Categories
tv

Into the Badlands: Episodes 4-6

Okay, first off, WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT THE FIRST SEASON IS ONLY SIX EPISODES.I would have, I don’t know, slowed my binge down slightly. Just watched two episodes a night instead of three. BUT FINE. At least it looks like I’ll be able to catch up into season 2 with the AMC Xbox app.

Battle of the Sexes

What I was seeing in the first three episodes with the misogyny of Quinn’s barony and the Widow’s pushback has left subtext and gone straight into text. At least according to the Widow, who tells Tilda that they’re in this to create a world where men can’t hurt little girls (like the Widow’s former husband hurt young Tilda) any more. And there’s even more of a battle of the sexes setup as we find out Zypher has teamed up with the Widow and plans to off her master Baron Jacobee and take his barony for himself.

Though there is of course the hefty implication that putting the Widow and Zephy in power isn’t going to herald some golden age of matriarchal Utopia. If nothing else, they’re fighting to be top dogs in a sick system that just propagates abuse of power, rather than trying to overthrow the system itself. They promise things will change once they’re in charge, and I’m sure there would be some changes, but that still makes for a bad society.

Take the Widow stealing all of Quinn’s cogs. While she’s obviously got a plan to treat them better than he did—it would be hard to treat them worse—they’re still basically enslaved people. And then we find out that along with striking a blow against Quinn’s ability to run his barony, she took all the cogs so she could see if any of them was the special boy she’s been hunting for?

Yeah, new boss, same as the old boss. Though I’d still much rather be on Team Widow than Team Quinn.

I do think what saves this from being a straight on battle of the sexes thing (which I would be less on board with, to be honest) is that we get the hint that it’s not just women planning the coup—Waldo is the inside man in Quinn’s territory, even though we were initially faked into believing it was Ryder being used as a tool. And Waldo’s very clear that he’s looking to see the system itself get taken down and changed, which makes me wonder if he’s got plans of his own that the Widow and Zypher don’t know about.

Looking forward to seeing more of Waldo, that’s all I can say. That old guy gets cooler every time I see him.

Of Monks and MK

MK is still my least favorite character of the series, followed by Ryder. Because frankly, one of the major whirring engines of the plot is male entitlement, personified by both of these whiney little jerks. I’m just hoping they eventually get what’s coming to them.

But anyway, the major highlight of this second set of three episodes for me (other than the Widow dual wielding morning stars HELLO) was the monks. Mysterious badass brothers (one of whom sure doesn’t look like a brother, btw) showing up to collect MK and stick him in another chest just like the one he popped out of in the first episode. That was one hell of a fight scene, with some massive implications that MK getting carried away might actually be the best thing for all involved.

Of course, the mystery has also widened out about where the fuck MK came from, because it’s apparently the same place Sunny came from? Only Sunny doesn’t go all evil when someone cuts him, and there’s no sign that he had that problem in his childhood and outgrew it. And apparently the Widow is also from that special place, if you can believe a word she says? That also implies that there’s more than one kind of special kid that comes out of that city, but why? How are they special in their different ways? Argh!

Stop Asking Sunny Questions He Can’t Answer

I feel like the poor guy ends half his scenes facing an unanswerable question and looking really upset about it. No wait, don’t stop doing that to him, it’s making for some pretty good character development on his part. Sunny keeps getting more complex as a character, because there’s always the question of how much he’s doing out of trained habit, residual loyalty, or an attempt to maintain the appearance of residual loyalty because he knows damn well that he and Veil are still entirely in Quinn’s power. Like when he’s going to do as ordered and torture Tilda—he’s not going to somehow become sympathetic to the Widow’s side just because Quinn’s a dick and Sunny’s done with everything. Sunny’s on Team Sunny and Veil, and he’s of the opinion that maintaining the status quo gives the two of them (and MK) their best chance at getting out alive.

I think there might have still been a little of his duty to Quinn left in him until the end, when Quinn put a stake through its heart with his own two hands. At which point everything was ruined anyway, so I was beyond glad that Sunny got to kill Quinn himself. It was a satisfying moment that needed to happen, but of course plays into Quinn’s taunt that Sunny will always be a killer—but it’s not like Sunny could have just walked away at that point.

Poor Sunny. Next season looks like it’s going to be even tougher on him.

Lydia and Jade

Honestly, I felt like who really shone in these last few episodes were Lydia and Jade, because they finally got the room to really lay out their quiet but deadly internal political struggle. Both of them always trying to pretend that this time, they’d be the peacemaker, and they really do have to face this situation with Quinn together, while hating each other’s guts in a visceral way that not even Sunny matched when he ran Quinn through.

Honestly, I was surprised when Jade made the move, and I found that gratifying. Jade’s struck me the whole time as being kind of drunk on her power, maybe riding the ragged edge of disaster by playing father and son (and then wife/mother) all against each other. Especially when Quinn seemed to know very well what was going on. But she got her shit together enough to figure out how to out-game Lydia, and it was devastating.

We ended the season seeing Lydia reborn, in her own way, driven back to the religious cult that birthed her after taking no end of insult from her own son about it. I doubt we’ve seen the last of Lydia, and I can’t help thinking—Dad made her promise to renounce her physical possessions, sure. But nowhere did he make her promise to renounce vengeance, and vengeance ain’t a physical possession. We haven’t seen the last of Lydia, and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Collision Course

Honestly, at this point I feel like Into the Badlands has set a bunch of extremely powerful women on a collision course, and I couldn’t be more excited. For all that Sunny is definitely the viewpoint character of the show and we’re getting his emotional and moral journey, all of the most truly dangerous, strongest people are turning out to be the women: the Widow, Zypher, Lydia, Jade, and even Veil. Because did we see Veil’s maneuvering that got her out of the clutches of both Quinn and the Widow? That woman is a mountain that will not be worn down. She’ll outlast you all.

I hope the series lives up to this promise. Let’s go, season tw

Categories
tv

Into the Badlands: Episodes 1-3

In the massive backlash about the unnecessary whiteness of Netflix’s Iron Fist and then the reviews coming in to highlight that it’s apparently boring as shit and is full of lazy martial arts suck, I’ve been hearing a lot about Into the Badlands. The first season was available on Netflix, so I decided what the hell, let’s give it a whirl. I sat down to watch the first episode with my housemates, which became the first three episodes, which would have become the first four if we all hadn’t really needed to go to bed for work at that point.

Now I know I’m in trouble, because I don’t have cable and can’t subscribe to AMC the way I have to HBO. But that won’t hurt me until I’ve run out of episodes. Um.

Anyway, I’m going to blog as I go. Spoilers shall abound, obviously, because I’m going to just react to what I’ve watched.

Goddamn It’s Pretty

The first three episodes are fucking gorgeous. It’s got a saturated color pallet that shifts depending on the scene, which is amazing for setting tone and even speaking to the characters involved. It’s so colorful! From the start, seeing Sunny’s red coat-of-total-badass-+3, I knew it was going to be something different. It’s got a hyper-real, almost video game feel at times, like you just tripped and fell into a backdrop from a jrpg or something.

And the camera work, especially in the fight scenes. My god. In the first episode, there’s a fight that takes place in the rain, in a street partially covered in water. Moments of slow motion often get overused or poorly used these days in fight scenes, but this was gorgeous in its use. Particularly the use of water reminded me of one of the most beautiful fights in Hero.

And Speaking of Fights, Holy Shit

I feel like this series is going to be governed by the laws of kung fu movies a lot—you can feel when the fights are coming, and there will always be fights. And there’s the classic, beloved, badguys-form-a-ring-around-the-good-guy thing. It’s all very conscious in its formula, and if you love kung fu movies like I do, it’s going to speak directly to you.

Beyond that, these scenes are good. The foot work is solid. There’s that quality of a well-rehearsed fight where it’s got the feeling of back and forth exchange, where the fight itself is telling a story. And stylistically, every character has their own style that suits their personality. Sunny’s first fight is utterly, almost comically brutal in how he deals with the bandits, showing how tough he is as an enforcer for Quinn. But in his later fights, there’s style in there that feels much more like classic wuxia to me, hinting that he really is a hero and good beneath it all.

And the Widow. My god, the Widow. I love that here’s actually a point to her high heels. And the first time we see her fight, it’s all in close and hidden daggers and her sprouting weapons you never would have guessed she had. And that’s her down to the core, someone to never be underestimated. When she fights Quinn, they’re diametrically opposed, where he’s brutal and straight in and ultimately wins by overpowering people, whereas she comes at everything from an angle and never holds still.

In the first three episodes, they did something different with every fight, told a different story. I’m excited to see more. In a TV series it’s got to be harder to keep up interest and keep finding innovative ways for people to punch and stab each other, but the first three episodes have given me a lot of faith.

Misogyny

Well, I mean, when we see Quinn’s Barony, it’s basically a Handmaid’s Tale kind of wet dream. We see no female Clippers. All of the Clippers-in-training are called Colts, which really just highlights that it’s all boys, full stop. Quinn apparently gets to have multiple wives. While I was enjoying the setting already, that made me kind of leery because I didn’t really want to watch a show where it’s basically female oppression free-for-all with pretty punching.

Enter the Widow. I thought all right, this might be getting interesting since it’s obviously a set conflict between her—whom Quinn constantly tries to discredit as a Baron in her own right, subtext being because she’s female—and the super misogynist Baron. Then we actually get to the Widow’s territory and see that her most elite enforcers are all female, and she seems to refer to all of them(?) as her daughters. So now it’s a conflict between a toxic patriarchy and an apparent matriarchy. (Which is much less toxic in that we do see men actually doing things in the Widow’s world.)

The Widow does have a name, by the way, but it seems she’s take on “the Widow” as almost a title of pride—like if she won’t have “Baron” out of the mouths of people, she will have something. She’s obviously not in any kind of state of true mourning. She also does the classic “use a guy’s misogynistic attitude against him” several times in her own right, or by siccing Tilda on the bandits, for example. So there is a satisfaction to seeing misogyny get weaponized against men, but… it’s also a prevalent thing in TV. Better than the alternative of just wall to wall misogyny though, I suppose.

Then in the third episode I watched, by the way, we find out that another Baron has a female Clipper as his regent. Okay, this is awesome to know. Obviously, the Barons each set the tone for their own territory, and Quinn is a special kind of turd. But now I want to know more about the world!

I mean, no matter where you are, it pretty obviously sucks to be someone who’s not a baron.

Young Men

By the way, I find both of the young male characters in the series insufferable, for different reasons. Ryder is a very classic disappointment of a son who is trying very hard to impress daddy and struggle for power in an underhanded way because he can’t come at daddy overtly. I basically want to punch him every time he’s on screen, which I suppose makes him a good villain? His face isn’t quite as punchable as Eddie Redmayne playing the rather similar in character Balem Abrasax, but my goodness.

I mean, it does make sense in a conversation with modern society that the bad guy we’re building up should be an entitled, (white) manchild. Because I’m predicting that Quinn’s days are numbered and Ryder isn’t going to have some kind of redemption arc.

And then MK. I am incredibly glad that Sunny is the main character of this series and not MK, because I’d probably nope the hell out instead of wanting to watch more. MK’s problem seems to be that he’s a teenager, and he wants what he wants now. I’m not going to say this isn’t normal for his age and situation, I just find it frustrating because he’s very one-note so far.  And I’m utterly mystified why most everyone but Waldo (and Sunny) seem to find this charming, or at least not murderously annoying. I’m guessing Sunny sees a lot of himself in MK, but goodness. And why does Tilda keep sticking her neck out for him? It’s a mystery.

I do find it hilarious that MK is basically the damsel in distress that Sunny has to keep rescuing, though.

Waldo and Veil

Waldo and Veil as characters are awesome for totally different reasons. But awesome nonetheless.

Veil is basically the strongest person in the show. She has managed to deal with Quinn on multiple occasions, even knowing that he murdered her parents with his own two hands, and hasn’t broken. She is quiet, but she is a rock.

And Waldo beat the snot out of MK while looking totally bored, and I love him. I want him to be my grandpa.

Hope I get to watch more episodes soon.

Categories
writing

FAQ: Will there be a sequel?

In case you didn’t notice… I HAVE A BOOK OUT AAAAAAAAAAA

And a lot of wonderful, intelligent, incredibly good-looking people with impeccable taste have been asking me if there will be a sequel. And the answer is… YES!

As a matter of fact, funny story, but I literally typed “THE END” on the rough draft for the sequel two days after Hunger Makes the Wolf was released in the US. I am in the process of editing it right now. MAYBE EVEN AS YOU READ THIS VERY POST.

I can’t tell you much more about it than that at the moment because I don’t want to get turned into a shuriken pincushion by the Angry Robot MechaNinja Squad(TM), but I can assure you of the following:

  • You will find out what the Bone Collector’s deal is
  • You will find out more about what the fuck is up with this weird-ass planet anyway
  • There is more Mag, more Hob, and a lot more swearing
  • Things will get blown up

If you’d like to get the updates as they come, hey, I have a mailing list!

I appreciate all the support and kind things y’all have had to say about my sweary space witch biker lady friendship book so far. It’s meant a lot to me! And if I can ask one more favor… if you enjoyed it enough that you want a sequel, pretty please go at least rate the book on Goodreads if you do that, Amazon, or wherever you happened to buy it from. That really, really does help. Reviews are like unexpected unbirthday presents! Also, if you have a card at your local library, consider asking them to get the book so other people can enjoy it. 

(All of the above are amazing gifts to give any author whose work you enjoy.)

And if you haven’t read the book yet, now’s your chance! You know I’m not going to leave you hanging sequel-less. And look, people have been saying all kinds of super nice things about Hunger Makes the Wolf:

“It has a wonderful weird west vibe and some of the phrasing is simply delicious. Hob is a wonderful character to follow – hers is a solid journey and I got a bit choked up when Hob stood up for what she wanted. Alex crafts a host of fascinating characters here – the Weathermen, the Bone Collector – and I reckon you’re going to love their adventures.”
– E Catherine Tobler, author of the Folley & Mallory Adventures and The Kraken Sea

“This thing drips with tension – between characters, within the story itself – that makes it impossible to put down. I needed to know what would happen next, what would Hob do. Tanegawa’s World may be a desolate and uninviting terrain, but it provides fertile ground for the characters,who truly blossom on the page.”
– Shana DuBois for B&N Sci-Fi & Fantasy Blog

“It’s a science fiction Western thriller, and it is great, and I’m really, intensely, eagerly looking forward to the sequel. This is the sort of thing I really like. UP WITH THIS SORT OF THING.”
– Liz Bourke, for Tor.com

“The story is a fast-paced, edge-of-your-seat space opera, tied together with the characters’ struggles, adventures, and mishaps. If you’ve ever thought, “You know what Dune needed more of? More magic and a biker gang!” then this book was written for you.”
– The Canary Review

“I was expecting a fun, quick space adventure read, but this story is so much more than that.”
– Helen Lindley

“This one definitely makes it into my ‘Highly Recommended’ stack. I’d pick this one up for sure if you’re looking for a fun action romp with some unique and amazing female characters.”
– All Booked Up Blog

“I’m always excited when I find a new book that makes me stay up all night reading because I simply can’t put it down. I’m doubly excited when that book is the first in a brand new series. Hunger Makes the Wolf is both those things. Needless to say that I’m absolutely in love.”
– Elena Linville’s Tower of Winds

“This is a very cool novel. Hunger Makes the Wolf is a fun, fast, gripping read.”
– The Irresponsible Reader

“Hunger Makes the Wolf is an entrancing addition to any science-fiction lover’s collection. The clever prose alone is enough to grab your attention, but what really makes this novel shine is how immersive it is. The worldbuilding is meticulous, the characters are multifaceted and original, and the present themes are timely and inspiring.”
– RT Book Reviews

“I have to commend Alex Wells, this book was a genuine pleasure. Just goes to prove, irrespective of genre, you can’t go wrong with well-rounded characters and a plot that zips along at a good pace.”
– The Eloquent Page

“Grab any science fiction book and you’ll see they all have the exact same thing in common: the plots and devices of the stories are all predictable and never stray out of bounds. They hardly even push the envelope and, with great joy, I’m glad the author never got that memo. Here’s why: Wells adds magic to the mix. It’s a stroke of genius I’ve been waiting for Peter F Hamilton or Alastair Reynolds to pull off to no avail.”
– The Splattergeist

“It’s a well-conceived, smartly plotted, enthusiastically fast-paced sci-fi adventure with some cool ideas and a couple of excellent lead characters who’ve got plenty growing still to do in future books.”
– SF Bluestocking

“This is one gem of a story you shouldn’t miss out on.”
– Smorgasbord Fantasia

“I will be picking up future volumes.”
– James Nicoll Reviews

“Sharp, honed, and brilliant.”
– Skiffy & Fanty

“Obvious parallels to Frank Herbert’s Dune will draw readers into this action-packed tale of tyranny and rebellion, but Wells’s character developments take the plot in new directions, leaving the possibility of a sequel.”
– Library Journal

“Hunger Makes the Wolf is a great bit of sci-fi with a dash of fantasy, all cleverly disguised as a brutal, kick-ass western. I want more!”
– Michael Patrick Hicks

“Angry Robot has really upped its game lately; this is one of their best recent releases. Strong debut and I hope for a sequel to start answering a few more of my questions.”
– Fantasy Review Barn

Thank you, everyone. Keep reading!

PS: Slightly-less-FAQ answer: Why yes, Coyote and Dambala are totally banging. They’re basically shitbag murderhusbands.

Categories
personal politics

Things I remember from the strike

I grew up in a union house. My dad was a chief steward in the CWA (local 7750). I remember there being one strike (and the threat of others) when I was growing up. Looking at the CWA history, I’m pretty sure this is what I remember:

1986: Post Divestiture Bargaining

1986 presented CWA with its first negotiations with the post-divestiture telephone industry. Twelve years after CWA had achieved national bargaining, the union was forced back to the old multiple table way of bargaining. CWA had to bargain not only with AT&T, but with the independent RBOCs and their subsidiaries. National bargaining had been replaced by 48 different bargaining tables.

In the AT&T negotiations, the company attempted to take back health care benefits, lower clerical wages, and eliminate cost of living adjustments obtained in earlier contracts. CWA had no choice but to strike. The strike lasted 26 days and AT&T agreed to provide wage and employment security improvements and retain the health care benefits intact. Although the negotiations with the RBOCs were also difficult, they were less contentious than those with AT&T. Strikes were necessary against some of these operating companies, but none lasted more than a few days.

So I was five going on six at the time. Needless to say, my memories aren’t that sharp or specific. But things I do remember?

  • Going with my dad to where the everyone met and getting food for our house. Also getting my fingernails and toenails painted because I was wearing sandals. I’m pretty sure this is from the strike, but don’t quote me.
  • Learning what “scabs” are, and that they’re bad. Well, of course they’re bad, I thought. Scabs are pretty gross, and you pick them off and flick them away, and then whats underneath is all gross and oozy. Why would you want to be like a scab?
  • My parents not wanting to buy things or spend money because they didn’t know how long the strike would last.
  • Having a play picket line with my older brother outside our house, because we saw dad with his sign for the picket line. My brother had a sign on a stick. I had a little sandwich board sign made with poster board and string.

That’s honestly it. When you’re that young, things don’t impact you the same way. And I think my parents worked hard to make sure we didn’t really know what the financial situation was like… because you try to keep your kids out of those worries until they’re too big to hide.

I was a member of the CWA for the just shy of six years that I worked for AT&T, later. There was one time when we had a strike vote–I voted yes, but at the time a lot of my coworkers argued with me, because they thought the union was pointless and what they were going after wasn’t worth a strike. I had my doubts at the time (I was young and stupid and that’s a whole other blog post – and I also didn’t have much of a strike fund saved up, so that was scary too) but I was glad about being union later when I needed my rep to sit in a couple meetings between me and my supervisor. And I was weirdly glad that because of the union, I knew when my job was on the layoff chopping block, because I was low on the seniority list. I’d rather get let go for that than because I didn’t suck up to my boss sufficiently.

Anyway.

This post brought to you by me taking a break from writing about the Ludlow Massacre and feeling angry. And because the WGA West has asked its membership for strike authorization and I’m already seeing people (who aren’t writers) bitching about it because they don’t want their TV shows interrupted when the world is a fiery political hell pit.

People don’t strike because it’s fun. It disrupts your life in ways you can’t imagine and can fuck you over financially even if you win in the end. People strike because the companies never stop trying to push workers further down the hole. Because it’s the only way the workers have to defend themselves from a line getting crossed. So I’m sorry if it inconveniences you, but the writers (or communications workers, or electricians, or truckers, or grocery store workers or…) aren’t the ones you should bitch at. The bosses trying to kill them by inches are.

It’s not greedy to want a decent life for yourself and your loved ones, and it’s not out of line to want your labor (and writing is labor, fuck off) to be respected. If you already have that good of a life, don’t shit on people trying to get to that level. And if you don’t have what they do, why the fuck are you shitting on them for wanting better, and why aren’t you fighting for better for yourself?

In 1886, during the Great Southwest Railroad Strike, Jay Gould (owner of the Union Pacific and Missouri Pacific Railroads) famously said: “I can hire one-half of the working class to kill the other half.”

Whose side are you on?

Categories
books politics

Thoughts upon finishing Stamped From the Beginning

The subtitle on Stamped From the Beginning is “The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America.” And Ibram X. Kendi is not fucking around on this one. This book took me an unusually long time to read—not because it was unpleasant, or even overly dense (as sometimes history books are), but because there’s a lot there, and the subject matter is extremely challenging.

I’m really glad I read it. Really, really glad. I encourage you to take the time to read and digest and mull it over as well. Buy the book, check it out from the library like I did, but go get it.

I’m going to think out loud on a couple of the points Kendi made that drew the most blood from me. But my mulling things over out loud should not be in any way a replacement for reading the book and getting Kendi’s thoughts first hand. Goodness knows I’m missing nuance and have my own major blind spots.

Continue reading “Thoughts upon finishing Stamped From the Beginning”
Categories
Uncategorized

It’s book day!

Hey, so I don’t know if you heard about this, but I kind of wrote this little book called Hunger Makes the Wolf and TODAY IT WAS RELEASED IN THE US AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I mean my goodness, isn’t that beautiful? ISN’T THAT BADASS? And it’s a dead tree book, too! I’ve held it in my hands! I’ve listened in mingled horror and awe as my housemate read a book it took me six years to write in four and a half hours! IT’S REAL.

In my extremely humble opinion, you should go out immediately and buy a copy, which you will give to your best friend. Then buy another copy. You know. To spread the love. You can get the book at ACTUAL FOR REAL BRICK AND MORTAR BOOK STORES as well asAmazon and Barnes and Noble. Also! If you want your ebook to be of the DRM-free variety, head to the Angry Robot site.

Oh, and did I mention? IT’S AN AUDIO BOOK TOO!

AAAAAAAAAAA this is the most exciting day ever.

Categories
politics

Open Letter to Governor Hickenlooper

I sent this to the governor of Colorado, John Hickenlooper today, after seeing the AP story about a Trump administration draft memo regarding mobilization of the National Guard to be used to round up undocumented immigrants. Yes, I am aware that we’re talking a draft, but I find it seriously horrifying that this is even being talked about as an option, however off-handedly or unseriously. This is not a thing you fucking joke about.

Anyway, that prompted me to write and send the following message today. I’m sharing it in the hope that others will feel encouraged to send similar messages.

#

Dear Governor Hickenlooper:

Per the Associated Press today, a draft memo from the Trump Administration showed they’re thinking about using the National Guard to round up undocumented immigrants. Considering the absolutely tragic and shameful history of our own state when it comes to the National Guard being mobilized against our citizens and residents (i.e.: the Ludlow Massacre), this calls on us all to speak firmly against this notion before it can gather steam.

Beyond that, undocumented immigrants are a vital part of Colorado society. It would be far better if they could have a path to legal citizenship or permanent residency, but lack of national will does not change the enormous contributions they make to Colorado daily. We should be respecting and protecting all of our residents, whether they have papers or not.

I urge you to speak out in strong support of undocumented Coloradans, and do everything in your power to keep their families from being torn apart by these unfair and racist policies we keep seeing from Washington DC. Make us a sanctuary state; while I know we can’t stop ICE, we can refuse to aide and abet the destruction of families and the victimization of innocent people who are integral to the fabric of Colorado.

With a lack of national will, it falls to us to step up and show our strength of spirit and compassion. I know Colorado is better than what our national government is currently trying to become.

Thank you.

Categories
suffering for charity

50 Shades of Nuh-uh.

All right, I’m flinging up my hands on this. I’ve poked at the 50 Shades Darker fundraiser repeatedly, and I think I’m basically shouting into the overwhelming roar of THE WORLD BEING ON FUCKING FIRE, so I don’t feel that bad, really. Also, the few responses I’ve gotten at all to trying to fundraise off the oncoming Valentine’s shitshow were, “No honey, I can’t do that to you.”

I love you too, guys, though I did volunteer for this gig. But I can’t say I’m sad that I’m not going to have to have yet more pop ballads ruined for me forever. (Seriously. Every time one of the songs that got used in 50 Shades of Gray comes on, I attempt to rip my radio out of my car to make it stop because I still remember that fucking awful movie.) I’m also imagining all of the disposable donation money is currently being flung at worthy causes like the ACLU and Standing Rock and the NAACP and CAIR because, again, THE WORLD IS ON FUCKING FIRE, so I can’t begrudge anyone that. We all have limited resources.

I guess my question is to you, people who enjoy listening to me rant about fucking awful movies I watched while drunk, is this moment over? Should I find a different way to humiliate myself in public to get people to fling money at charity? (And wait to do it until the world is no longer ON FUCKING FIRE?) Should I attempt this shindig one more time when the next Transformers movie comes out, because at least it will be less sexually disgusting okay well maybe, I mean we are talking about the franchise in which dudes metaphorically pissing on each other’s legs over the virginity of an underage girl was a major plot point?

What say you?

Categories
oil and gas

Stop using me and workers like me as a shield, you fucking asshole.

Today I met another refugee from the oil industry. This happens so often it’s like work is one giant reunion. Probably because construction is an industry where there’s a lot of crossover in skill sets, and it’s booming, so there are actually jobs. If you were a geologist, you can find a second life as a dirt guy. If you were an engineer, you can translate that over pretty easily to pipeline projects and the like.

“Oh yeah,” he told me. “They got me two years ago when the price per barrel hit $50. Day after that happened, me and all the other old timers were gone.” Then he laughed bitterly.

Yeah, I know the feeling, I said. I made it through two rounds of cuts and then they canned me in March 2016 because nothing had improved.

I have conversations like this every. fucking. day.

And you want to know why so many of us lost our jobs? I’ll give you a hint: it has fucking nothing to do with regulations, environmental or otherwise, on the petroleum industry. What got us all was the global price-per-barrel of crude oil. Here, if you want to see how dependent we are on that price, just take a look at measures like rig-count versus oil price in recent days.

At the time I got made redundant, there were a lot of pet theories floating around about why the oil price tanked. I don’t know if it’s now been clearly established, because frankly, I stopped caring as soon as I put the rubber to the road and got the fuck out of Houston. I do know that the favored pet theory of everyone I talked to back then was that OPEC opened the spigots because they were trying to drive all the foreign oil companies out of the Middle East.

But I can tell you what exactly NO ONE blamed the drop in price on: industry regulation.

And this? THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT.

The problem with the oil industry, the reason so many of us lost our jobs, is entirely on the supply side. There’s too much fucking supply versus demand, so the price drops. This is macro economics 101. This is not complicated. Deregulating the industry to make it easier for people to drill and produce is not going to solve this problem, because it will add more supply. At the absolute most, maybe it’ll produce a few short-term field jobs while the super cheap leases are getting developed just enough to hold on to them. Maybe it’ll keep a few struggling companies afloat longer and save a few jobs that currently exist by making production a little more economical until there’s so much of a glut that the bottom falls out again.

But it’s not going to bring my job back. It’s not going to bring any of our jobs permanently back. And what it’ll cost in environmental damage, in the loss of our common treasure as Americans, is far too high a price for very little actual benefit.

But this was never about me, or about people like me, or even people like my lovely ex Mike, who is still clinging to his job in Houston by the skin of his teeth. It was never about us and our lost jobs and severely depressed wages as we fled to other industries and our pensions that we will never see.

It. Was. Never. About. Us.

You know who this bullshit will help? Companies big enough that they can hunker down through these bust cycles and snatch up land for pennies on the dollar. Companies so big they can produce just enough to keep their leases going and eat the fact that it’s not profitable. Well, those companies and their major stockholders, I suppose.

People like, I don’t know, Trump’s nominee for secretary of state. Just throwing that out there.

Every time this bullshit comes up, I get so angry I can’t see straight. Because it is literally me and people like my fellow geologists and former roughnecks who are barely scraping by on jobs that pay us less than half of what we used to make–while many of us are still struggling to pay back our student loans we took out under the promise that we were heading into good, lifelong careers–being used as a shield by rich motherfuckers. It’s me and the other oil industry refugees that I see on construction sites every goddamn day getting used as a shield behind which our public lands will get looted and our public waterways will get polluted and we’ll all be left holding the tab for the cleanup because we’ll have even fewer ways to hold these companies accountable. It’s us who they’re trying to shift the blame to when people see black tides rolling into their back yards get really angry–I mean, it was for us to get jobs, right?

This was never and has never and will never be about the regular assholes like me who worked outside boardrooms and collected paychecks instead of massive stock options. And I’m done with it. I’m fucking done with it.

Please feel free to link anyone who actually believes this disingenuous bullshit to this page. Please print out one hundred copies and then roll them up into a paper nightstick you can use to beat people who don’t get this point over the head.

STOP LYING.

WE ARE NOT YOUR SHIELD.

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movie

[Movie] Moana

I’m not that big of an animation person any more, but I’ve been excited to see this movie ever since I heard the Lin-Manuel Miranda was involved in the music. And I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would, though not without reservation.

In Moana, the titular character is the daughter of her village’s chieftain, so will follow in his place as chief. There’s a blight that’s spread to their island, thanks to the mischievous demigod Maui having stolen the heart of the goddess Te Fiti. Moana embarks on a journey to find Maui and make him fix his mistake, and in so doing, takes her people back out onto the open ocean.

In all honesty, the main bits of this movie I wasn’t utterly charmed by involved Maui. The character felt very off, going from egotistical trickster to suddenly having a sort of angsty backstory to… justify him being a jerk, I guess. I make no claims to know how accurate or inaccurate he is to his legends (though I get the impression after some googling that he is upsettingly inaccurate), but he came across as a very standard sort of bully boy character who eventually makes good more because the script says so than because his character development makes that much sense.

There were also things I was puzzled about, like the Kakamora–evil little animated coconuts, as far as I could tell–showing up in a rig that looked like a homage to Mad Max: Fury Road. My only guess is it was a sequence created to justify a line of toys, because it really didn’t to anything in the movie. Though I actually did find them less offensive than the random troll things in Frozen, perhaps because they still somehow made more sense.

But aside from Maui (and that’s a big aside considering he’s the main supporting character to Moana), there is so much about the movie that I loved. I loved that Moana’s story doesn’t pivot on romance, but rather a quest to discover who she is, who her people are, and to save their way of life. I loved that Moana is a gorgeous brown girl that my nieces (who are also gorgeous brown girls) got to watch saving the day. Moana is truly their princess. I loved that Moana’s grandmother is a independent and happily odd old lady, who is her granddaughter’s spiritual guide. Grandma was the MVP of the film and tied with Moana for being my favorite character.

And then there was this:

Not ashamed to admit it: this song made me cry. Not because I was sad, but because I was so awed by the sheer ingenuity and beauty of humanity. This song is about the Polynesians traveling vast distances between islands in their voyaging canoes, which is one of those historic wonders that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough. And reading more about this wonder lead me to find out about the Hōkūle’a Voyaging Canoe, which is a modern recreation of those ancient voyages.

I’m not too big into animated movies any more, but this was a good one and worth watching. If you want to read a bit further about the history of the Polynesian voyages (among other things), this was a good place to start: How does the story of Moana and Maui holds up against cultural truths?