Categories
movie

I have a lot of feelings about Dumplin’

I saw Dumplin’ on Netflix last weekend thanks to Sarah Gailey, and I’m glad since I might never have gotten around to it otherwise.

If you don’t know about Dumplin’, it’s about a fat girl named Willowdean (Danielle MacDonald) who is the daughter of a former beauty queen (Rosie, played by Jennifer Aniston) who is still deeply embedded in the pageant circuit and culture. As you can imagine, mother and daughter have some conflicting interests. Willowdean was much closer to her Aunt Lucy (Hilliary Begley), a beautiful and vivacious fat woman who instilled in her an absolute love of Dolly Parton… and who had recently died. In an act of grief and defiance, Willowdean decides to enter this year’s beauty pageant, along with her best friend Ellen (Odeya Rush), and two girls who also definitely don’t fit the pageant scene: defiantly queer Hannah (Bex Taylor-Klaus), and Millie (Maddie Baillio) who is extremely earnest about everything and also a fat girl.

So basically I’m going to spoil everything about this movie, so just go and watch it because it’s really fucking good.

Any movie that involves fat characters, especially fat female characters, is one I approach with caution. I’ve been burned way too many times by narratives that hinge on a girl “becoming” beautiful by losing weight. Or by the fat girl being the thin girl’s accessory. Or by the fat girl being the butt of the jokes instead of the one who makes them. Add that the whole thing centers around a beauty pageant and I would have been wary about picking it up on my own.

But the thing about Dumplin’ is that it’s one of those movies that constantly defies the expectations that have been drilled into us as an audience. For example, I spent the whole movie expecting Willowdean’s love interest Bo (Luke Benward), who is a traditional white teen guy hottie, to turn on her and be using her to score points, or because he expects her to be easy, or any of the horrible stuff that normally happens to fat girl characters. And it never happens. Bo’s earnest, and good, and… well, getting in to my own feelings as a fat person, there’s an amazing scene where Willowdean asks him why the hell he would want to be with her considering how she looks. Which is one of those moments where the movie got just too fucking real. I’ve had that conversation before. I’ve felt the disbelief that even when someone says they like you for your whole self, you think that can’t possibly be true. Willowdean’s someone that’s grown up in the same fat-hating culture as the rest of us (and it’s on display in the movie in horrible, familiar ways), with the added fun of having an image-conscious, incredibly thin mother.

(A mother who eagerly blames Aunt Lucy’s death on the fact that she was fat in an argument I felt like a punch in the gut.)

The movie does that with a lot of choices, taking the unexpected route that steps around cheap inter-character drama rather than following the familiar tropes. It’s also a massive meditation on friendship, and the strength of bonds between girls. We see Willowdean and her friend Ellen grow up together, solid friends into their teens. Ellen decides to participate in the pageant earnestly, and not as a way to try to destroy it. She and Willowdean get in a pretty nasty argument about things, where Willowdean basically calls out Ellen for being thing and says that people who look like Ellen (beautiful in a conventional sense) don’t have a place in the revolution.

The easy and expected route would be for them to be at odds for the rest of the movie. Instead, Willowdean apologizes and says she misses Ellen. And Ellen accepts the apology but says she’s still too mad to talk immediately… and Willowdean respects it. Then later, they’re back to being arm and arm, facing the world together. Like holy fucking shit, give me some more friendship like that. Give me teen girls having each other’s backs, because it’s them against the world. Give me teen girls that know they have different experiences of the world and use that difference to be even closer. I’m tearing up just thinking about it, because it was beautiful.

The sort of open heart that the film has about teen girls/young women being complex people with deep inner lives really does extend outside of Ellen and Willowdean. Millie is an actual precious cinnamon roll in human form, yet she is also without a doubt the most absolutely determined and implacable character on screen. Hannah’s a fucking adorable baby queer trapped in a small town, who goes from doing everything with full, angry irony to finding her own balance of earnest participation and still absolutely being herself. Watching Hannah and Millie become friends in the background is a fucking amazing story on its own. (And I would also totally ship it.)

And even the rest of the girls in the pageant aren’t reduced to caricature even if we don’t know their stories. It’s another moment where the film could have taken the expected route, making a bunch of teenage pageant participants into raging, catty bitches, and sidesteps that. They’re welcoming, and they believe in what they’re doing. Hell, there’s a scene where Willowdean shows her talent (a magic trick) in front of everyone and I wanted to die of transmitted embarrassment because she does so badly… which is the point because at that point, she’s not taking things seriously and hasn’t practiced. But the scene is actually a thousand times more uncomfortable not because the girls in the audience are being nasty, but because they convey that they really want her to do better, and that’s so much worse.

The movie does critique pageant culture for the way it excludes fat girls and is often used to make them feel worse about themselves. The scene where Willowdean signs up for the pageant, where the women in charge make it very clear that she does not belong here with tone and expression, is exactly what you’d expect. Yet the critique comes from a place of love rather than misogyny, which is where a lot of criticism of pageants loses its way. It’s possible to criticize fat-shaming and promotion of eating disorders without denigrating the idea that some people might find embracing that branch of femininity, with its sparkling dresses, empowering.

Ultimately, Dumplin’ embraces the beauty pageant as a place that allows Millie particularly to realize her potential by singing her heart out and looking goddamn fabulous in a dress. It touches on how important events like that can be in fairly small towns–so big in a girl’s life that even twenty-some years later, it’s the biggest accomplishment that Rosie’s ever had and it’s made her dedicate herself to shepherding other girls that way. And it presents its own vision of the world as it should be, with Millie placing in the pageant to thunderous applause because she goddamn well deserves it.

Which curiously, circles back around to Aunt Lucy, whose presence never leaves the film. Rosie has hit the stage of grief where she wants to get rid of Lucy’s old possessions; Willowdean isn’t quite there yet, which is another point of friction. And she wants to find a broach of Lucy’s that looks like a bee, something she always wore. Willowdean joins the pageant on a half-formed whim when she finds some paperwork among the boxes that shows Aunt Lucy was going to do the pageant the same year Rosie did… and mysteriously dropped out. The natural assumption in that moment is that Lucy didn’t make it into the pageant because of her weight… and so Willowdean decides to do it herself, to complete her lost aunt’s dream and to also get a kind of revenge, since Willowdean believes the pageant is bullshit and wants to prove it.

What we eventually come to find is that Lucy dropped out of the pageant not because she was forced out, but because the family couldn’t afford even one suitable dress, and so she dropped out and made one for Rosie herself–the one Rosie still wears every year. And in the end, Willowdean finds her own meaning in the pageant by embracing it to the point that she gets herself disqualified by doing an unapproved and incredible magic performance. Which sure seems like something that would have made Lucy proud, while still being very Willowdean. And Rosie finds she can no longer fit into her teen pageant dress… but she goes on stage (in a borrowed dress) wearing Lucy’s broach. Both of them are letting go, and changing, and still keeping the person they loved in their life in a positive way.

All this, and you get Dolly Parton drag queens too. And a ton of great Dolly Parton songs. Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier. I just have a lot of feelings, okay?

Categories
writing year in review

2018 Writing Year in Review

Writing This Year

Novels: 0

Novellas: 2

Novellettes:  0

Short Stories: 5

Flash: 2

TV/Movie Scripts: 1

Other Scripts: 2 scripts written for Six to Start

Paid Nonfiction: 22 for Book Riot, 3 short textbooks written

Treatments/Outlines: 2

Editing: Several small freelance editing gigs

Consigned to the trunk of awfulness, never to return: None this year, maybe because I’ve been completely ignoring my short stories in favor of long stuff.

Best/Favorite story of the year: Probably Siren. You can read it in Sword and Sonnet.

Magic Spreadsheet wordcount: I stopped tracking this year, which may have been a mistake. I felt like I finally hit a place where I could be productive without really flogging myself with daily tracking…and then everything basically went to shit from August onward, mostly thanks to having surgery on my foot. I’m trying to get back into the habit now, and in the new year I think I’m going to start tracking my word count and editing hours again so I can set more concrete goals.

Publishing

Queries sent: 25
Rejections received: 21
Pending: 4
Most rejections received: This year, it’s The Devil Squid Apocalypse, but I’m going to keep trying goddammit. I LOVE THAT STORY TOO MUCH.
Gross earned: $13,645.47, surpassing last year by over $2.8K. Which I’m finding even more personally impressive because I only had one advance payment for a novel this year. The bulk of the rest was freelance income or work for hire.

Published this year:

  1. Blood Binds the Pack
  2. Murder on the Titania and Other Steam-Powered Adventures
  3. Excerpts from the Personal Journal of Dr. V. Frankenstein, MD, Department of Pathology, Our Lady of Mercy Hospital in We Shall Be Monsters
  4. 40 Facts About the Strip Mall at the Corner of Never and Was in Shimmer #46
  5. Siren from Sword and Sonnet
  6. The Best Fantasy Short Stories and Where to Find Them
  7. The Weird Libertarian Trojan Horse That is the Little House Books
  8. 10 Great Underwater Sci-fi and Fantasy Works
  9. 5 Books Over 500 Pages That Are Well Worth Your Time
  10. All Issues of FIYAH Literary Magazine Removed from Goodreads
  11. WorldCon 76 Report: Hugo Awards, Lodestars, and MAGA Hats
  12. Overdrive vs. Libby: Which Will Serve You Best?
  13. 12 Books to Pierce the Filter Bubble
  14. WorldCon Updates Programming in Response to Critiques from SF Creators
  15. How WorldCon Failed Marginalized Creators With Programming and Communication
  16. Tor Hits Libraries With Lending Delay
  17. The Ripples of #Cockygate
  18. 35 of the Best Fantasy Audiobooks
  19. #Cockygate Continues: The Best Bits of the Recent Hearing
  20. My Housemate Explains The Fountainhead to Me
  21. 5 Speculative Fiction Takes on Sherlock Holmes
  22. The Most Ambitious (Literary) Crossover Event in History
  23. Thank You, Naoko Takeuchi, for Sailor Moon
  24. Reader Shame: Award Season Edition
  25. Speculative Fiction on Tap: The Light Side of Beer
  26. Brain Armor: 6 Books for Skeptical Self Defense
  27. Author Banned From Attending WorldCon
  28. Science Fiction Short Stories to Read Online (and where to find them)

Slated for 2019:

  1. The Plague Doctor and the Stoker in Straight Outta Deadwood
  2. The second installment of the collected Captain Ramos Novellas from Queen of Swords Press
  3. Those text books I wrote this year–and I have three more I’ll be writing next year.
  4. Looks like I’ll be doing some TTRPG writing for Laser Kittens!

Goals for 2019

  1. Get back into writing nearly every day; get writing endurance back up to 1-2k words per day.
  2. Finish novella project and turn it in.
  3. Suck it up, find the money, and put at least the TV pilot script on the Black List. Submit to more contests.
  4. Make an actual effort to find out about work for hire for video games instead of just whining about it.
  5. Work on at least one collaborative project.
  6. Write one novel. Two as a stretch goal, but unlikely with the amount of freelance work I’ve frontloaded with.
  7. Finish editing Flash Memory and make it my agent’s problem.
  8. Read at least 60 books.
  9. Do the birthday story, as usual.
  10. Do posts on my personal blog more often. My ability to write blog posts has kind of atrophied, and I need to practice it. (And convince myself I have interesting things to say, which is sometimes the harder part.)

Other Stuff

  1. HUNGER MAKES THE WOLF WON AN AWARD!!!! I’m still fucking blown away by this.
  2. I read 68 books this year, which is two short of my goal of 70.
  3. I fucking love my Destiny clan.
  4. Got back into baking this year, and I want to continue next year. Goals include: curry goat pie (hot water crust pastry), learn how to make bread, something involving meringue, make a puff pastry once so I never feel the need to do it again
  5. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is my pick for best movie this year, and definitely the one that made me feel happiest. Close second is Black Panther.

Real talk: while I managed to do better monetarily than last year (and I’m proud of the work I’ve done), this year has kind of sucked for me on a personal level. Mostly because I got taken out by an injury at work in March, and it’s just been that drama ceaselessly since. I’m on the road to recovery now, but it’s slow, and it’s fucking painful, and I think that’s really hurt my ability to write since August (when I had surgery). Beyond that, it’s forced me to do some really painful self-assessment about what I can even physically do any more, at the ripe old age of 38, and what that means from aspects of my life from my leisure activities to my ability to do my current job. And that’s also been a major, ongoing source of anxiety for me. Like this is probably the most continuously stressed out and anxious and internally fucked up I’ve been since my last year at AT&T, when I was so depressed I literally stopped sleeping.

So yeah. Here’s hoping 2019 is calmer.

Categories
movie

[Movie] Mary Poppins Returns

Look, Mary Poppins Returns is a Mary Poppins movie, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to you if you just read the fucking title of it. There’s a sequence where Mary Poppins (Emily Blunt) and Jack (Lin-Manuel Miranda) dance with a bunch of animated characters. There’s silly, surreal sequences involving bathtubs and balloons. There’s a lot of singing. There’s a whole big number where a bunch of working class London dudes dance and do some BMX stunts, except this time around they’re “leeries” instead of chimney sweeps. It’s approximately thirty years into the future of the first Mary Poppins, so Michael Banks has his own kids and Jane Banks gets to wear trousers.

Plot-wise, and the plot isn’t terribly complicated because it’s there to hold all the musical numbers together, it’s about Michael Banks (Ben Whishaw) trying to save his family house after his wife has died and he’s been bad about keeping up the bills while caring for their three children. It’s during the Great Slump (aka the Great Depression in the UK) so he doesn’t exactly have a lot of job options; he works part-time as a teller for an evil banker played by Colin Firth, who is the same guy who wants to repossess Michael’s house. Mary Poppins shows up to reignite the joy in the family and incidentally help them not lose their home.

It’s like the original Mary Poppins, but a bit more pacey. Lin-Manuel MIranda gets to do a tiny bit of rap, even though he had nothing to do with the lyrics, which we can all breathe a sigh of relief about. I mean, it’s just really nice? And suitable for small children? And very colorful. The costume design was really great, especially what they did during the animated sequence.

Really, it’s all cute wrapping paper for the fact that Mary Poppins is a terrifying eldritch being that descends to earth once a generation, spreads a particular kind of madness around, and then leaves once she is on the receiving end of enough laughter from people whose reality she’s utterly broken. Okay, look:

  1. She descends to earth from the heavens in a terrifying shadow, one foot cocked up as if about to tap impatiently because it’s been so long since she’s had some delicious mortal souls.
  2. She spends all of her time taking the kids on strange adventures that, when the children try to describe them later, she tells them that of course these things didn’t happen.
  3. She bends reality around herself. Mirrors don’t respond properly, etc.
  4. There’s an entire song she sings (while in the trippy cartoon realm) about not judging a book by its cover. Sure, it’s a warning about Douchebag McBankerface, but more importantly, she’s delivering a winking warning about herself. Don’t judge her by her charming exterior when it’s actually just a flesh bag that contains an unending sea of glittery, chthonic madness.
  5. At the end of this film, Angela Lansbury gives her a fucking bright red balloon like she’s fucking Pennywise the Clown because JESSICA FLETCHER KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKING UP

But come on, it’s not like any of this is a surprise if you saw the first movie. It’s very consistent. The one thing that isn’t consistent, that’s still bothering the heck out of me, is an almost throw-away line at the end of the film. I guess count it as a SPOILER if you’re really concerned.

Categories
silly

Arbitrary Grades for Chocolate Biscuits

From the Cadbury Chocolate Biscuit Selection:

You are a wheel of LIES

Simply Shortcake: It’s a little bar of shortbread covered in milk chocolate, so it basically tastes of nothing but the milk chocolate. Look, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but I think shortbread is a biscuit that’s just not trying hard enough to be anything and I prefer my carbohydrates-held-together-with-fat to have some fucking conviction. It’s the moderate of biscuits, which is why you can put anything on it, I suppose. And yes, I’m sure your nan’s shortbread is so fucking amazing it’ll give me a BJ and do my laundry while it’s partying in my mouth, but we’re talking about something that was made in a factory, here. As a vehicle for getting chocolate into your mouth, it could be worse. It could also be better. D

Vanilla Crisp: A rectangular vanilla biscuit that’s fighting its hardest to assert itself over the milk chocolate, and it kind of succeeds. I’m using “vanilla” here in the loosest sense, because it’s mostly just sweet and what androids dream of vanilla tasting like, having only experienced it by mass spectrometer. But at least it’s a biscuit that’s willing to commit to having an actual flavor, so that earns it a grade bump. C

White Shortcake: White chocolate is the insipid cum of the devil’s accountant, Teddy, who doesn’t really like the current state of world affairs, but he doesn’t see how there’s anything that he can do about it, so he’ll just keep his head down and hope to not be noticed. In other words, I’m not putting that in my mouth because I don’t want to know what no real flavor plus no real flavor equals. It’s probably the saddest dividing by zero experience your mouth could have. F-

Crunchy Ring: It’s a biscuit in the shape of a ring. I’m not sure what flavor it is because everything tastes of chocolate. It also has the same texture as every other biscuit from the tin, so I’m feeling a little lied to, here. Just be proud of what you are, biscuit. Call yourself Vaguely Flavored Ring-shaped Biscuit and have done with it. This is a safe place. C-

Milk Triangle: I’m still not sure if the “milk” here refers to the fact that it’s coated in milk chocolate, or there might be something “milk”-flavored going on here. Kind of like that “milk”-flavored Japanese candy that’s an uncomfortable mix between vanilla and something not brave enough to be actually malty. Look, all I’m saying is that I have no idea what this actually tastes of under it’s jaunty jacket of milk chocolate, and it disturbs me. But on the other hand, it’s formed into an approximately equilateral triangle, and I’m a sucker for geometric shapes. B-

Dark Chocolate Surprise: I was expecting elves, or an explosion of confetti, or maybe the crunchy bits that had wandered off the mis-named “Crunchy Ring” so they could crackle in my mouth like pop rocks. It’s a biscuit coated in dark chocolate that completely prevents you from discovering if the biscuit tastes of anything. After all of the other biscuits in the tin, that’s not surprising either. Maybe the real surprise is the friends we made along the way. Or the real surprise that there is no surprise, and there’s actually a cunningly hidden zen koan waiting to be pondered in this tin. But I like dark chocolate okay. B

Ginger CrunchMaybe I’m just incapable of detecting crunch with my horrible American teeth. British crunchy bits are too subtle and worldly for my callow tastes. Maybe I’m the problem and I’ve always been the problem. Fuck you, biscuits, I’m not going to be judged by something that came in a cheery purple tin that isn’t even big enough to conceal the average grandmother’s sewing kit. Anyway, the more important part is that there is ginger, and it’s not giving me a bloody nose and making me cry happy tears of pain, but it’s present and unwilling to be overpowered by the chocolate coating. It’s the only biscuit that comes in its own shiny wrapping, marking it as the Emperor of This Particular Tin, special and infinitely more edible than anything else without being dunked in tea in an attempt to pretend that everything is all right and normal. And I just fucking love ginger biscuits. A

Categories
play

Hole

I think I’m going to make seeing a play while I’m in the UK for Christmas a habit. I did it last year when I saw Belleville at the Donmar, and I’ve made the effort in previous years when I was around in London. I don’t get to see a lot of plays, so it’s good to try something different.

Which is incidentally why, after going through all my options for plays this year, I decided to see Hole at the Royal Court Theatre. It sounded like something different, was pretty short (only 65 minutes), and the line in the description is hard to argue with: We’re harpies. We’re a three-headed bitch. We’ve been guarding the gates. Now we’re throwing them open.

On the other side, I’m not sure if I can really describe Hole as having a plot, as such. It’s more a simple framework–women who have been attacked and buried by society rise up in anger and vengeance. To me, it felt kind of like a sixty-five minute monologue delivered by five (occasionally six) different mouths, with music breaks and dancing and some weird costumes. It’s a celebration of female anger on a bent stage.

We’re getting bigger. We’re getting wider. We’re gaining weight. We’re eating. We’re consuming. We won’t stop.

Alison Halstead, Ronkẹ Adékoluẹjo, Rubyyy Jones, Cassie Layton, and Eva Magyar sing and dance and scream and whisper threateningly. They’re a diverse bunch of actors, a spectrum of size and color. They occupy space beyond their physical borders, unapologetically. Which is one of the big points of the production. You will not crush meYou will acknowledge that I am human and have a body that’s just as glorious and disgusting as any other human body. They move across the stage, use the vertical space in some really cool ways (swings and the like) and intrude into the space of the audience so you’re pulled in whether you want to be or not.

Honestly, the thing that startled me the most was that for about the last half(?) or so of the play, Rubyyy Jones performed topless. We’re not socially used to seeing female nudity in a setting that’s not about titillation or overt sexualization. And she was just… there. No winking or smirking or apology, a challenge to the audience visually to go with all of the words. I was glad. Rubyyy is fat, and it was powerful for me to see her out there like a human middle finger to all expectations and stupid social standards.

We don’t like being watched if we don’t want to be seen. But when we want you to see us, you cannot look away.

The costumes are interesting. The actors for Hole start out in regular clothes. After they’re “buried” and re-emerge in their new, incredibly pissed-off form, they’re wearing a sort of visually disturbing version of the babydoll nightie. Then they’re wearing things with strategically placed patches of fur, a reminder that they’re daring to sprout hair and have bodily functions. Then the sort of clothes you might wear to kickboxing. A lot of it takes the commercialized, acceptable idea femininity by the ear and twists it to say, fuck you, this is the reality of it.

And there are harpy wings. There’s a lot of Greek mythology references, because if we’re going to be angry about misogyny, might as well take aim at a body of ancient, woman-hating work that gets referenced often in western literature. On stage, they retell the stories of Pandora and Medusa, the deep, structural unfairness that carries on today. There are references to harpies and Cerberus and the hydra. There’s an entire section where they are the maenads. I mean, maybe the whole play is a divine frenzy of rage, but it’s patriarchy, not Dionysus, that’s driving them rightfully mad.

It’s not our problem. It’s just biology. We are not accountable if you try to drive us mad. And you have been driving us mad. And we are ready to feed.

The conclusion is that all this rage, all this feeding, becomes to massive that it collapses into a singularity, a black hole that will consume everything. If you continue crushing them down, they will reach critical mass. And in the end, it’s shockingly quiet after the raucous, strangely joyous assertion of personhood and rage. It comes down to the first woman who spoke (Ronkẹ Adékoluẹjo, whose character is an astrophysicist) at last telling her story (“I am matter. I matter.”) like she and the others weren’t allowed to at the beginning. (Maybe if they’d been allowed to talk instead of consigned to a hole in the stage, they wouldn’t have been so bloody angry, hm?)

The conclusion to this manifesto is so simple: I need you to listen.

Categories
doctor who tv

At Last, New Who

Thanks to my friend Zalia, I have at last gotten to start watching season 11 of Doctor Who. This is the first time in YEARS I’ve been excited about watching new Doctor Who, and it’s entirely because of Jodie Whittaker. I had so many hopes that the Doctor being a woman would signal a pivot away from the god complex with a not-like-the-other-girls companion wish fulfillment that has basically rendered everything since The Waters of Mars nearly unwatchable for me.

My hopes were not dashed. From the first four episodes at least, I left feeling Doctor Who has redirected, and very much to the better, I think. I grew up watching stitched-together episodes of old Who on PBS, and in a way, this new Who makes me think more of what I loved about those, combined with the production values of the newer series. The Doctor has returned to her roots as a deeply humane, compassionate, anti-violence person, and the stories feel like the more episodic, simpler kind of plots that are intended for all ages. (And it gets downright educational and aspirational in the episode Rosa.)

But honestly, I think it’s better than the Who I grew up with, and not just because the monsters are not obviously people who have been wrapped in green-painted bubble wrap. The set of companions are absolutely delightful, and feel the most like equals to the Doctor than in any other series. They’re there because the Doctor plainly wants friends–and you can’t truly be friends without there being equality between people. The Doctor seems so much more concerned with what they’re going through emotionally as well as physically–her concern for Yaz and Ryan and the situation they’re placed in because of their races in Rosa is a huge contrast to the position Martha is in during The Family of Blood, as one example. And watching the companions all get along with each other and be concerned for each other and just be very supportive is a pleasure as well. I also wasn’t expecting Graham to be the sort of character he’s turned out to be, a delightful man in the running for Grandfather of the Year.

I am still trying to get used to the sort of production style of this new season. It’s not utterly campy like in previous years, or twee. The episodes I’ve watched so far have felt more Fringe-y than anything else, with light-heartedness provided by the characters and the dialog rather than practical effects visual gags. That’s also a bit different, visually, but I think I’m digging it. Honestly, I’d be happy with anything as long as I get to keep this cast and their dynamic.

Also, I fucking LOVE Whittaker’s Doctor, even if her sartorial choices still make me a little sad inside. She’s so solidly written as The Doctor, not as Ooh Look A Lady Doctor. She acknowledges her different gender when it’s funny and relevant, and otherwise I could just as easily imagine David Tennant or Christopher Eccleston saying the same lines and doing the same things, and that makes me So Fucking Happy.

Mini opinions on the episodes I’ve seen:

The Woman Who Fell to Earth – Pretty solid as a first episode for a Doctor goes, I think, since it hits the regular “who am I?” beats. Though I do like that in discovering who she is, the Doctor emphasizes her creativity and compassion. I also love that this first episode is relatively low stakes. There’s the lives of a few people at risk, but it’s pretty low key, all things considered, and gives the Doctor a chance to once again re-emphasize a point that’s been lost in the past: individuals matter. I did get a bit lost in the different sorts of aliens and MacGuffins and the like, thought.

The Ghost Monument – Solid, got the job done, didn’t really stand out that much to me. I would have liked a little more development for the end conclusion, but I’m glad of the time we got to spend with the Doctor and her companions for unraveling the mystery of the planet.

Rosa – Holy shit, this episode. The entire plot revolves around the Doctor and her companions making being part of Rosa Parks’s story, but not in charge of it, so to speak. They’re there to support her, and it was so different in that way. Like the Doctor has to help by not doing things for once. Ryan finds his inner activist and Yaz plans and hopes and really runs the show. And Graham, trying to be the best grandad he can be, and trying to protect Ryan while being so plainly disturbed by his own position in the system… It was good stuff, basically.

Arachnids in the UK – I might have liked this one more than I should have because the American billionaire villain guy was just so utterly awful and hilarious… with the horrible punchline being that as terrible as he was, he’d still be a better president than the one we currently have (who he’s planning to fictionally run against, fueled by antipathy). Also, watching Yaz deal with her family was kind of great. Like sure, an environmentalist message involving giant spiders. I’m on board.

Looking at these four episodes, the thing that strikes me the most is that they’re all comparatively low stakes. Even Rosa, which threatens to alter the course of history, doesn’t pretend that it’ll destroy all life if the Doctor et al don’t fix things. In episode 2, the stakes are incredibly important to the two characters involved–they both have a reason for wanting to win the big race they’re involved in–but again, the world isn’t going to blow up either way. I think getting back to these relatively smaller stories is incredibly important, because it does highlight the thesis of the show that the lives of individual people are important. And also, honestly, it’s a lot harder to write lower-stakes stories because you have to convey to the audience why it’s so important to the characters and get them to buy in. I’ve been impressed so far.

Ultimately, I’m looking forward to Doctor Who again. I can’t wait to watch more. I’m sure it’ll have its ups and downs, but I’m starting to have faith that I’ll enjoy the journey through this whole season without mentally checking out like I have in recent years. It feels like as the Doctor truly likes and respects her companions, so does the show like and respect its audience again. I can’t wait to watch more.

Categories
movie

Christmas 2018 Airplane Movies, part 1

I love international flights because they give me a reason to sit in one place for long enough to watch multiple movies. On the way over to the UK, I only watched two new ones because I made the attempt to sleep. With as much sleep as I got (about an hour and a half), I should have just watched more movies.

Ocean’s 8

I kept meaning to see Ocean’s 8 in the theater and just never got around to it. I think that was before I had regular access to a car, so that’s my excuse. Am I sorry I only saw it on the tiny screen of an airplane? Ehhhh… it’s a fun movie, that’s for sure. I mean, if you like the other Ocean’s movies, you’ll no doubt enjoy this one. If for no other reason than to watch Cate Blanchett strut around in a variety of beautifully tailored trousers. It’s got a heist, it’s got a ton of talented women in it. It’s light fluff that I enjoyed in the moment but really can’t remember much about now… other than Cate Blanchett. And I did love there was at least a nod to the importance and strength of friendships between women, even if I never quite felt like the group gelled as well as I would have liked. I’ll be happy to watch it again the next time I see it’s around on Netflix.

Searching

Saw the preview for it in front of an Alamo Drafthouse movie, and I was interested. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to see Searching before now. John Cho plays a dad whose daughter has gone missing, and he’s frantically searching for her while realizing just how much distance has grown between the two of them since the death of his wife two years ago. The conceit of Searching actually works pretty well… the film is told entirely via interactions on a computer: text messages, chats, facetime calls, streaming videos, etc. There’s a time or two where it feels like the scope of the action is fighting the format a little, but it honestly doesn’t feel as contrived as I expected. John Cho does an amazing job, and the twist was actually not one I expected. It’s great to see a dad searching for his daughter in a way that doesn’t go all Taken and feels quite authentic. I do want to see it again when I can find it on Netflix or Hulu, because the tiny airplane seat screen made it hard to read some of the text-based stuff for the story. (Apparently this caused me to entirely miss a sort of easter eggy subplot.) Definitely recommend.

 

Also, I watched Crazy Rich Asians again. It’s still fucking adorable.

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awards eligibility

Awards Eligibility 2018

I just realized I ought to do this for the reference of anyone who might care, and in a much more permanent form than on Twitter. Because I did do a thread on Twitter, you see, but that hardly counts when I can’t even manage to find it myself.

So, what the fuck did I have published this year?

Novel

THAT’S RIGHT I HAVE A SECOND FUCKING NOVEL OH YEAH – Blood Binds the Pack, written under the pen name Alex Wells. It’s the sequel to Hunger Makes the Wolf and I’m incredibly proud of it because I feel like I really leveled up my writing game here.

Novella

I did have a new novella published this year too! The title is The Flying Turk and you can find it in the collection Murder on the Titania and Other Steam-Powered Adventures.

Short Stories

Three short stories out this year:

Excerpts from the Personal Journal of Dr. V. Frankenstein, MD, Department of Pathology, Our Lady of Mercy Hospital in We Shall Be Monsters

40 Facts About the Strip Mall at the Corner of Never and Was is in the final Shimmer

Siren was published in Sword and Sonnet

(If you’d like to read either of these and don’t have a copy of the magazine or anthology, contact me.)

Other Writing

I’ve been writing at Book Riot all year. I think my three best/favorite bits are:

All Issues of FIYAH Literary Magazine Removed from Goodreads (Book Riot)

How WorldCon Failed Marginalized Creators With Programming and Communication (Book Riot)

My Housemate Explains The Fountainhead to Me (Book Riot)

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movie

[Movie] Anna and the Apocalypse

The pitch is: Shaun of the Dead meets High School Musical. In Scotland.

If you’re like, “FUCK YEAH GIVE ME THAT IN THE FACE” then you’re going to like this movie. If a zombie musical with Christmas visual jokes sounds awful to you, I’m not going to try to change your mind. This movie absolutely is what it is, and it leans hard on the musical trope of people randomly singing and doing choreographed dance routines, then continuing on with their lives as if nothing at all weird has happened.

Regular kid Anna wants to get out of her little town of Haven in Scotland; her goal is to escape to Australia and travel for a bit, though she assures her janitor dad that she’ll be back and will go to University. (He is, as you can imagine, not convinced.) Anna’s friends/compatriots have their own problems: Steph is a socially awkward lesbian who just wants to bring attention to important social issues while having no idea how to interact with normal humans; John is in love with Anna and just wants to go to art school; Chris needs to figure out how to emotionally connect with the subjects he’s filming and find their humanity; Lisa wants Chris to show up for her when she needs him and for Anna to buck up; and Nick is just a douchebag. Oh, and there’s a new headmaster taking over the school, the bushily-bearded Savage, who is a total dick when the movie starts and just gets worse.

Then the zombie apocalypse happens. In a slight reversal, most of the kids are trapped outside of the school and are coming in to rescue their loved ones, while inside the building things are getting… touchy.

It’s very much the kind of movie it is. If watching comedic gore and Yes-Belive-Us-They’re-Totally-Teenagers deal with their emotional issues sounds good to you, you’re going to have a lot of fun with this. The music’s poppy and engaging; I got earwormed pretty bad by one of the songs for about two days after seeing it. If it sounds not fun to you, I’m not going to try to change your mind.

I think what was an interesting angle in the film was the conflict between the headmaster, Savage, and Anna’s dad, Tony. It’s very much something you could read as a north vs south (UK style), educated middle class vs working class conflict, the the upper class dude (Savage) at one particularly horrific point calling Tony a “pleb” as other very bad things are happening. Though Lisa provides the moral center of the film in an absolutely memorable exchange with Savage, which occurs because Lisa is concerned about the heart condition one of the people trapped in the school has. It goes something like this (per my unreliable memory):

Savage: And what does society do when things start to fall apart?

Lisa: We help each other.

Savage: We prioritize.

I’m betting here that Savage is a Tory. Just saying.

As with many horror-comedy movies, the horror wins out a bit over the comedy in the end. Just don’t get too attached to a lot of the characters is the moral here. But some of the comedy is screamingly funny, with the big winner being Lisa’s song at the Christmas show, which is incredibly, hilariously dirty and involves dancing boys wielding large candy canes in absolutely mortifying ways. About all I wanted out of the film that I didn’t get (other than happy endings for several of the characters I liked, which is just not going to happen because… horror) was more of a character arc for doucheboy Nick. I think the movie was trying to aim at something and didn’t quite succeed, maybe because there wasn’t quite enough room in its lean, 93-minute run time.

[JUST ONE SPOILER BELOW]

As a free service to my fellow queers, however, I’m happy to inform you that the lesbian doesn’t die.

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movie

[Movie] Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Hopefully by now, you’ve had at least one friend shriek at you on Twitter or Facebook about how fucking GOOD this movie is. If not, consider me that friend. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is fucking amazing. It’s definitely the best Spider-Man movie I’ve ever seen. It’s quite possibly the best animated movie I’ve ever seen. It’s in the running to be the best movie I’ve seen all year, and it’s without a doubt the most fun I’ve had at a movie since Thor: Ragnarok.

So that should give you some kind of idea what we’re talking about here. I generally don’t watch animated movies and don’t like them that much, I think because I don’t tend to connect to the characters well for some reason. Or maybe I just don’t find the plots compelling. Maybe the emotional stakes don’t tend to work for me. I don’t know. Combination of factors perhaps. So it’s a Big Fucking Deal when I tell you that I LOVED this movie, that it made me tear up three times because it had so much emotional truth to it, and not just because like someone’s dad got whacked and the actors were really convincing.

I’m hoping this is a movie that’s going to get all of the ticket sales it deserves because of people like me, howling about how damn good it is at all of their friends and family. Because let me tell you, I couldn’t have been less interested in the trailer, which made it look like a cute-but-forgettable direct-to-dvd release that had unaccountably gotten bucked into theaters. I could not have given less of a shit about this movie until I saw Venom… because for whatever reason, they’d nailed about five minutes of Into the Spider-Verse on after the credits and I’d stayed to watch it in case there was a credit cookie. THEN I was hooked.

So why is it good?

The plot on its face sounds cartoonishly wacky. Ordinary (but brilliant) high school student Miles Morales gets bitten by a radioactive spider while he and his uncle are putting up some graffiti art in an abandoned area in the subway. Hijinks ensue, and then by accident Miles runs into Peter Parker Spider-Man as he’s trying to stop Kingpin from using a giant McGuffin machine to connect to all the alternate universes in an attempt to get his wife and kid back. During the fight, the machine instead yanks several Spider-People from other universes into Miles’s: Spider-Gwen, a schlubby burnout version of Spider-Man, Spider-Man Noir (voiced AMAZINGLY by Nic Cage), Penny Parker (an anime girl from future NYC who pilots a spider mecha), and Spider-Ham (a Warner-Brothers-esque 2D animated pig). They all join forces to save the world.

Yeah, I know. I wasn’t convinced either.

What summarizing the plot can’t do without spoilers is explain the massive, beating heart of emotion that moves this film. All of the various Spider-People get their own mini-arc, and Miles struggles to find his place in his own life, in his powers, in his family, and in the rest of the world. A lot of superhero movies give lip service to the idea that they’re a blown-out metaphor for the way the ordinary actions of regular people are still important. This is the first one I’ve seen that actually believed it, and really questioned what heroism is in the context, up to and including self-sacrifice.

Into the Spider-Verse gives us a vision of what it means to be a blue-collar hero in the modern world in the most life-like New York City I’ve ever seen in a Spider-Man movie. Miles’s dad is a cop and his mom is a nurse (neither of them are white) and they’re both moving heaven and earth to put him in a more upper class school that the obviously doesn’t feel comfortable in. The movie addresses the trauma of survival, the need to accept pain and not being defined by it, the true power of personal connections and sense of self, and the vital necessity of empathy. I could go on forever about Miles’s relationship with his dad alone, but I don’t want to spoil it.

And as a work of art of itself, it’s fucking gorgeous. As someone who is no aficionado of animation, I won’t make claims about if something is groundbreaking or not. But this was an animated movie that felt like it really lived in the medium and made very specific artistic choices because it exists so comfortably in its own skin. It freely references comic book tropes, mixes 2D and 3D animation to great effect, and even does some absolutely gorgeous shots that look almost like traditional cell animation with a painted background. I was blown away by it. Even just little things, like the way the animation has halftone gradient effects subtly all through it.

Oh yeah, and it’s fucking HILARIOUS.

I was not prepared for this movie and what it did to my heart while I was laughing hysterically. I don’t think you can be. And I haven’t even touched on the spoilers–let’s talk about challenging expectations and examining preconceptions–because for once I’m glad I went into something unspoiled.

You should go see it.