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Uncategorized

Achievement unlocked: haggis

So this happened:

It may not be immediately evident, but that’s haggis, which exploded (with flavor?) from its sheep stomach container whilst cooking. My verdict? Tastes a lot like Bremer knipp, which tastes a lot like scrapple, which is a thing I grew up eating and still like when I’m not thinking too hard about my daily fat intake.

I feel like there was some expectation I’d be appalled by the entire haggis thing when it was given to Mike and I for Christmas. Look, one of the few soups I like is menudo and I grew up eating chicken hearts and gizzards and thinking they were a special treat. (Spoiler: I still do think that, actually. Mmm, hearts and gizzards and dumplings.) I’ll basically try anything once unless it (a) still has the head attached because I have this thing about my food looking at me or (b) is something I’m ethically opposed to such as whale meat. I may think the jelly on top of a pork pie is utterly disgusting, but it’s an informed sort of utterly disgusting since I actually did eat it in order to draw that conclusion. (The only exception I’ve made to this rule is for natto, because I literally can’t get past the smell in order to even get it close to my food hole.)

Haggis is something a lot of American pop culture likes to freak out about since it involves sheep tripe that’s cooked in a sheep stomach. Because I don’t know, it’s un-American to use the less glamorous bits of the animal. Personally, I think a culture that consumes that many hot dogs per capita and invented the Twinkie should probably just shut the hell up and quietly slink away.

So anyway, haggis: solid thumbs up, a good addition to the ground up tripe with beef fat repertoire of scrapple-lovers everywhere.

Categories
movie

Les Miserables

Goddamnit, Anne Hathaway. Must you punch me in the heart and make me cry in every one of your scenes?

This movie has some amazing things going for it. Namely, Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman. They really make the movie with beautiful singing and intense emotion. I’ve seen Les Mis on stage before, and Fantine never made me cry like Anne Hathaway did. Her rendition of I Dreamed a Dream was the angriest I’ve ever heard, and she convinced me. (And honestly, it makes sense for Fantine to be angry as well as despairing, because this wasn’t how her life was supposed to be.) And I know a lot of people were side-eyeing the Hugh Jackman thing, apparently unaware of the fact that the man was in musicals on stage for years and even won a Tony. But it shows in this movie, it really does. Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen do a pretty good turn as the scumbag Thenardiers as well, though HBC really just kind of felt like Mrs. Lovett revisited with a bit less cannibalism.

The rest of the movie, I had more reservations about. Russell Crowe does a technically competent job of singing, but he doesn’t seem to emote very well when he does it. Which is too bad, since Javert is a character that takes a lot of conviction in song. There was only one instance in the movie (near the beginning when he fights with Jean Valjean in the hospital) that I really felt anything out of him, and the rest was… pretty flat.

I also honestly did not like the way the movie was shot. I know one of the great things about movies versus stage is that it lets us get right up there with the characters and see into their eyes. Which is great. But it would have been nice if the director had given the characters some goddamn space once in a while. I felt like 90% of the movie was closeups, and it started getting both claustrophobic and annoying after a while. Half the time I completely lost sense of place with the characters because you couldn’t see anything but their face and a colorful blur for the background. I’m sure there were some nice sets and costumes in the movie, but I feel like I didn’t see a hell of a lot of them. The face is important for expression, yes, but how about some arms? Some legs? For all I know, Hugh Jackman was wearing running shorts in half his scenes because we never see him below the shoulders.

Honestly, I prefer the stage production.

Is the movie worth seeing? I’d say yes. Anne Hathaway will ruin Les Mis for every other Fontine. Hugh Jackman is excellent. (You get well acquainted with the inside of his mouth considering the amount of time the camera spends staring down it, but hey, he’s got nice teeth.) Is it worth showing to someone that’s musical phobic that you’d never be able to drag to a stage production? Definitely.

But will the movie make you like Les Mis if you didn’t before? Unless your problem was that Fontine didn’t reach out from the stage and punch you directly in the emotions and you wanted a more intimate relationship with Jean Valjean’s tonsils, probably not. Story and music-wise, it’s just like the stage version. To quote my best friend’s dad: “They sang and they died and they died and they sang and they sang and they sang and they died and they sang.”

Basically that. But it does make a lovely bit of Oscar bait. If Anne Hathaway doesn’t get a nomination out of this, I am going down to the award ceremony and flipping the entire goddamn stage.

Categories
writing year in review

2012: Writing Year in Review

Written This Year

Novels: Zero, I’m sorry to say. I did a lot of editing on Fire in the Belly and Throne of Nightmares but grad school really prevented me from making much progress. I think I might have added another 10k words to King’s Hand.

Shorter Stuff: Relatively more success on this front, perhaps because shorter stories are ideal for picking up and putting back down while dealing with horrible grad student things.
Flash: 5 (spoiler: I still suck at flash)
Short Stories: 12 (six of which I wrote during the Clarion Write-a thon, one I wrote today!)
Novellettes/Novellas: 2 (just finished the rough of The Ugly Tin Orrery!)

Consigned to the trunk of awfulness, never to return:  None yet this year, but there are two that I’m giving the stink-eye that might be vanishing once I have the brain power to look over them better and do more editing.

Best/favorite story of the year: Comes the Huntsman, no question. It was an intense story to write, and I’m still very proud of it. It was also published by Strange Horizons, which has been a personal dream of mine!

Considering last year I wrote well over 200K words, by any measure my productivity has been much, much lower this year. To the point that I started getting a bit weird about it back in October because I hadn’t gotten to just write fiction in what felt like so long.

On the other hand I’ve written two drafts of a Masters Thesis, so I think that should count for something.

Publishing
Queries sent: 102
Rejections received: 72
Most rejections received: For just this year, A Crack in the Mirror is leading with 10. For all time (discounting Throne of Nightmares) Entangled had 18 when it was accepted for publication by Specutopia.

This was an amazing year for me for publishing. I had four sales, two of which were pro-level, and signed the contracts for five novellettes/novellas, only one of which I had already written. The two pro sales this year kicked me over to three total, which means I get classified as a professional writer. That was incredibly exciting as well, and Comes the Huntsman was the story that did that for me.

Published this year:

  1. Entangled in Specutopia (which seems to have vanished, I’m sorry to say)
  2. Comes the Huntsman in Strange Horizons
  3. The Jade Tiger in Penumbra

Slated for 2013: 

  1. Hyperion from Scape
  2. A return of The Jade Tiger in the Best of Penumbra Anthology
  3. Murder on the Titania from Musa Publishing
  4. The Ugly Tin Orrery from Musa Publishing
  5. The Curious Case of Miss Clementine Nimowitz and Her Exceedingly Tiny Dog from Musa Publishing
  6. Blood in Peyote Creek from Musa Publishing
  7. Do Shut Up, Mr. Simms from Musa Publishing

Stories put online this year: 

  1. Infection 
  2. The Last Lighthouse

Unless Specutopia reappears, once I’ve run out the six month exclusive period in the contract, I think I’ll probably put Entangled online here to be read for free in February. It’s a story that I really like and I don’t want it to just vanish.

Also, I’m hoping to get back to my little fanfic habit once the thesis is done and I have spare time again. I’ll be working a real, 40 hours per week job for the first time in five years, but I’m pretty sure I’ll still have more spare time then than I do now.

Goals for 2013: 

  1. Finish King’s Hand
  2. Finally get representation nailed down for at least one of my novels
  3. Work with Kat on our joint project and get it done!
  4. Write another birthday story in February for Mr. T.H.; an important goal for me because the one last year turned out so stunningly well I’m terrified another attempt won’t produce anything at all good.
  5. Keep the novellettes rolling in on time to Musa and be faithful to my contracts there.
  6. Finish editing the stories I wrote for this year’s Clarion Write-a-thon
  7. Participate in the Write-a-thon again
  8. Be generally more productive than I was this year, since I’ll no longer have a thesis hanging from my neck like a stone.
  9. Flash fiction – how the fuck does it work?
Categories
stuff in the uk trip report

A relaxing day in Cambridge

Spent today bumming around Cambridge with our friend Dan. We’ve now hit the pub by his place (the Green Dragon) twice for dinner, and it’s been pretty good both time. There is this thing they do that involves a steak covered with cheese and we really don’t need to get more deeply into it than that.

It was a grey day, but it’s basically been nothing but grey days the entire time we’ve been in the UK. The Cam was very swollen, up onto the natural banks in places, which is not good. The sluice gate at Jesus Lock was partially open, which kicked up an impressive sediment plume in the water. There was also quite a bit of standing water in the various commons we passed by, shallow little ponds with park benches and trees sticking up out of them.

There were quite a few house boats parked along the river banks, many of them complete with cats. One of the cats was a very seriously little orange tabby who came up onto the path to be petted by us. (We didn’t see him later when we came back, post-rain-storm, but there was a cat flap in the door of the boat so we figure he was safe and dry). There was also a pretty grey and brown tabby who had a lot to say to us, and a very quiet black cat who seemed well aware of the fact that there were swans not five feet from him on the other side of the boat.

We did most of our walking when it wasn’t really raining much, and sat out the worst of the storm while having coffee at a little Italian cafe.

Pictures here.

Categories
lgbt marriage

Congratulations, Maine

Same-sex marriage was legal in Maine as of midnight tonight, with couples lining up to receive their marriage licenses first thing in the morning. Maine was one of the three states that approved same-sex marriage by popular vote this year; the other states that have legal same-sex marriage were all made so by the legislature or judicial decision.

I’m really happy for the loving couples in Maine that will now be able to marry. Seeing pictures from Maine, from Washington have just put me in joy overload. When you see other people who are that happy, there is no way to avoid feeling happy yourself, and maybe getting a little teary-eyed because your heart just overflows.

And feel the tide turning.

Categories
logical fallacies someone is wrong on the internet

Straw men

This is a term I’ve used in the past on my blog, and I bet most if not all of you already know what this is. But just in case, let’s cover it briefly, because this is something anyone who has, say, ever watched a politician speak ought to understand.

A Straw Man is a logical fallacy. If you’re not familiar with logical fallacies, there’s an excellent summary over at the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe, which is worth reading. In summary, a logical fallacy is an incorrect argument, normally due to an error in logic or rhetoric, and either purposeful or accidental. There’s a massive list of formal fallacies, because certain errors just pop over and over again in argument.

Straw man tends to evoke the image of soldiers bayonetting straw dummies, and it’s used for a reason. In the straw man logical fallacy, instead of arguing against your opponent’s actual position, you make up an entirely different, misrepresentative position, one that’s normally a lot easier to attack, and then argue against that instead. Politicians do it all the time by putting words in their opponent’s mouth or purposefully misinterpreting something they’ve said.

I’ve attempted to come up with some real world examples, but feel free to offer your own in comments, or correct me if I’ve made a mistake.

  • Just about any politician ever who has claimed that anyone opposed to Law X just wants to maintain the status quo. George W. Bush did that when he argued for No Child Left Behind, Obama did it for the Affordable Care Act. While some opposition comes from wanting to keep things as they are no doubt, there were plenty of people opposed to both because they thought they didn’t go far enough (hey, wouldn’t it be awesome to have single payer?) or that it went about things the wrong way (way to require mathematically impossible rates of success in testing!) and cogent arguments to that effect.
  • Arguing against feminism because we’re all just a bunch of man hating bra-burners who want to put a matriarchy in place is one that happens all the time. So often, in fact, the Straw Feminist is a trope. 
  • Just about anything to do with the Fox News fictional “War on Christmas.” (Example here.) I would argue that the entire concept of the “War on Christmas” is a straw man, since it’s a characterization of people wanting to destroy the holiday when basically the evil opposing forces (anyone who says “happy holidays” and atheists for the most part) most commonly want to make the holiday season inclusive for all faiths and/or feel that the government shouldn’t be promoting a particular flavor of religion.
  • A popular one currently is to characterize any discussion of regulations on guns as an attempt to ban all guns forever. I’ve gotten hit with that on both my post Sandy Hook massacre blog posts; note in neither do I say anything about banning guns entirely.

Logical fallacies are a powerful, useful tool. Two things you need to keep in mind however:

  1. Just because an argument contains a logical fallacy does not mean that the conclusion will necessarily be false. Sometimes someone with shitty logic still gets to a correct conclusion. Also, sometimes people will purposefully commit these fallacies as a rhetorical device, so be cautious of that as well. 
  2. Just because you know the logical fallacies does not mean you are immune to committing them yourself. I know I’ve fallen victim to their siren call in the past. So don’t let it get to your ego, okay?
Categories
someone is wrong on the internet

You may not have noticed, but I cuss a lot

People who have read my blog for a while may have noticed that I use rather… salty language. In the past, I’ve been accused of having a mouth like a trucker. Can’t say it’s wrong. And think about this – I actually cuss way less than I did about five years ago. Having a little niece that I adore to bits has had the effect of making me more aware of what I say and how I say it, as has just being a writer.

But here’s something else you should know. When I cuss in writing, I mean it. The occasionally f-bomb might trip unthinkingly from my lips, but those four letters don’t just type themselves. I have in the past actually gone over my blog posts and carefully rearranged the bad words, sometimes adding, sometimes subtracting.

Because words have meaning. And curse words have a great emotional, emphatic load to them, which is why I use them.

My opinions are my own, and when I’m on my own time and my own dime, I will express them in the way I find most effective. On my blog, no one else gets to dictate the terms of this debate. And if someone determines the worthiness of an opinion based solely on their judgment that the language is sufficiently elevated, they have my pity. Pretty prose can be window dressing for an ugly idea, but no matter how much frosting and fondant you put on a cake made from manure, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still something that passed through the anus of a large mammal.

It drives me batty when I see people mix up your/you’re and they’re/there/their, for example. But if the worst criticism I can think of someone’s argument is that their grammar is terrible (presuming that their grammar is not so horrific that I can actually understand what they’re saying) then I have already lost. “Oh yeah? Well, you’re ugly!” stopped being a worthwhile debate tactic upon leaving grade school. It just means that you actually have nothing of worth to add but still want to wave your verbal fists in impotent, angry disagreement.

You don’t like my opinion? Fine. You don’t like my opinion because I scorched your delicate ears with my use of the f-bomb? I mean this in all sincerity: get the fuck over it.

Categories
someone is wrong on the internet

A baseball bat is never an acceptable debate tactic

Check this one off on the list of internet firsts for me – I had a complete stranger state he’d like to “challenge me” with a baseball bat to my head because he didn’t like my opinion on Wayne LaPierre being a horrible person. (Well, actually, he didn’t like a straw man of my opinion about gun control, but that is a subject for a different time.)

Straw man or no, why does the initial reaction involve talking about perpetrating blunt force trauma on a complete stranger and not a I think you [optional: you moron] are totally wrong and this is why?

This should go without saying, but it’s not okay to engage in a public violent fantasy just because you disagree with someone. And immediately trying to excuse it by adding something to the effect of, “but I totally wouldn’t because I’m not actually a violent person” doesn’t make it any better. You still said it. You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube or unring the bell, pick your metaphor. Someone taking about baseball bats in one sentences and being a totally nonviolent person hahaha in the next is really not something that inspires me to trust the latter of the two opposing statements; it’s smarter to assume the worst because otherwise you could potentially, I don’t know, get hit in the head with a baseball bat.

If you didn’t mean it, why the hell did you say it?

Frankly, at that point it just feels like a pathetic little fig leaf. Maybe it should be followed up with a “wow you’re humorless can’t you take a joke?” since that’s classic. I can almost see that as something you’d joke about with people you know. I’ve “threatened” to punch a friend or two of mine in the cock, for example, and it was all good because everyone involved knew it was a joke. Because we’re all friends.

I am under no illusions that this person would actually take a baseball bat to me. To begin with, they don’t know me, let alone know where I live. And frankly, talk is incredibly cheap, particularly on the internet where you can say shit like that and never have to look the other person in the eye. That said, it still upset me. It made me angry enough that my hands shook. “Joking” or “speaking metaphorically” about hurting someone else isn’t a way to engage them in reasoned discourse salted with facts or even hyperbolic posturing. Bullshit talk about violence feels incredibly personal because things like that happen to real people, and it reads as an attempt at intimidation. It adds nothing to discussion. It cuts discussion off with an opening position that is hostile and devoid of reason.

So no. It’s not okay. It’s never okay.

This is the most damning thing, I think. I haven’t done it recently, but I’m 99.9% certain in the past I have said things along that vein, most likely related to wishing I could punch a politician or two in the face. I’ve now come to the conclusion that if I have made even vaguely threatening statements before, that was wrong, and I deeply regret it.

Joking with your friends is not the same as showing your ass on the internet and talking about a complete stranger that may some day soon read your statement. Words have meaning. I’ve committed to not saying things I don’t mean.

And I’m going to grow the fuck up.

Categories
doctor who liveblog stuff in the uk

Liveblog of the 2012 Doctor Who Christmas Special

Yes, I am in England, which means I get to see it before most of my friends HAHAHAHA

Needles to say, SPOILERS.

1715 Snowflakes with sharp teeth. This feels so Nightmare Before Christmas!

1715 When an evil snowman with the voice of Sir Ian McKellen asks a creepy loner if he wants help, magical things are bound to happen.

1716 “I said I’d feed you. I didn’t say who to.” Even his grammar is evil.

1717 Scariest snowman ever. I love it. They have sharp teeth and angry eyes.

1719 SCREAM IT’S MADAM VASTRA. Who is wise to the Doctors terrible habit of picking up chicks everywhere he goes.

1720 And we have a show name! “Doctor? Doctor who?”

1720 Matt Smith in a top hat is a lovely sight. I approve.

1720 “Ice remembers.” I’m sensing a theme here.

1721 HAHAHA ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE BASED SHERLOCK HOLMES ON MADAM VASTRA. “A woman and her suspiciously intimate companion.” Eeeee and Vastra is married to Jenny so she resents the implication of impropriety.

1723 Alien snow? “When you see something new… what’s the next thing you look for?” “A grenade!” I love this little Sontaran (Strax) so very much. He’s my favorite “psychotic potato dwarf.”

1725 After all that time saving the Earth and the Earth doesn’t care. Aw, poor Doctor needs a hug.

1727 Don’t think about snowmen! And then they melt if you think about it hard enough, which seems a bit silly.

1730 The invisible staircase is very pretty. But also very impractical. Neat way to get to the TARDIS though, floating on a cloud.

1732 “Tomorrow the snow shall fall and so will mankind!” Oh Doctor Who, you are so silly. Never change.

1733 In-carriage costume change! And suddenly she’s gone to a prim governess. Apparently she’s Mary Poppins?

1735 TMW your employer calls you pretty and then says he just meant young. SUBTLE.

1737 “Do not attempt to escape or you will be obliterated. May I take your coat?” STRAX I LOVE YOU.

1738 Madam Vastra wants one word answers. Two questions like why. Oh but she is good.

1740 And then an even tougher one. Oh my god Madam Vastra is so cool. Explain danger and why he should help in only one word. The answer of “pond” is a real punch in the stomach, ain’t it Doctor.

1741 LOL AND THEN THE DOCTOR PRETENDS TO BE SHERLOCK HOLMES. And he is so utterly terrible at it.

1741 …what is that pun even. No. Bad Doctor.

1742 “Shut up I’m making deductions it’s very exciting.” OH GOSH.

1744 “Madam Vastra wanted to know if you needed any grenades… she might have said help.” STRAX I LOVE YOU.

1744 “I’m the clever one. You’re the potato one… you’re not clever or funny and you’ve got tiny little legs!”

1745 Even the Doctor’s own hand doesn’t listen to him.

1747 An evil governess made of ice. That’s a new one.

1747 Not sure how I feel about the Doctor and hand puppets.

1749 “It’s okay I’m your governess’ gentleman friend and we’ve just been upstairs uh… uh… kissing!” YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, DOCTOR.

1749 “Hello I am a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife.” Maid: SCREAMS Us: Squeal with delight.

1752 Wow, getting the kissing on early I see.

1753 Stupid is the Doctor’s thing. That’s amazing.

1754 “My eyes are always front.” “Mine aren’t.” And thus Clara says the thing all women have been thinking ever.

1754 The staircase is taller on the inside. Oh that is clever.

1755 Now sure how I feel about the redo on the decoration for the TARDIS. The central column makes me think of a carousel.

1756 Aha callback to the other episode the actress was in. Well we knew Steven Moffat would desperately find some link. Guess we’ll see it. Wow, and he’s already giving her a key? That was quick. “Me, giving in.” Awwww.

1757 And apparently we were so busy being cute we totally forgot about the evil ice governess and… there goes Clara really? Well that was even quicker. They’ve introduced this woman twice and killed her both times. Yeesh.

1759 Oh Strax. You are the most comforting.

1805 Ah, the return of the memory worm. That’s fun.

1805 Somehow I doubted it would be that easy. It’s Sir Ian McKellen for goodness sake.

1806 …winter is coming, really? I think nerdpanties everywhere just got wetter.

1808 An all it took was a whole family crying on Christmas Eve? That’s a bit… yeah.

1810 Another reference to souffle girl.

1811 The woman keeps dying! “Remember, we shall meet again.” Oh, that’s kind of fun. “Watch me run.” Yeah this could be an interesting series. Wonder if they’ll kill her in every episode like Kenny.

Categories
stuff in the uk

Slimbridge Wetland Centre

So, it actually stopped raining for about an hour and a half, which is amazing. I know I like to give the UK a lot of shit about being rainy and having no sun or blue sky, but this year has been kind of ridiculous and now I’m regretting all that teasing I’ve done.

But yes! Sun! Or at least lack of rain! Fresh air! We went to Slimbridge Wetland Centre, which is a little reserve for aquatic birds. I’m not much of a bird person (though I think my parents would love it) but I still had fun seeing all the pretty and exceedingly talkative animals.

Have some photos.

By the way, this cute little guy? Is a Nene, which is a goose from Hawaii. Apparently they breed them here in captivity and send them back to Hawaii. But if you go to Slimbridge, get used to this sight. They’re always there, watching you with their cute, black button eyes. And there are always two of them. Weird. Eerie. Cute.