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movie

What a difference a trailer makes

I’m actually contemplating seeing Hitman: Agent 47 this weekend. This is mostly my BFF Mike’s fault, because he is weak to incredibly stupid and trashy action movies. But I’m willing to actually go along with him on this one, which I think is pretty much the cinematic equivalent of sitting on a curb and eating cookie dough straight out of the package while crying, because that is all I deserve.

I’ve been aware of the Hitman games in the sense that I’ve seen them on Let’s Plays and noticed them in the video game store, and thought they looked like they’re for people who want all of the murder of Assassin’s Creed without so much plot getting in the way. Which is not a judgment on you if you really like these games, it’s more a way of saying that I don’t think I’m the target audience and that’s okay.

But I think one thing is worth noting here. What has made me willing to pay actual money to sit in front of a movie loosely based on a game series I don’t care about and stuff popcorn into my maw was the second trailer. See, here was the first trailer:

THINGS EXPLODE IN A CITY POPULATED ENTIRELY WITH WHITE PEOPLE! THERE IS SHOOTING! LADYPERSON IN BIKINI! You don’t actually matter, ladyperson, other than you are the sexy lamp that will lead us to the actual important person, who is your dad. Wow, I sure have never seen this movie a million and a half times already. (And sorry, 47, your version of “You’re locked in here with me,” is sadly lacking in comparison to Rorschach’s.) Blaaaaaaaaaaah.

Then there was the second trailer:

W-wait. Ladyperson is also a super badass assassin who is going to join in with hot tie-wearing assassin and together they will SHOOT AND BLOW UP ALL THE THINGS INCLUDING TERMINATOR SYLAR? (Trailer 3 seems to confirm this.)

Okay. Bring me some popcorn and an alcoholic beverage. I will watch your train wreck, because it is all I deserve.

Categories
guest post movie watched a movie so you don't have to

[Guest Post] The Flesh: Goldblum versus Fly (1986)

Note from Rachael: I love this post from Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam so much that I think this might become the favored format for all guest posts in the blog from now on. Call it Guest Writer Watches a Movie So You Don’t Have To. Or maybe something catchier.

Anyone who knows me knows that I can’t watch gory movies. I have to avert my eyes, even for the smallest hint of blood. Anyone who knows me well knows I can’t resist Jeff Goldblum, with his healthy ego and his slightly-stammering speech patterns. So when I decided to watch a monster movie for Rachael’s blog in order to promote my fiction-music project Strange Monsters, funding on Kickstarter until August 1st, I decided I had better pit my love of Goldblum against my dislike of gore and watch and record my reactions to The Fly*.

Why is The Fly related to my album project? Well, okay, I could write something lengthy and insightful about how the stories in my Kickstarter all question our concept of what makes someone monstrous, and since Cronenberg makes us both enamored (just me? Probably not just me) and repulsed by Brundle the half-creepy/half-endearing scientist protagonist, it was only logical I watch this particular movie. But really I’ve just been hearing about it for so long it seemed an inevitable fate. It’s one of the Goldblum masterpieces I’ve been too chicken, until now, to watch.

*Fermented beverage was imbibed during the watching of this movie.

Here goes:

Okay, here’s Jeff Goldblum’s character being creepy at a party, but since I know he’s legit it’s not necessarily a turnoff. He can make me cappuccino, anytime. Well, except cappuccino makes me nervous (too much caffeine), but I do love the smell so maybe I can just smell the cappuccino and he can talk to me about fake science.

His house is “cleaner on the inside.” Is this a mangled Doctor Who reference? Is Seth Brundle the generic, less exciting version of a time lord?

Things I know about Seth Brundle: Seth Brundle gives away research secrets for a date. Seth Brundle writes with French fries, unlike us lesser humans who write with pens and pencils and sparklers. Seth Brundle hates baboons (not the baboon! Ugggggggghhhhhhhh, I’m already regretting the decision to watch this movie).

“I must not know enough about the flesh myself. I’ll have to learn.” <Best pickup line ever?

Say “the flesh” again.

He offers Veronica two steaks: one that’s gone through the teleporter, and one that hasn’t. He offers them to the reported for an “objective opinion,” but tells her which one was teleported. Come on, Seth Brundle. Bad science!

Veronica’s buying him clothes. Well, that escalated quickly.

The moral of this movie is: jealousy will turn you into a fly. Looks like I don’t need to watch any further.

There’s that flesh Seth/Jeff keeps going on about.

It’s begun. Things I’ve learned about flies: they’re flexible. Good at gymnastics. And have a lot of sexual stamina?

Shit, Brundle/Goldblum is being a dick. Don’t be a dick! It hurts my head not to like your character.

The plasma spring sounds like a swimming hole I’d like to avoid.

I’m at the arm wrestling scene. Oh balls, the wrist! And the woman’s into it? I don’t know about anyone else, but watching bone pop out of the flesh doesn’t make me want to have sex. Probably just me, though.

Seth Goldblum just pulled his fingernails off. Okay, movie over. Great film. I’m done. Fuck, David Cronenberg! Why do you do this to me?

“Secondary element is not-Brundle.” I like this. On my off days I am not-Stufflebeam.

The secret is out, on all counts. What a start to a relationship!

Oh holy fuck, with the vomit and the ear and the face.

She’s pregnant with the fly-baby. Did they use condoms and/or other birth control? I’m thinking two highly intelligent people would use some form of birth control. Also, why are these accidental pregnancies so common in movies? Birth control must only be 20% effective in movie-world.

Oh fuck with the teeth. He’s keeping his parts in the medicine cabinet? Well, okay, isn’t that where everyone keeps their extra body parts? (I’d probably keep them in the fridge. Less rot that way.)

An insect politician would be a lot more interesting than most of our human politicians.

Seth Goldblum: “I’ll hurt you if you stay.” Is the Fly seriously making me cry?

He melted the editor-man’s hand. Now I’m crying for a different reason.

Shedding the flesh! Shedding the flesh! Why is this happening? (And now I’m singing “shedding the flesh” to the tune of “Stayin’ Alive.”)

I might have lost my attraction to Goldblum. Better watch the Portlandia episode with the beet sketch. That’s better.

Final verdict: if you stop watching right before he first teleports, when he’s naked in the pod, the Fly is a perfect movie.

(PS from Rachael: go support this kickstarter. It’s an excellent project and I’m supporting it too. Bonnie has earned it with her delicious suffering.)

Categories
feminism movie

10 Reasons You Should Go See Mad Max: Fury Road Right Now

sandstorm-mad-max-fury-road

Potentially some mild spoilers.

Categories
movie

Why Age of Ultron made Black Widow my favorite Avenger

This post is going to contain spoilers for Age of Ultron. Be warned.

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movie

If you don’t like Furious 7, you are wrong

So the first thing you should know is that I’ve never actually seen a Fast and Furious film until this Saturday, when my friend Robin invited me out to see it because she knew (due to another friend of ours) that I have this positively unhealthy thing about Jason Statham, or rather, the way Jason Statham wears ties.

No, let me back this up. The actual first thing you should know is that the Rock punches a predator drone in the face with an ambulance and then walks down the street whilst wielding a chain gun. THEN you should understand my complete innocence of these movies up until two days ago. And let me tell you, now I am probably going to go back and watch the rest of them because I can’t help myself, even if they cannot possibly be as good as this masterpiece of sheer, explodey glee.

I had no idea who the characters were, or their back stories, or anything. It did not matter one bit. Part of that is because the script actually did an incredibly good job of introducing us to the characters and their relationships with a lot of economy. Part of it is that it had a good heist movie set up, so you could just see the character archetypes and that would tell you enough to understand their interactions. And part of it is you really don’t need to know anything about a character when said character is played by the Rock or Vin Diesel or Michelle Rodriguez or Jason Statham. You just know that some fucking magic is about to happen. (Though if you really cannot mentally handle the thought of going into the seventh movie of a series blind, here’s a hilarious recap, thanks to Sunil for the link.)

Cars get jumped out of airplanes. Cars get jumped between buildings. The Rock flexes off a fucking fiberglass cast and then exchanges the world’s most adorable fistbump with a little girl. Michelle Rodriguez has a knock-down drag-out off the hook amazeballs brawl in a ballgown with Ronda Rousey, who is also wearing a ballgown and has shoulders that speak to my yeah I look like a fucking linebacker too soul. (And it is a real fight, there is no hair pulling cat fight bullshit, and no panty shots.) Jason Statham is Jason Statham in the most Jason Statham way imaginable and wears a tie like a motherfucker. The best hacker ever is a woman of color with absolutely gorgeous hair.

Of the team of absolutely flawless badass heroes, only one of them is white. (And the villain is Statham, by the way.) Of the two women, one of them face punches her way to glory, the other hacks the planet, and neither of them get raped or threatened with sexualized violence. No one gets tortured. No one gets turned into a punchline because of their race or gender. The heroes are basically a multi-racial, close-knit, created family that stick together in a way completely devoid manufactured conflict. There is nothing dark or gritty about this movie, thank fuck. It is pure, high-octane, cracked-out joy on screen, a movie that says hey guys no really it’s okay to unironically enjoy things. The only complaint I could have is that I would have liked a lot fewer ass-tracking bikini bottom shots of women, but even that seemed perfunctory like oh yes, this is a Fast and Furious movie, we should some scantily clad female scenery, now back to Michelle Rodriguez getting ready to fuck someone up.

The plot is ridiculous, but it’s ridiculous in a way that’s easy to follow. Jason Statham wants to kill Vin Diesel because Vin Diesel did a thing in another movie and who cares, because it means that cars are getting dropped out of an airplane so that the crew can rescue the hacker with amazing hair (Ramsey) for grown up Jack Burton. And then grown up Jack Burton then helps Vin Diesel and his crew hunt down Jason Statham. That’s it. The rest is little kinks in that straight line path to justify Michelle Rodriguez kicking the shit out of a bunch of super competent female body guards.

And that’s kind of my point, here. The plot is ridiculous in the way that Hercules doing his twelve labors is ridiculous, and equally epic. Furious 7 is a myth given cinematic form. It does not give a shit about your realism or your physics, because those things are beside the point. It’s actually the least bloody action movie I’ve seen in a long time. People get shot, but for the most part all you see in the aftermath is a bit of red on someone’s shirt. The Rock gets thrown through every piece of glass in a seven block radius by Jason Statham, and he looks like he lost a fight with a sheet of paper and isn’t even dusty. It’s a wink at us all that we are really, really not meant to take this seriously. Hercules strangled the Nemean Lion to death after hitting it with a club; Vin Diesel does much the same, only instead of a club he has an enormous wrench. Dom, Brian, Tej, Letty, Roman, Ramsey, Hobbs; they’re all figures worthy of being immortalized in myth.

And the last five minutes, when the movie turns around and punches you directly in the feelings as the cast says goodbye to Paul Walker in the best way imaginable somehow only adds to it. It’s fucking beautiful, and I’m unashamed to admit that I cried. At a Fast and Furious movie.

If you don’t like this movie because you’re sick of the women as gyrating scenery thing, I can understand that. But if you don’t like this movie because it’s silly and unrealistic? You’re missing the point, and you’re wrong.

Categories
movie suffering for charity

By the bulging right eye of Christian Grey!

The story so far: Sixteen sadistic jerk-asses banded together and raised $843.39, thus forcing me to see 50 Shades of Grey.

I went on Saturday. I had two beers and three hurricanes in a little over two hours. I am not ashamed to admit that I got really fucked up in a way that had nothing to do with the movie. I also took notes. 14 pages of notes. I am kind stunned by how bad my handwriting gets by the end.

By the way. If you guys want all 14 pages? Pony up another $156.61 to the charities and I will hand over the scans. Want to know what you’re missing? This is page 5. Of 14. (By the way, my housemate claims that she has a video of me drunk calling one of my friends and telling her about the movie. Which goes on for something like 9 minutes. She says you can have it if you hit $1250.) After thinking it over, I decided to scan my notes after all. Enjoy.

I invite you to think about that for a moment and shed a tear for my liver.

Assholes that got thrown out of the Alamo Drafthouse while watching 50 Shades of Grey review by Rachael Acks

I sat in the theater and drank alcohol. There were people talking loudly in the back of the theater, which was very unusual, due to the fact that I was at the Alamo Drafthouse and talking is verboten. But man those plucky patrons! Going on about Dornan’s butt and oh my god the book, and did you see that, and look he has a helicopter oh my god!

I am so glad this table was in the theater, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to follow the extremely complex plot of this geopolitical thrill-ride. I would never have known, for example, that Jamie Dornan has NIPPLES. HE DOES, YOU KNOW. TWO OF THEM. RIGHT THERE. OH MY GOD. His slightly bulging right eye and pained expression invite you to look closer if you dare, but we all know you can’t handle this sort of difficult truth: the nipples are capitalism and the surging buttocks the corporatist state that is the inevitable result of the unfettered free market, which doesn’t give oral. Oral is for closers.

As Christian used one of his approximately six million grey ties (HE LIKES GREY. GREY GREY GREY THERE IS A COLOR THEME YOU POOR FOOLS DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND, GREY LIKE THE MORALITY OF OUR INCREASINGLY COMPROMISED STATE) to tie up Anastasia as a daring commentary about the tangled issues of international trade and the corporate espionage it often encourages, these fine explicators were thrown out of the theater. Realizing that they would be leaving us without their guidance, they threw their drinks glasses on the ground in despair. And apparently at some other customers, but is there anything wrong with wanting to put someone else out of their misery?

“Bitches! Fuckers!” “I can buy this movie! It’s good! FUCKERS!” were the last words of these brave souls as they were herded from the theater by the extremely large and friendly manager. It’s true, you know. We were indeed the fuckers and bitches for being stuck in the movie, now rendered completely incomprehensible without their help.

But! Every cloud has a silver lining. The fine drama of their exit was a damn sight more interesting than watching Anastasia bite her lip while I cringed at the sad mistreatment of an otherwise nice, if boring, tie. And even better, the manager came in at the end of the movie and gave us vouchers that I can spend on something that isn’t 50 Shades of Grey. As much as it tears at my heart to do so, of course. Seeing the movie just wouldn’t be the same without the interpretive commentary running in parallel.

Grade: A+, would heartily recommend again while watching a similar movie

Okay you want the actual review? Fine. See below the fold.

Categories
movie Uncategorized

[Movie] Blackhat

Blackhat is a spy-fi movie about good hackers trying to stop bad hackers from doing nasty things to manipulate the stock market. It also involves a not inconsiderable amount of shooting and blowing things up, and eventually death via screw driver. Like most spy-fi/thriller movies, the actual details of the plot are perhaps needlessly convoluted, but things make enough sense as you are conveyed from point A to B to C that even if you can’t make sense of it a few hours later, at the time it’s not a bad ride.

To a certain extent, this movie appealed to me by just making some unexpected story and casting decisions that were entirely too charming. Of the four main characters in the movie? Nick Hathaway, played by an only muscular rather than positively Asgardian Chris Hemsworth, is the only white guy. Of the other three, we have FBI Agent Carol Barrett (Viola Davis), and Chinese super computer nerd siblings Chen Dawai and Chen Lien (Leehom Wang and Wei Tang respectively). The opening conceit of the film is the Chinese and Americans teaming up to stop an evil hacker, with the Chinese siblings acting as the real heart of the team instead of it all orbiting Chris Hemsworth’s muscular mass. That was definitely an unexpected turn, since the first few minutes of the movie were shot more like the Chinese might be the villains. When Nick and Lien end up sleeping together (because of course they do) Dawai doesn’t act like a macho shithead, but rather has a reasonable and adult conversation with Nick about his concerns in regards to the fact that if their mission fails, Nick goes back to prison and that would kind of suck for Lien–all without demanding dramatically that the two break up. The hackers work with command lines rather than ridiculous, fancy GUIs, and much of what they do is accomplished by just being clever bastards rather than brute forcing things. (Eg: At one point Nick gets a password by tricking someone into changing their password and using a keylogger.)

Leehom Wang and Viola Davis were the standouts of the cast; it’s refreshing to see Davis in such a different role for her and she plays it well. (Favorite line of the movie is when she looks disbelieving at Nick’s attempt to be cool and says, exasperaed,  “Chica? Do I look hispanic to you?”)

All of that? Exceedingly charming. It’s those unexpected factors that made me willing to forgive a lot of the weaknesses, and are what stand out in my mind even now when, over a week later, I couldn’t tell you what the hell most of the plot actually involved, other than noting that the romance between Nick and Lien comes out of the blue and makes about as much sense as some of the more tortured jargon. That’s perhaps the biggest problem, is that the plot has only one twist startling enough to stand out, while the rest is a little too caught up in spy novel intricacy without having quite as much driving tension as less arcane spy movies. While it’s refreshing to hit several points in a movie where you go Oh, that’s not what I expected, I can’t help but think the best definition for a movie is being able to tell you what it is as opposed to what it isn’t and then the rest being fairly unmemorable. But fun, worth watching, and and I think worth watching again to see if more of the plot sticks this time.

The fights (with a bit too much steadicam for my tastes, rendering them almost incoherent as those in the Bourne Supremacy) are short, indelicate, and brutal, which is something I’ve come to appreciate in movies that are trying to be a bit more gritty and realistic. That’s the tone the movie goes for, gritty and dark and more than a bit brooding at times, though the use of the various cities and the urban color scheme are gorgeous. More of those and less of the Tron-esque watching light track through circuit boards, which was baffling as to what it really meant to add. As for the hacking? I don’t know enough about computers any more to actually say how silly it was. But I think the most unrealistic part of the entire movie was actually a man inserting a USB drive into his computer on the first try.

Categories
liveblog movie

Snowmageddon?

So the TV is on and my friencd just turned it to Syfy and Snowmageddon. I think the movie is already in progress. I don’t think it matters. A giant snowball just blew up a school bus and decapitated Santa.

LIVEBLOGGING COMMENCES.

(If only we’d started drinking. Damnit.)

1358: Commercials. A tiny woman is watching a movie on an iPhone. Bowls of fruits are covered by CGI mold.

1400: Back to the movie. Everyone keeps looking up at a mountain that’s shrouded with clouds. I think this must be their displeased god who is chucking giant snowballs with them. Aha. They are in Alaska, I think? The man just said something into the radio about Alaska. The man in flannel is also Park Ranger. You know this because his building says Park Ranger.

1402: Okay so if this actually does take place in Alaska, why is everything green at Christmas time? I thought that was when it was endless night and snow vampires ride moose through the streets.

1402: Norm’s hurt really bad. Apparently. In a green bus festooned with greenery. It has a live power line on it. Which means no one can get in, but somehow Norm and his friend can lean against the metal sides of the bus inside. Because SCIENCE.

1403: Just like that, it’s over. No, blonde girl. It has ONLY JUST BEGUN. We don’t care about your family drama. Give me more snowy death.

1403: The little boy is a fantasy nerd who plays games. CHARACTERIZATION.

1404: Are they implying that the mountain is a volcano? I mean, the ominous look at the fake volcano on the game board seems to imply that. But that mountain sure doesn’t look like a stratovolcano.

1405: What have we got? A helicopter crash, apparently. Two blonde ladies struggle against the elements. Everyone has mouth blood and a head wound because those are probably the easiest injury makeups to apply.

1407: If you don’t touch the bus and the ground at the same time, you can jump free! WHAT?

1408: Two women battle desperately against a seatbelt. Okay then. But hey, you’ve got a snazzy quilt now! AND NOW THE WRECKAGE IS ON FIRE.

1417: We are still trying to figure out where the fuck these people are located geographically. Disaster on the mountain, blah blah. Sad people with head wounds in snow. There’s a guy that’s showed up with a snow cat after maybe ten minutes, so apparently the super snow mountain is like RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the green valley where you only need a little flannel jacket and geography, how the fuck does it work.

1418: Someone is going to attempt to fix the power situation with a pair of wire cutters. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

1419: Oh, we have improved from wire cutters to a sledgehammer. BEST ELECTRICIAN. He whacks the power thing with the sledgehammer. SPARKS!

1421: DOOMY DOOM DOOM SCARY CLOSE UP OF GAME BOARD AND NOW THERE IS AN AVALANCHE

1421: hahaha the guys is driving the snowcat away from the avalanche. Oh thank fucking god the avalanche overtook them or I’d be pissed, it’s like driving a car away from a fucking pyroclastic cloud.

1422: AND NOW THE BUS IS ON FIRE BECAUSE OF COURSE IT IS. This is how this movie rolls. The situation is bad. Things happen. AND THEN IT IS ON FIRE.

1423: The bus has now exploded. I repeat. The bus has now exploded. Farewell, Norm. Norm’s scruffy friend appears to have been thrown free of the conflagration.

1430: You have been buried by an avalanche. You are not going to be able to just drive the snowcat out. Even if you alternate between forward and reverse.

1430: MORE OMINOUS BOARD GAME SHOTS IN THE RUSTIC CABIN OF DOOMY DOOM. Rudy, the nerd leaves a note saying he ruined everything, it’s all his fault. Sure. Why not. Maybe he wrote the script for this film.

1432: No one is coming to help the mysterious town. It’s like they dropped off the map. THAT’S BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THE FUCK YOU EVEN ARE, NOT EVEN THE WRITERS.

1436: The people who were on the giant mountain with the avalanche are, five minutes later, down in the valley that appears to be somewhere in the pacific northwest, maybe. There is no sense of distance or time in this thing. At all.

1442: Wandering around, looking for Rudy. Now it’s the people off the mountain looking for him.

1444: MAGIC SNOW GLOBE OF EVIL EVILNESS. SHAKE IT UP YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

1445: “You think this snow globe is cursed, or maybe the globe cursed the town.” Lines that only an actor could deliver straight-faced.

1456: And now a town meeting about the snow globe.

1458: ASK NOW FOR WHOM THE SNOW GLOBE TOLLS. Something is happening. Yes, did you hear the bass rumble of the soundtrack? HAHAHAHA WOODEN SPIKES ARE SHOOTING OUT OF THE GROUND. This is kind of amazing actually.

1459: Derrick is on the ground and bleeding. I would find this a more believable and awesome death if he was actually spitted on one of the spikes.

1500: Oh back to Rudy’s game. It’s based on Hephaestus and Pandora! Pandora’s box contained a snow globe apparently! Yeah! And now it needs to be tossed into the volcano but… where is there a fucking volcano.

1504: THE SHITTY CAR GOT SPIKED AHAHAHAHAHA okay apparently my liveblog has to end because I need to take a shower and we are going to Chuy’s. And Chuy’s? Chuy’s >>>>> shitty movie. But it’s been fun. I got to end on a hilarious note.

Categories
movie

[Movie] Nightcrawler

What if it’s not that I don’t understand people, but that I don’t like them?

Nightcrawler is… unsettling. But not in the same way as, say, FilthIt’s the kind of movie that makes you cringe into your seat in the theater, because there are awkward things, and things that go on that just are profoundly wrong, and you can see them all coming.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Lou Bloom, a rather creepy man who is self-educated, loquacious, and desperate for work. As the movie opens, he’s stealing scrap metal to sell, and tries to ask for a job with an absolutely stunning display of memorized internet business-speak. The owner of the scrapyard turns him down cold, saying he won’t give a job to a thief. Lou happens across a freelance news crew (“nightcrawlers”) immediately after and concludes that it’ll be the job for him–which he sets out to do with not so much dedication as eerie intensity. He has no morals, no compunctions, and absolutely no boundaries, which sets him up to be king of if it bleeds it leads. He sells his disturbing and morally questionable footage to Nina, played by Renee Russo, and it escalates from there.

There’s not much question that something is seriously wrong with the amoral Lou, and Gyllenhaal disappears creepily into the role in the best way possible. But the ability of Lou to pull people into his vortex is still unnerving, as if he’s somehow finding and strengthening what is worst in them, all while being exceedingly pleasant. It’s an amazing acting job, really, and the way Nina and Lou feed off each other is particularly distasteful, which is to say the movie accomplished what it set out to do extremely well.

Nightcrawler works best as a character sketch of a manipulative man that’s probably a sociopath, and as an indictment of the manufacture of news stories. When Nina tells Lou what kinds of stories she wants–her viewers want–she emphasizes very plainly that it’s about “urban” crime creeping into the “suburbs” and ideally victims should be wealthy and white, while perpetrators should be poor and minorities. Graphic is better, and she does her best to hype up the fear of every news story she puts together. In her own way, she’s just as gross and amoral a character as Lou, motivated entirely by the self-interest of keeping her own job.

And there are still more disturbing things waiting beyond that, such as the relationship between Nina and Lou, and what happens to Lou’s hapless assistant Rick, a man who is simply desperate for a job and incredibly vulnerable because of it.

Nightcrawler is a movie where everyone is a shitty, horrible person, and they do shitty, horrible, creepy things. It’s interesting, and well-shot, and excellently acted, but you still have to be willing to roll with the fact that the character are all fucking terrible human beings. And this without even the protection of Filth‘s disturbing layer of humor and manic surrealism. It’s dark, and unavoidable. Character sketch with excellent acting, yes. But it’s definitely not for everyone.

Categories
movie

[Movie] Interstellar

I imagine a lot of people have been comparing Interstellar to 2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s not a bad comparison to consider, though Interstellar is definitely rather more action-oriented than 2001Interstellar touches on a lot of similar themes, like the vastness of space versus the fragility of human life, man’s relationship with the greater cosmos, and the spiritual and evolutionary journey of the species. Like 2001Interstellar has given us silent space, and used that silence to great effect much like Gravity did recently as well. And like 2001, sassy artificial intelligences do play a major role–and so does betrayal. (These two are not necessarily connected.)

In Interstellar, the Earth is a lost cause, torn by environmental disaster, and humanity must once again set its sights on the stars if there’s to be any hope of survival. This is made more difficult by the fact that the government of near-future America is now run by moon hoaxers. (And in a scene that alone would make me love Chris Nolan, Cooper reacts with dawning horror and then snarky anger when he’s confronted by people who want to punish his daughter for bringing books to school that talk about the moon landing.) The underground remnants of NASA have found a wormhole orbiting Saturn, generated there by some mysterious “others”, and discovered possible worlds that humans could colonize on the other side. Cooper, played by Matthew McConaughey, via his brilliant daughter Murph, receives the coordinates to the NASA base due to gravitational intervention by the same mysterious species that created the wormhole. He’s apparently been “chosen” and thus pilots the ship that is sent through the wormhole, to a system where habitable planets orbit the massive black hole Gargantua.

That’s really only the beginning of the plot. I can’t explain much more of it without getting into supermassive spoilers, and this is one where I think I’d rather avoid the spoilers. Which is shocking, for me. But so much of the first emotional impact of the film is created by the slow revelation of the story–and it is a bit slow at times. Interstellar clocks in at just shy of three hours, and there are a few pacing hiccups that feel more like snarls in otherwise smooth fabric than anything deal-breaking. The plot is pretty complex and twisted for a movie (at least one that doesn’t use unreliable narrators) and involves some timey-wiminess; it’s generally well explained, though at times a little over-explained by the characters. There could be fewer repetitions of the (to me) cringe-inducing phrase “we need to solve gravity” and the movie wouldn’t have suffered.

Interstellar is a movie about desperation, and love, and loss, and betrayal, and the commonalities of human experience that reach across insurmountable times and distances. And I think it’s very worth noting that it’s a movie about all kinds of love: the familial, and the romantic, the love for one’s people and even ideas, and the greatest love story in a movie shockingly full of love stories is that for family.

The film is absolutely gorgeous, and that cannot be emphasized enough. The visuals are just stunning, and largely done with practical effects, which is a thing we’ve come to expect from Chris Nolan. If you can find a copy of Empire‘s article about the movie, give it a read. For example, apparently a lot of the starscapes were projected on white screens outside the Ranger set during the filming, so that when the actors looked out the windows, they were actually seeing what we see. And many of the shots didn’t have to go to post-production for special effects because of that. That’s incredibly cool. That’s a reason to hope that perhaps special effects are looping back into a more practical realm, which still looks more real than even the best CGI. The visual effect on watching is just stunning. Vast, gorgeous, and awe-inspiring.

And also, worth noting, the movie contains the best simulation of a black hole ever done. One that will spawn papers for Kip Thorne, who generated the mathematical equations for it. Still not certain, however, about the wisdom of wanting to colonize planets orbiting said gorgeous black hole. (How does that even work?)

I honestly haven’t been the greatest fan of Matthew McConaughey, but he does brilliantly for this movie, going from world-weary and bitter to determined, visionary, and self-sacrificial. There wasn’t anyone in the cast I could complain about. And considering the multiple layers of untruths told in the plot, performance was absolutely key. They all stuck the landing, but Anne Hathaway was particularly good. There’s a lot of love and pain in this film, because the more vast the landscape, the more intimate the emotional framework becomes, and they all nailed it.

Special mention should be made of TARS and CASE, the rather monolith-esque modular robots. The idea behind them is very clever, but the best part is the sassy personality that particularly TARS displays. His humor setting is at 100% at the beginning and very dark; during launch he jokes to the crew, “You’ll all be slaves for my robot colony.” TARS was a highlight of an already excellent movie.

Which is not to say that the movie is without flaws. Already mentioned were the pacing hiccups and some rough parts with the plot. While the Cooper-as-the-chosen-one gets explained in a way that didn’t make me want to chew on things, there were some other moments that knocked me out of the film. One was Romilly, who is one of the scientists, saying “There’s some things that aren’t meant to be known.” Considering that the topic in question here was the inner mechanics of a black hole as opposed to, say, evil genetic experiments on humans, that made my inner scientist shriek in rage. And while the themes about love and distance were important, Amelia trying to justify her intuitive feelings fueled by love as valid or perhaps better than science was also pretty frustrating.

On a technical note, the score was Hans Zimmer good, because Hans Zimmer. But I’m not sure if it was due to me seeing the film in 35mm, or if there was something off on the sound system, but there were times when I could not hear the actors over the score. And perhaps that was intentional, and meant for dramatic effect, but man it was kind of frustrating because you could hear people speaking but not quite what they were saying.

The plot, while interesting, definitely has flaws that can be picked to ribbons the minute the movie lets go of your tear ducts and gives you a moment to breathe. Particularly if the picking is scientific in nature, it can easily go down to the bone. But this reminds me of the argument I had during the Skiffy and Fanty episode on Snowpiercer: it seems particularly unfair that movies that take chances (and there’s a lot about Interstellar that qualifies in this, from the lack of a main romance, to the scope, to the number of questions it asks) tend to get judged much more harshly than those that are just out to have a good time, so to speak. The sheer ambition and scope of the movie, the fact that it’s not trying to posit easy answers or simple concepts, is what makes it special and incredibly worth seeing. If anything, I’m forced to wonder if Interstellar would have benefited from offering fewer explanations to the questions opened by its plot and been a bit more like 2001, where it’s left up to us to draw our own meanings.

Go see this movie. Even if you don’t really like McConaughey. I still would have enjoyed it even if it had been Tom Cruise. If nothing else, it’s good to see the point made, and made beautifully, that space exploration is important, and not something that should be put off as frivolous.