You know you’re from Colorado if…

My mother forwarded this e-mail to me, and I’ve kept all of the ones that I think are true.

  • You eat ice cream in the winter. (Who doesn’t?)
  • It snows 5 inches and you don’t expect school to be cancelled.
  • You’ll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.
  • You have no accent at all, but can hear other people’s. And then you make fun of them.
  • “Humid” is over 25%. (And the horrible things it does to my hair…)
  • Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and away from the mountains. (My husband still doesn’t get this, even after living here for seven years.)
  • You say “the valley highway” and everybody knows which interstate you’re talking about,
  • You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard. (Any month is a normal month for a blizzard.)
  • You buy your flowers to set out on Mother’s day, but try and hold off planting them until just before Father’s day.
  • You grew up planning your Halloween costumes around your coat. (Puffiest unicorn EVER.)
  • You know what the Continental Divide is. (Both a location and an excellent beer.)
  • You don’t think Coors beer is that big a deal. (…does anyone?)
  • You went to Casa Bonita as a kid, AND as an adult.
  • You’ve gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities.
  • You always know the elevation of where you are.
  • You wake up to a beautiful, 80 degree day and you wonder if it’s going to snow later.
  • You don’t care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at Mile High Stadium.
  • You actually know that South Park is a real place, not just a hilarious show on TV.
  • You know what a ‘trust fund hippy’ is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder.
  • It’s still “Elitches,” not “Six Flags.”
  • A bear on your front porch doesn’t bother you.
  • When people back East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just laugh.
  • You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels “sticky” and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

And here’s a few of my own:

  • You know the Colorado Creep as a driving maneuver, not just what your underwear does when you’ve been hiking too long.
  • You instinctively know how to dress in layers for every occasion.
  • You’ve ever considered wearing your hiking boots to a job interview, because they’re the nicest shoes you own.
  • You know that all the bad drivers come from California and Texas. Yeah. That’s the problem.
  • Your bicycle is probably worth more than your car.
  • You go to other states and are shocked by how few marijuana dispensaries there are.
  • You think the Platte is a big river.
  • You’ve seen the world from 14,000 feet but you’ve never seen the ocean. (True for me well into my twenties.)
  • You’ve made it to the top of the Flatirons, and I don’t mean the mall.
  • You have to keep a checklist of which breweries you still need to try out.

Anything to add, my Colorado friends?

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