had to stop at a bridge while a barge went through, so you know what has to happen.

[pe2-image src=”http://lh6.ggpht.com/-Gkx2FZZraoI/UYpsgkvdWJI/AAAAAAAALHk/GZE7woFL6Iw/s144-c-o/IMG_20130508_093113_825.jpg” href=”https://picasaweb.google.com/104914909709893493346/080513Bristol#5875627970732578962″ caption=”IMG_20130508_093113_825″ type=”image” alt=”IMG_20130508_093113_825″ ]

 And of course.

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 In honor of the release of the World’s End trailer. Though I know, I know. I should have gotten a mint cornetto instead. I panicked. I’m sorry.

I have a ton more pictures if you’d like to see them! They’re at my Picasa album.

And you know what I’m doing tomorrow? I’M GOING TO STRATFORD, BITCHES. Going to see Hamlet done by the Royal Shakespeare Company. YES. GIVE ME YOUR ENVY. IT TASTES LIKE SWEET CANDY TO ME AHAHAHAHA.

Categories
stuff in the uk

A day amongst the ruins.

We did a lot of touristy things today, in Wales. We started with Tintern Abbey – we tried to see it in 2011, but it was raining. And raining. And raining some more. In Wales, I know. Who would have thought?

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Tintern Abbey is an absolutely beautiful ruin. The scale is fantastic. Being able to look up through the roof into blue sky defines tranquility, and somehow seems right despite the fact that the building was obviously never intended to look like that. Ruins are always presented visually as creepy, but Tintern was nothing of the sort. I think it’s because of the lawns that carpet the area, grass and flowers growing up between the bases of columns that have long since fallen. Tintern looks comfortable in its ruin, and welcoming. It’s a place that wants you to come have a picnic and sun yourself in the grass. It’s beautiful.

(It’s also made from sandstone, and I had a fun time boring everyone by pointing out structures in the eroded stonework.)

Tintern in the rain had its own beauty, though.

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It’s just so quiet. The day we went about a year and a half ago, it was just us there. And you could hear the rain, every drop of it, pattering onto the grass and stone. I liked it then as well.

Anyway, after Tintern Abbey we went on to Cheptow Castle, which is another ruin. I honestly don’t have that much to say about Cheptow, other than it sure is a castle. There were more people there, laying in the grass and throwing frisbees. There is something odd about seeing that, as an American. It seems weird to see people playing so casually around something so ancient – the castle’s nearly 800 years old.

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Of course that has nothing on our last stop for the day, the Roman Fortress at Caer Leon. Where a lively football/rugby match (they were kind of playing by rugby rules but using a football? Yeah, I don’t know) was happening in the middle of the ruins of a nearly 2000 year old amphitheater.

IMG_20130506_102246_076But the more I think about it the more I like it. What made history in the first place was always the people. Putting something behind glass means that you can look at it, and enjoy it perhaps for the sake of art, but it becomes a thing without life, simply preserved. It feels only right that in the same place humans laughed and played 2000 years ago, we’re there, bringing life to the stones that stand.

(For more pictures, here’s my Picasa Album for today.)

 

Categories
stuff in the uk trip report

A relaxing day in Cambridge

Spent today bumming around Cambridge with our friend Dan. We’ve now hit the pub by his place (the Green Dragon) twice for dinner, and it’s been pretty good both time. There is this thing they do that involves a steak covered with cheese and we really don’t need to get more deeply into it than that.

It was a grey day, but it’s basically been nothing but grey days the entire time we’ve been in the UK. The Cam was very swollen, up onto the natural banks in places, which is not good. The sluice gate at Jesus Lock was partially open, which kicked up an impressive sediment plume in the water. There was also quite a bit of standing water in the various commons we passed by, shallow little ponds with park benches and trees sticking up out of them.

There were quite a few house boats parked along the river banks, many of them complete with cats. One of the cats was a very seriously little orange tabby who came up onto the path to be petted by us. (We didn’t see him later when we came back, post-rain-storm, but there was a cat flap in the door of the boat so we figure he was safe and dry). There was also a pretty grey and brown tabby who had a lot to say to us, and a very quiet black cat who seemed well aware of the fact that there were swans not five feet from him on the other side of the boat.

We did most of our walking when it wasn’t really raining much, and sat out the worst of the storm while having coffee at a little Italian cafe.

Pictures here.

Categories
doctor who liveblog stuff in the uk

Liveblog of the 2012 Doctor Who Christmas Special

Yes, I am in England, which means I get to see it before most of my friends HAHAHAHA

Needles to say, SPOILERS.

1715 Snowflakes with sharp teeth. This feels so Nightmare Before Christmas!

1715 When an evil snowman with the voice of Sir Ian McKellen asks a creepy loner if he wants help, magical things are bound to happen.

1716 “I said I’d feed you. I didn’t say who to.” Even his grammar is evil.

1717 Scariest snowman ever. I love it. They have sharp teeth and angry eyes.

1719 SCREAM IT’S MADAM VASTRA. Who is wise to the Doctors terrible habit of picking up chicks everywhere he goes.

1720 And we have a show name! “Doctor? Doctor who?”

1720 Matt Smith in a top hat is a lovely sight. I approve.

1720 “Ice remembers.” I’m sensing a theme here.

1721 HAHAHA ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE BASED SHERLOCK HOLMES ON MADAM VASTRA. “A woman and her suspiciously intimate companion.” Eeeee and Vastra is married to Jenny so she resents the implication of impropriety.

1723 Alien snow? “When you see something new… what’s the next thing you look for?” “A grenade!” I love this little Sontaran (Strax) so very much. He’s my favorite “psychotic potato dwarf.”

1725 After all that time saving the Earth and the Earth doesn’t care. Aw, poor Doctor needs a hug.

1727 Don’t think about snowmen! And then they melt if you think about it hard enough, which seems a bit silly.

1730 The invisible staircase is very pretty. But also very impractical. Neat way to get to the TARDIS though, floating on a cloud.

1732 “Tomorrow the snow shall fall and so will mankind!” Oh Doctor Who, you are so silly. Never change.

1733 In-carriage costume change! And suddenly she’s gone to a prim governess. Apparently she’s Mary Poppins?

1735 TMW your employer calls you pretty and then says he just meant young. SUBTLE.

1737 “Do not attempt to escape or you will be obliterated. May I take your coat?” STRAX I LOVE YOU.

1738 Madam Vastra wants one word answers. Two questions like why. Oh but she is good.

1740 And then an even tougher one. Oh my god Madam Vastra is so cool. Explain danger and why he should help in only one word. The answer of “pond” is a real punch in the stomach, ain’t it Doctor.

1741 LOL AND THEN THE DOCTOR PRETENDS TO BE SHERLOCK HOLMES. And he is so utterly terrible at it.

1741 …what is that pun even. No. Bad Doctor.

1742 “Shut up I’m making deductions it’s very exciting.” OH GOSH.

1744 “Madam Vastra wanted to know if you needed any grenades… she might have said help.” STRAX I LOVE YOU.

1744 “I’m the clever one. You’re the potato one… you’re not clever or funny and you’ve got tiny little legs!”

1745 Even the Doctor’s own hand doesn’t listen to him.

1747 An evil governess made of ice. That’s a new one.

1747 Not sure how I feel about the Doctor and hand puppets.

1749 “It’s okay I’m your governess’ gentleman friend and we’ve just been upstairs uh… uh… kissing!” YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, DOCTOR.

1749 “Hello I am a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife.” Maid: SCREAMS Us: Squeal with delight.

1752 Wow, getting the kissing on early I see.

1753 Stupid is the Doctor’s thing. That’s amazing.

1754 “My eyes are always front.” “Mine aren’t.” And thus Clara says the thing all women have been thinking ever.

1754 The staircase is taller on the inside. Oh that is clever.

1755 Now sure how I feel about the redo on the decoration for the TARDIS. The central column makes me think of a carousel.

1756 Aha callback to the other episode the actress was in. Well we knew Steven Moffat would desperately find some link. Guess we’ll see it. Wow, and he’s already giving her a key? That was quick. “Me, giving in.” Awwww.

1757 And apparently we were so busy being cute we totally forgot about the evil ice governess and… there goes Clara really? Well that was even quicker. They’ve introduced this woman twice and killed her both times. Yeesh.

1759 Oh Strax. You are the most comforting.

1805 Ah, the return of the memory worm. That’s fun.

1805 Somehow I doubted it would be that easy. It’s Sir Ian McKellen for goodness sake.

1806 …winter is coming, really? I think nerdpanties everywhere just got wetter.

1808 An all it took was a whole family crying on Christmas Eve? That’s a bit… yeah.

1810 Another reference to souffle girl.

1811 The woman keeps dying! “Remember, we shall meet again.” Oh, that’s kind of fun. “Watch me run.” Yeah this could be an interesting series. Wonder if they’ll kill her in every episode like Kenny.

Categories
stuff in the uk

Slimbridge Wetland Centre

So, it actually stopped raining for about an hour and a half, which is amazing. I know I like to give the UK a lot of shit about being rainy and having no sun or blue sky, but this year has been kind of ridiculous and now I’m regretting all that teasing I’ve done.

But yes! Sun! Or at least lack of rain! Fresh air! We went to Slimbridge Wetland Centre, which is a little reserve for aquatic birds. I’m not much of a bird person (though I think my parents would love it) but I still had fun seeing all the pretty and exceedingly talkative animals.

Have some photos.

By the way, this cute little guy? Is a Nene, which is a goose from Hawaii. Apparently they breed them here in captivity and send them back to Hawaii. But if you go to Slimbridge, get used to this sight. They’re always there, watching you with their cute, black button eyes. And there are always two of them. Weird. Eerie. Cute.