Tag: writing

Categories
rants someone is wrong on the internet writing

Yeah, whatever happened to starving like a *real* artist?

Sameer Rahim, are you fucking kidding me?

I know people rarely get to write their own headlines, so I tried not to just punch my laptop in the screen when I saw this one: Whatever happened to writing for love, not money?

But the article isn’t any better.

I know they have to eat, but when did it all become about the money? The time when writers could live comfortably off their income was an anomaly of the Eighties and Nineties. These days, apart from a few big-money payouts for the next big thing, publishers are going back to being as cautious as they were before. And why shouldn’t they? Everyone else is tightening their belts.

I know you have kids and a mortgage, guys, but why should you expect to be able to make a living off a craft you’ve been perfecting for years? The art should be its own reward! Starving is awesome, it makes you all thin and waif-like and then maybe you’ll get consumption and it’s so romantic.

Call me a romantic but it might actually benefit a writer not to rely on books as their main source of income.

There is nothing in that sentence that I would call romantic. Because there is nothing in the least bit romantic about having to work a shit job to make ends meet while you attempt to write in your rapidly dwindling spare time. There is also nothing in the least bit romantic about working an awesome office day job like I do and then attempting to write in your rapidly dwindling spare time.

I would actually argue that there’s some good to doing a bit of work, volunteer or otherwise, outside your field at all times just because it gives you a chance to meet people and be in new situations and talk to others you wouldn’t necessarily talk to. That’s idea fuel right there. But trying to work two full time jobs is a good way to destroy your health and sanity and never have time to recharge.

Alternatively, I have heard it suggested that, rather as the bankers were bailed out by the, state so authors should be given public subsidies – the perils of which should be obvious. This isn’t China.

Yeah, I know man. Writers and dancers and sculptors won’t stop trying to crash the economy with their irresponsible gambling. (Also, special bonus for gross China reference. A+)

Luckily, the freedom offered by the internet offers a chance to resurrect the idea of writing for love, not money.

The notion was never dead. People have always been writing for love rather than money. The internet just makes distribution easier.

So far online self-publishing has been the preserve of fan fiction and erotica but it can’t be long before high-quality fiction starts to emerge.

Wow. Every time I think you can’t get more insulting, you do. Frankly, there is plenty of fanfic out there that is of publishable quality. And there’s also some damn good erotica out there too.

Right now there is a distressed writer sitting in front of her computer somewhere, worrying not about whether she’ll make enough money to give up the day job or how many copies she will sell, but obsessing over form and language, meaning and truth.

Yeah, and you know what helps the writer hone those skills that go into the art? Having some fucking time to practice them. If you’re working 40+ hours a week (and heaven help you if you have kids) your time to practice the actual craft of writing is severely limited. And then on top of it when more and more often you’re having to act as your own publicist? Eats up even more of that time. And what your readers want are books, regular as clockwork, and those books are damn hard to write and much slower to produce if they are not the main focus of your energy.

So what, people should only get paid for doing work they find hideous and agonizing? The only people who should get paid, then, are perhaps janitors, garbagemen, soldiers, and so on. Not politicians or professional athletes or scientists. Certainly not successful actors or dancers or fashion designers. Or are artists just the exception to the rule because we don’t actually produce something you deem personally worthy? Or is it just writers who are the exception, because we’re not real in our art unless we’re fucking miserable?

(This ignores the fact that being fucking miserable and depressed is not a good way to produce art.)

What bothers me most about this piece, which is so full of bullshit the stench will never leave my keyboard, is the idea that you should be happy not getting paid for work so long as it’s work you enjoy. Work is work. It requires time and energy and a big chunk of the limited lifespan you have on Earth if you want to be any good at it. And this same argument has been used for years to try to justify things like keeping the wages of teachers severely depressed. Yeah, you teach because you love it, right? It’s so irresponsible of you to want to make a decent living. The smiles of children and the glow of a job well done should pay for your housing and the clothing of your own children.

Tell me, Mr. Rahim, did you write this piece for free?

Categories
trip report writing advice

I’m in London! And current rejection stats.

The two are not related.

Just I’ve been talking to a few writers who are even newer to this than me and I wanted to give some perspective on the short story submission thing. I’ve now had 20 sales, not counting reprints. Out of 20 short story sales:

  • Average number of rejections per sale: 6.85
  • Fewest rejections before publication: 0
  • Most rejections before publication: 20

Keep in mind that my sales range from pro to semi-pro to one that was token payment. I don’t submit stories to non-paying markets, period. I also have 9 stories that I’ve trunked without selling, because I stopped believing in them.

The three stories I consider to be the best I’ve written thus far—Comes the Huntsman, The Heart-Beat Escapement, and They Tell Me There Will Be No Pain—received 3, 7, and 4 rejections respectively before being published.

So basically, just keep bouncing your stories back out into the slush pile until you’ve either run out of markets (in which case you wait for a new one such as an antho to open) or run out of belief in your vision and/or your execution of that vision in writing.

And yes, I am in London right now. I’m enjoying my vacation already in my most splendidly failtastic style, which is to say I do a lot of sleeping and taking my sweet time at the gym and working at the non-geology jobs and typing on the computer while I listen to the ambient sound of a foreign city. That’s how I roll. The flight was good (I got a whole row to myself), the getting to the rental flat was a comedy of errors, and I can’t figure out how to make one of the showers work because I think its controls were put together as a joke. (The Canadian couldn’t figure it out either so you don’t get to blame this on me being a stupid American. Blame the stupid inscrutable British plumbing.)

You know, normal life in the UK when I’m here. Planning to live on a diet of toast, nutella, and bananas for the next week. Generally pleased with everything, looking forward to hanging out with friends. The pay as you go gym is unfortunately further away than I wanted thanks to us being moved to a different flat, but the space is nice. All of the guys in the strength training room very carefully Did Not Notice My Existence, which is how I prefer it. Except for one guy who made an abortive lunge for the bar when I was doing my final rep in a set of 105lb bench presses, so I had to assure him that I totally had it. At which point he started carefully ignoring me as well, but with occasional sidelong glances just to let me know I was worrying him. I try to take these things as adorable, well-meaning helper fails as opposed to anything more frustrating. (But really, people, don’t lunge at the bar unless someone actually asks for help, it’s kind of distracting.)

Looking forward to a relaxing week before Worldcon!

Categories
writing

Things of Mine Wot You Should Read in May

I have two new short stories out, because I am living the dream!

First off, go to Scigentasy and read What Purpose a Heart. Because it is painfully obvious that your morning doesn’t contain nearly enough space opera, ship to ship battles, or lesbians. I’m even more excited because the artwork Scigentasy put with this story is absolutely gorgeous and perfect in every way. So go! Read it! Why haven’t you read it yet?

Also, the second piece of flash I’ve ever managed to write, List of Items Found in Valise on Welby Crescent is out in Shimmer #19. This story has had three different incarnations and gone through over 10 drafts, which is pretty impressive (or potentially depressing) considering it’s less than 500 words long. But it’s an odd little story I wanted to see if I could tell in a strange way, and I’m really pleased with it. The story will be available online in June, but I think you definitely want to read it so much right now that you should buy a copy of Shimmer #19. And as a bonus you’ll get some other awesome fiction too.

Patricia Ash at GearHearts has reviewed The Ugly Tin Orrery and gave it 4/5 gears. If you’ve been missing out on pirates and murder and steam engines designed to jump the tracks, you should really remedy that. Just sayin.

Other exciting things are in the works, which has involved me being in editing hell for the last two weeks. Super exciting things. Unfortunately if I told you, a squadron of ninja would then have to show up at your house and kill you to preserve my honor, so it’s probably for the best that I’m just going to be mysterious and annoying about it.

Categories
ask a geologist writing

[Ask a Geologist] Huge Tracts of Land

This should probably be more appropriately titled “Ask a Lady Geologist” but we all know I hate that term. But this is also not about the geology so much as the real estate.

You know, boobs.

Okay, so a dear friend of mine mentioned a descriptive phrase for body position oft-used in our genre: “She crossed her arms under her breasts,” and questioned the mechanics of it. And also why this needs to be described at all, which I think is a fair question because a lot of times it ends up being empty words that just break up a string of dialog, and at most serves as a tacit HEY THIS CHARACTER HAS BOOBS AND IS NOW PUSHING THEM UP SLIGHTLY WITH HER ARMS FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE, HETEROSEXUAL MALE READER.

So yeah. And for some reason this just amused me enough that I wanted to write an entire blog post about it, so there you go.

First off, mechanics: do we breast-bearing people (who need not actually be “ladies,” by the by) cross our arms under our boobs or not?

The answer is, as is often the case: well, it depends.

Personally, I do the underboob arm cross most of the time. But that’s because on the relative scale of breast real estate, I’m somewhere between townhouse and single-family one-story ranch-style on a postage stamp. In general, the smaller the breasts, the easier it is to cross your arms under them because there’s just less mass you have to move. So I know people who are much more well-endowed than myself who just do the overboob arm cross because it’s too much trouble. And there is a point where the tracts of land are so expansive that arm crossing at all is just not comfortable. Also, the length of one’s arms relative to boob size are also a major factor, it seems. Shorter arms make the underboob cross much less comfortable too.

(And please, keep in mind that I am not the last authority on this issue, and there will be other experiences.)

There’s another factor to consider: clothing.

Certain clothes basically make the true underboob arm cross impossible. Sports bras, for example, just kind of squash the boobs flat  so the natural arm position goes on top of the boobs. Bodices and corsets make things kind of weird because they move the boobs up and thus provide an excellent shelf conducive to relaxed overboob arm crossing. Also, if you’re wearing an exceptionally well-tailored dress shirt or coat, most of the time that actually makes it uncomfortable to cross your arms that way at all, because women’s clothing has a tendency to pull across the shoulders–particularly if you have broad shoulders like me.

Other types of clothing may encourage or require an underboob arm cross. For example, on the rare occasions I am threatened at gun point to wear a dress at a formal occasion and am compelled to wear a strapless bra, all arm crossing immediately becomes under boob because I’m absolutely terrified that thing will pop off if I put any pressure on top of it. (The underwires, evil things that they are, also have an effect.)

And so on.

Another, potentially even more important factor: attitude and environment.

I’ve observed–and done this myself–women crossing their arms over their breasts as a defensive gesture. It’s a way to very deliberately shield yourself from unwanted looks or touches, or at least indicate that yes, this shit is very unwanted. Very. I personally have the tendency to do the overboob arm cross the more tense or attentive I am, because cheating my arms a bit lower requires a more relaxed posture. And I’ll even admit to once or twice IN MY ENTIRE LIFE doing an underboob arm cross as a subtle indication to a person whom I found attractive that hello I have breasts and wonder if you would possibly be interested in arranging to touch them at a later time. (I have included this final example for completeness, but for goodness sake this is an exception to the general case, not a rule, and you had damn well better keep that in mind.) [ETA at 1102:] On the other hand, a friend of mine has now said that she feels the underboob arm cross is actually a defensive, but not angry gesture, while the overboob is defensive and angry. So there you go. MAKE NO ASSUMPTIONS.

I imagine this is a YMMV for other breast-bearing humans.

So yeah. It’s complicated.

And I think the far more important question is to ask why it’s even really necessary in the narrative to mention this anyway. If it’s empty place holder action, why the fuck are you writing empty place holder action to begin with? (No really, ask yourself that because I have a really bad problem with doing that kind of empty action myself and I need to knock it off.) What is this action accomplishing? How does it add to the story? Does it say anything useful about the character? (And “The character has breasts, by the way” is not really that useful.)

Personal aside: by the by, when I write a female character crossing her arms, invariable she crosses her arms over her chest. Because I don’t considering the state of the breasts that important. Hm.

If the action is actually important to the narrative (eg: “She deliberately crossed her arms over her breasts to hide her cleavage from the creepy gaze of the Nice Guy(tm).”) then I’m all for it. But if all it really accomplishes is indicating that the character has boobs and they are Super Perky, well. Eh. Probably not the kind of book I’d be reading anyway, right?

Please file this next to, by the way people don’t usually “notice” they have breasts and then describe them in detail so it’s a little weird to the point of creepy when your POV character does it mmmkay?

ETA at 1107: And I am now having an interesting discussion with some friends about how certain kinds of body language have become over-simplified short-hand for emotional or mental states particularly in writing, probably influenced by bullshit ‘psychology of body language’ pieces. For example, putting your hands in your pockets supposedly means you’re hiding something–when often it really just means that you wanted to do something with your hands other than just let them dangle awkwardly at your sides. Or maybe your hands are cold. Or you’re trying to talk with your hands less. Or you’re just feeling casual. Or who knows what else.

There is no single meaning for any particular sort of body language. And while I understand the utility of making particular gestures shortcuts for complex emotional or mental states (eg: the way body language is used in Noh theater) there needs to be an understanding that there is a separation from reality if we’ve hit that point. Which I don’t think there is right now. And it’s also a valid question on if you want your character actions to be coded in a highly stylized way–and if what is perhaps useful for certain types of theater (where there is normally no inner monolog to inform us of the realities of a character’s thoughts and feelings) is really something that should be utilized in the written word.

And wow this got all next level all of a sudden.

ETA at 1126: 

Results of completely non-scientific arm position relative to boobs during arm cross data collection:

Underboob: 8

Overboob: 5

Both: 2

Neither: 2

Categories
free read writing

I wrote a story! The Heart-Beat Escapement (and a little bonus)

I have a new story out today from Crossed Genres: The Heart-Beat Escapement

Please read and enjoy!

This story is one that went through a lot of drafts–nine in total. It started out about 1500 words longer than it is now.

Something about the way Greensmith says but grates. “I already know that,” Owen snaps. The baby, abandoned in an alleyway and dying; the doctor and the engineer who found him and replaced his malformed heart with one crafted of delicate gears. It was his favorite fairy tale, growing up.

Most of those 1500 words I ended up cutting out of the story were the fairy tale Owen refers to here. Bits of it were interspersed throughout the story to act as section breaks. It ultimately didn’t work right and slowed the story down way too much, which is why I cut it, but I’m still pretty fond of those words. So I thought I’d share those sections (plus a bit extra to make them more coherent) with you as a little bonus–Owen’s bedtime story.

Continue reading “I wrote a story! The Heart-Beat Escapement (and a little bonus)”
Categories
writing year in review

2013: Writing Year in Review

Written This Year

Novels: Still zero. I’ve been plugging away at King’s Hand, but with my other projects that had actual deadlines and finishing up grad school, I didn’t manage to finish anything novel length. Ugh. However, I did full edits (content + line editing) on both Throne of Nightmares and Fire in the Belly so I’ll be ready to throw myself headfirst back into query hell next year.

Shorter Stuff
Flash: 4
Short Stories: 5
Novellettes/Novellas: 5

Other: I wrote a 12-page screen play, just to see if I could. Well, I could. Working on another short screenplay now.

Consigned to the trunk of awfulness, never to return: 5 stories, one of which I wrote this year, four of which were older stories I no longer believe in.

Best/favorite story of the year: Tie between The Curious Case of Miss Clementine Nimowitz (and her Exceedingly Tiny Dog) and List of Items in Leather Valise Found on Welby Crescent. Apparently the way to my heart this year is through very long, silly titles. But I like Clementine because it’s a silly story with a painful heart, and I like List of Items because it’s a story with a painful heart told in an odd way and I’m still astounded I got it to work.

Magic Spreadsheet Wordcount: I started tracking on the magic spreadsheet on June 24. Wordcount is at: 208,559, days in a row written at: 189. For wordcount, I give myself credit on rough draft writing (both original and fanfiction, not that I’ve written much fanfic lately) as well as blog posts. I also give myself 250 words of credit for each chapter of a novel I edit (or completed short story) plus new content wordcount if I’ve had to add a new scene or anything to the piece.

Publishing
Queries sent: 86
Rejections received: 66
Pending: 10
Most rejections received: Just for this year, Silver Fish with 8 rejections; The Heart-Beat Escapement isn’t far behind at 7. Total (and not counting novels because they cheat) Stranger wins at 20 rejections before Silver Blade Magazine accepted it for publication.
Total earned: $1102.86 which is a number I find rather stunning. With going to cons and having bookmarks made, I’m still definitely in the red when it comes to the writing “career” but not nearly as much as I have been in the

Published this year:

  1. Black Smoker Hero from SQ Mag, which also win second place in the Story Quest short story competition. (Technically this was published January 1, but since SQ is Australian, they are one day in the future relative to me.)
  2.  Significant Figures from Strange Horizons (12/16/13) –and a podcast version!
  3. Do Shut Up, Mister Simms from Musa Publishing (11/1/2013) [BN | Amazon | Smashwords | iTunes]
  4. Blood in Elk Creek from Musa Publishing (9/6/2013) [BN | Amazon | Smashwords | iTunes]
  5. Stranger from Silver Blade Magazine
  6. Breaking Orbit from Daily Science Fiction (07/23/13)
  7. Samsara in Waylines issue #4
  8. The Curious Case of Miss Clementine Nimowitz and Her Exceedingly Tiny Dog from Musa Publishing (6/14/2013) [Amazon | BN | Smashwords | iTunes]
  9. Murder on the Titania from Musa Publishing (4/5/2013) [Amazon | BN | Smashwords | Kobo | iTunes]
  10. The Ugly Tin Orrery from Musa Publishing (5/17/2013) [Amazon | BN | Smashwords | Kobo | iTunes]

Slated for 2014: 

  1.  A World of Speculation from Lakeside Circus
  2. The First Bone from Stupefying Stories 
  3. Hyperion from Scape
  4. And Still Champion from The Lorelei Signal
  5. List of Items in Leather Valise Found on Welby Crescent from Shimmer

Stories put online this year: 

  1. Entangled
  2. Utar the Radish Farmer

Goals for 2014: 

  1. Shut up and write.
  2. Finish King’s Hand. NO REALLY I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
  3. Finally get representation nailed down for at least one of my novels. Pretty please?
  4. Finish up birthday story for Mr. TH; got it done a bit early this year. Fix the one from last year since I’m still not happy with it. Work on getting both sold, donate money, etc.
  5. Proposals for three more novellas for Musa, then write them.
  6. Write at least one brave, difficult, strange story that makes me weep at my keyboard.
  7. Just write more in general. My productivity was down from last year, though I certainly sold more! Which has me pleased. But I’m also running short on pieces to send out, so I need to replenish my stockpile.
  8. Complete at least one screenplay of some length good enough to be submitted to… something. I don’t know. I have to do some research on how the screenplay thing works.
Categories
sarcasm science fiction writing

Yes, I am trying to destroy science fiction, thank you for noticing.

God, what does a woman have to do around the internet to get her heathen liberal-fascist* feminazi reverse racist anarcho homosexual agenda aimed at the complete destruction of a literary genre noticed? I was about to start setting shit on fire, I fucking swear.

But it’s okay, guys! Senpai noticed me! (Okay, and a lot of other people, but I’m still getting some dokidoki in my shriveled, blackened little kokoro.) Finally, someone gets what we’ve been trying to do all along! We no longer have to go creeping around under cover of the internet, stealing Edgar Rice Burroughs novels from babies and pushing well meaning white guys (who just want to explain to us that we should stop whining because racism and sexism aren’t actually a thing any more, or wait maybe they are a thing but we should just suck less okay) down the stairs.

I for one am relieved. I’ve hated scifi since the minute I first encountered it. As my mother read The Hobbit to my brother and me as children, I had only two thoughts:

1) I was pretty sure I could take my older brother in a knife fight. If I sacrificed him on the altar if the dark and terrible lesbofeminazi gods, would I grow up to look absolutely fabulous in trousers and have my very own mustache to twirl?

And.

2) I was going to destroy Middle Earth and the rotten literary ground from which it had sprung. And then salt the soil with the bitter tears of all god-fearing, proper fans.

I never managed number one, though I do still look fabulous in trousers. But goal number two is ticking along nicely. I have joined an (apparently not so secret) cabal composed of basically everyone who isn’t a straight white guy oh wait there are some straight white guys in or cabal too, um shit, I guess it’s actually a cabal of people who just don’t think everything has to be about straight white guys. Yeah, that. And then, of all dastardly things, we WRITE.

Because we saw, you see. We saw so clearly that the foundation of all speculative fiction is actually straight white guys, not, you know, fantastical elements and what if like those lying bastard liberals tell you in their “college courses.” (Hah! Our secret liberal indoctrination works again!) So if you replace the straight white guys in fiction with people that actually reflect the diversity of the population, IT WILL ALL COME CRASHING DOWN LIKE A JENGA TOWER SURROUNDED BY DRUNKEN UNDERGRADS.

AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA

I mean, we SAY we would just like to read stories about people like us, that a little diversity doesn’t hurt, but smart guys like senpai know. He’s on to us. We hate art, because art is only the stuff senpai likes reading, and the rest of us totally don’t count because we don’t get the greatness of all that ART. We’re just going to burn that shit down. I for one only read scifi because I hate it. I only do things I hate. That’s how my bitter, sad, and twisted life works. That’s why you should all run out right now and bake me cakes because if there is one thing I hate more than scifi it’s cake and I’ll eat cake while I read a scifi novel so then MY HATE-FILLED, MISERABLE EXISTENCE WILL BE COMPETE.

I am so glad I don’t have to pretend any more. It’s like a great burden has lifted from my shoulders.

Now, I’m going back to writing my story about a lesbian Sikh werewolf going to the prom because I am doing my part to destroy everything that scifi stands for. Which, let us remember, is only straight white guys. Only that. Ever.

* – That’s what it’s called, right, Bill O’Reilly (or was it Glenn Beck I don’t even know any more they’re all like the same person) is no longer actually intelligible through all the froth, so I’m guessing.

Categories
fandom rants writing

Fanfic < "Real" fiction?

Okay, darlings, I’m getting just a little tired of this shit. Since a thing involving fanfiction happened of course we’re up for another round of arguing about the “worth” of fanfic. Because what is the internet for if not being a long distance dick about things other people like? Well, let Evil Auntie Rachael lay down some fucking truth for you.

First off, define “real” fiction. Unless you’re writing pure history or biographical stories, you are literally making shit up. Define real in that context. I dare you.

Okay, so you mean original fiction? When we’re talking written narrative fiction, I should note that original is a pretty loaded word. Everyone likes to laugh about there only being three (or five, or six, or pick a number) plotlines in the entire world, and it’s really all just about giving it a twist or telling it a new way. Are you telling me fanfiction can’t do that? Even the idea of original characters is a loaded one, since we’ve got archetypal characters for a reason, and you can make a compelling argument for nearly every character belonging to an archetype, with the serial numbers cunningly masked by, say, curly hair and an interest in bowling. (And here, we aren’t even touching the entire issue of licensed tie-in fiction.)

So do you really mean fiction for which someone would potentially pay money? First, please explain to me how assigning monetary value to art makes it more legitimate. Because here I was thinking the true value of art was actually a thing without price, namely the act of creation itself and the idea the art communicates. And second, getting paid for fiction is not that easy. TRUST ME.

But Evil Auntie Rachael, original fiction is better quality than fanfiction. Really? Give me five minutes and Google and I will find you ten fanfics that display more sophisticated writing, better plotting, and deeper characterization than Twilight. Give me a full day and some dramamine, and I bet I can find you ten Twilight fanfics that are better quality than the work upon which they’re based.

The only thing original fiction gets to hold over fanfic in regards to quality is that it’s professionally edited. (IF it’s traditionally published or if it’s self published AND the author coughed up the dough to independently hire a content and line editor.) And sometimes, that doesn’t mean a whole lot. Every single one of us has read a book in our lives where we threw it on the floor in disgust and announced that we could totally do better than that.

Fanfiction is an incredibly valuable tool for learning and honing the craft of writing. I wrote fanfiction for years and years. I know other writers who wrote fanfic for years and years (and most of them have published far more than me). Some of us still do. What fanfiction taught me was how to build a plot, and how to plot long, and stay true to character while I was doing it. Writing fanfic isn’t easier or harder than writing original fiction–it’s the same process, the same parts of your brain.

And you know what? Fanfic is fun. You’re not writing it to a deadline, you’re not thinking about how many fucking times it’s going to be forcibly ejected from a slushpile, or which of your darlings the editor is going to expect you to kill. You’re writing it for the sheer joy of writing something because you like it and you can. God, and the feedback! You have an instant fanbase of people who will actually engage with you about your story! I wrote one short little fic after I saw Thor: The Dark World and in the time since I put it online I have literally received more feedback on it than I have in total for every piece of original work I’ve ever published. It’s like pure black tar heroin for the sad little twitching addict that is a writer’s ego.

Two years ago, I sat in on a panel at Worldcon where two editors from large publishing houses said yeah, they know people in publishing who keep track of fanfiction because it’s a way to find amazing writers. Patrick Nielsen Hayden said:

There is no ceiling on how good fanfic can be because it’s all unpublishable. You can find great writers.

So you can shut the fuck up about the supposed inferiority of fanfiction now.

Oh, and if a published writer has the sheer ego necessary to tell you that all fanfic is creatively inferior and doesn’t count, you tell them to go fuck themselves. Tell ’em from me, too. At the end of the day, we’re all just making shit up.

Categories
fandom

Why are we embarrassed about our fanfiction?

Forgive me if this is all a little disjointed, but I’m kind of writing things down as they occur to me. Also, since I’m a writer, I’m going to focus on writing, but I bet a lot of what I say is true for stories is also true for art.

Since the colossal Sherlock fanfic dick move, I’ve been thinking about fanfic, and talking with some people who still actively fic. (Yes, to fic is a verb. Now you know.) To go with the utter rage at what a colossal dick Caitlin Moran was, there’s been this general embarrassed recoil among fic writers. It’s a thing of sheer horror, thinking something like that could happen to one of our little stories, like AO3 is a rock that could be overturned at any moment and we’re worried we can’t scurry away fast enough.

But why is that? Why are we embarrassed about our fanfiction?

This is the thing: I don’t think we actually are.

If you were actually, actively embarrassed about a story (or any piece of art you created), you wouldn’t show it to anyone, would you? No. I imagine a lot of people are probably like me, with half-finished (or fully finished but hideous) stories that just don’t work stashed in a padlocked trunk in the attic where they can’t hurt anyone.

But if you get your story to the point where you’re willing to put it out in the light of day where people can actually see it? You must think there’s something worthwhile there to be shared. Sure, maybe it’s imperfect, or you’re frustrated and want feedback, or a lot of other reasons. But the basic idea still holds: if you’re letting other people look at it, there is some kind of marrow to your story that you think is good. In which you believe. In which you feel pride. Even if it’s a story that has you throwing your keyboard at the wall because it just won’t fucking work, you wouldn’t be putting it out there for critique if you didn’t think it had a heart worth saving.

You don’t put fanfiction on the internet because you’re embarrassed about it.

So next question: why do other people make us feel embarrassed about our fanfiction?

Except I don’t think that’s even the right question. Because if you knew for a fact that a non-fan, when told about your fanfiction, would at worst just shrug it off, say that’s a cool hobby let me tell you about my fantasy football team, or ask you if that’s a thing you can do to make money (No.) then you wouldn’t ever feel embarrassed about it. There wouldn’t be a reason for embarrassment, because it’s just another hobby.

I think this is the real question: why do other people want us to feel embarrassed about our fanfiction?

Because they’re assholes.

Or maybe that’s too easy. Even if they are assholes, that doesn’t really say anything about the source of this dickish mode of behavior.

Embarrassment comes from shame. Shame comes from the fear of other people thinking your behavior is wrong or foolish.

Okay, so what’s wrong or foolish about fanfiction? Nothing empirically. You’re not making money off of someone else’s intellectual property. It’s sure not any more foolish than a whole host of other hobbies I could name, like say paying a bunch of money to go sit in a cold stadium and watch men in tight pants run up and down a field chasing a ball.

I can see a lot of factors in this.

Maybe it’s that poisonous idea that liking things unironically is somehow mortally uncool. Well, fuck being cool anyway. If people who pull shit like Caitlin Moran and Alan Carr are the cool kids, thanks, I’ll take my tray and go sit with the M:tG nerds again. I don’t find the practice of cultural cannibalism at all satisfying.

Maybe it’s being enthusiastic about things that aren’t mainstream. Like, it’s totally fine to go to football games and paint your face and chest, or have a fantasy football team, but god help us if we’re making shit up about anything that’s not sports. Probably worth noting here that stuff stereotypically liked by guys is generally viewed as cooler than stuff stereotypically liked by girls.

Maybe it’s the writing thing, though I can already put paid to that notion because people generally think it’s mega cool if you’re writing original fiction. But then again, that means you get the stamp of some kind of cultural approval because hey, someone gave you money for your words. That must mean it’s okay. (Unless it’s romance. But we’ll get to that later.)

So then maybe it’s the fact that you’re writing stories for free about someone else’s characters? Frankly, anyone who likes any of the plethora of Sherlock Holmes-sourced shows and movies doesn’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to that. And so on and so forth. Anyone who has ever come out of a movie and said, Yeah that was cool but they really should have done X/Y/Z, write it down and congratulations you just did fanfic now shut the fuck up.

Maybe it’s the porn thing? Ah, well, there is that. We live in a country where for entertainment, graphic torture is a-okay for pretty wide consumption and consensual cunnilingus is just way too shocking. And we’ve all read stories about a teacher (almost always female) who moonlights as a romance or erotica writer getting fired because some parents found out her dirty little secret. Funny thing is, you don’t get fired if you write mainstream literary fiction, hard crime, or even scifi/fantasy.

I don’t think that point should make us feel embarrassed. It should make us angry. The puritanical (and often hypocritical) attitude about sex isn’t something that deserves to be fed with our embarrassment. And in this case, the people who should really feel ashamed are the ones who dump porn in the lap of a person who did not consent to it. Because as I said on Monday, that is never okay.

Maybe it’s because fanfiction is dominated by women, and it’s always fun to take a steaming shit on anything women do creatively? Wish I could say I didn’t think this was a factor, but considering the last several sexism shit storms I’ve witnessed as a writer of original sf/f, this one deserves to be pinned on the board. It’s kind of fascinating to see on one side, DC Comics basically cancelling a show for being too popular with girls, and on the other Alan Carr showing Tom Hiddleston porny Loki fanart like it’s the fucking Ark of the Covenant and he’s expecting faces to melt. (And by the way, you are never getting a movie about Wonder Woman or Black Widow.) Yes, women are taking an interest in fandoms that were originally aimed more at men, and we’re doing it in the ways we always have, and maybe some people find that shocking? (God, why can’t you people just shut the fuck up and buy action figures.)

Maybe it’s because the world is full of assholes who just want to return to the natural order of tearing up the nerd’s notebook of carefully plotted dungeon crawls and feeling good about themselves. (Though considering some of the people doing this crap are pretty damn nerdy themselves, one does wonder.)

Whatever the reason, hey, don’t be a dick. That shouldn’t be such a difficult idea to grasp.

Weirdly, this entire question of embarrassment, makes me think about my niece. Stick with me here. I love my niece to bits. She’s young, and inquisitive, and still at the stage where she’s scribbling pictures on pieces of scrap paper and giving them to everyone as gifts, telling you proudly that the figure on the paper (almost unrecognizable as human) is you. She is happy with the art she’s made, and proud of it. And because she’s happy with it and proud of it, I’ve taken the marker squiggle masterpieces home and given them a place of honor on my refrigerator, as I was told to do by my Evil Auntie’s Handbook.

In our childhood, we are all artists, and we all know the joy of creation.

I remember being like that. I remember writing stories as soon as I could form letters with a pencil, and proudly showing them to anyone who couldn’t run faster than me. (I was a chubby kid. I wasn’t hard to outrun.) I bet you were like that too. At some point, we all take a hit to that enthusiasm to share.

When it’s because we’ve gained enough experience to realize that not every piece of art we make is a masterpiece, that’s called learning the craft. That’s called self-editing and growing and improving. And that’s good, so long as we never hit a point where our internal editor becomes so megalomaniacal that he keeps us from letting our art see the light of day.

But there’s another reason people stop creating and sharing. And it’s because some asshole out there (or many assholes) said that what we’re creating is bad, and stupid, and we should be ashamed of it. And then instead of finding the good heart of what we make and believing in it, we only believe that other people will laugh at us. All art is in some way taking a piece of yourself, some feeling or experience or idea, and making it manifest. No one wants to feel like what comes from inside them deserves shame.

That’s what bothers me the most, about these assholes out there trying to shame fanwriters and artists. Creativity is a muscle that requires exercise to be healthy and strong. Art needs oxygen and sunlight to grow, like most other living things. And everyone, everyone in the goddamn world who has ever made art, has an endless learning curve they have to travel.

You know what I’d call someone who shoves an artist off the learning curve just for a nasty chuckle? A bully. And someone who tries to make an artist feel small for having the cojones to rip out a little piece of their heart and say I made this myself and I’m proud of it? A mean-spirited coward.

Fuck ’em. They don’t deserve any more of my words.

Never stop creating, darlings. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Believe in your art and grow.

Categories
steampunk writing

It’s a cover!

Yes, the next novella (and the last one for this year) now has a cover! I’m really pleased with how this one turned out, and had a lot of fun writing the novella. It’s coming soon–November 1! GET READY!