Categories
steampunk writing

Now available for pre-order: Murder on the Titania!

Coming 3/15/13!At long last, my steampunk murder mystery novelette is available for pre-order from Musa Publishing! The phrase “unspeakably excited” doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel about this. The novelette will be released on April 5th! Get it while it’s hot!

Here’s a taste of what it’s about:

When theft turns to murder, retired Colonel Geoffrey Douglas knows only two things for certain. The Air Ship Titania carries 300 passengers and crew. And any one of them could be the murderer…

In the wake of global Infection and hard-fought wars to drive the disease out into the wilds, the survivors have slowly rebuilt a polite society that relies upon airships and steam engines to travel safely between the remaining Grand Duchies. In times of peace, old war heroes must find new ways to make themselves useful. But where there are ships, there are pirates, and darkness waits in the most unexpected places…

After years at war, retired Colonel Geoffrey Douglas tries to accustom himself to a more tame career as the Grand Duke’s chief of security, but he can’t seem to let his guard down. He sees danger around every corner. Worst of all, he’s often right. And when a simple mission to deliver precious cargo for the Grand Duke goes wrong, Geoff finds himself in a race against time to find a murderer before the Air Ship Titania lands and the murderer can escape.

But there are 300 passengers and crew aboard, and the murderer could be any one of them. When Geoff discovers a second murder victim, he realizes this isn’t just a fight to prevent the murderer from escaping: it’s a desperate race to stop him from killing again.

I had a lot of fun writing this and hopefully you’ll have just as much fun reading it. As you can tell, Colonel Douglas is a very serious investigator with a very serious mustache, and he’s not about to let a murderer get away with a crime under his watch. Technically if you’ve read The Jade Tiger you’ll have one over on poor Geoff for most of the story, so enjoy your advantage!

Here’s an excerpt so you can get a feel for my writing:

Geoff sat up with a gasp, for a moment disoriented in the darkness, recognizing neither the bed nor the thin strip of light leaking in under the door. He heard only snapping tree branches, the crack of distant guns, shouts, and screams as the Infected slammed into his company’s defensive lines. No, he realized, those sounds were in his mind, mixed with someone pounding frantically at his door, rescuing him from a thoroughly unpleasant dream. He took three deep breaths to calm himself, then felt along the wall to find the lamp and turn the power back up.

“A moment,” he shouted. “A moment if you please. I’m awake. Let me make myself decent.” He slipped from bed and quickly dressed. His shirt was rumpled, collar and cuffs undone, and his tie nowhere to be found, but he deemed it good enough for the ungodly hour.

There was a young officer other side of the door, face pale, ginger hair disheveled. His uniform had a lieutenant’s stripes on the shoulder.

“What is so important that it couldn’t wait for a decent hour?” Geoff demanded.

“Something awful’s happened, sir. Captain told me to fetch you quick as I could—”

“Is it my luggage?”

The lieutenant shook his head, swallowing hard. “No, sir, it isn’t. It’s much worse.”

Geoff nodded, then dug his lorgnette from his traveling case. The little device was rather battered and showing its age, but still serviceable. “Then you’d best show me the way, Lieutenant…?”

“Collins, sir.”

Geoff followed Lieutenant Collins along several hallways and down two flights of stairs. Soon they were at the top of another set of stairs, these ones plain metal that led down to the crew quarters.

There was a small crowd gathered at the bottom of the stairs, most of the people dressed in the uniforms of the crew or servants. More to Geoff’s interest, there was a body sprawled untidily across the deck plates, a pool of dark red spread out in a halo from the back of its head. The head itself was turned at an unnatural angle, far back and to the side.

It took only a moment for his sleep-muzzled mind to place who it was at the bottom of the stairs: Lord Caraway. It made little sense for the man to be in this area of the ship, but the truth was inescapable: he was very much there, and very much dead.

And now I’ll get back to work on writing the third novella for the series – because that’s right, there will be at least four more after this one!

Categories
Uncategorized

Wishing I was there.

This has been an exciting few days for me. First of all, this happened (I’ll post more about that on Monday but omg bweeeeeee). And then I’ve been keeping an eye on the amazing British Film Documentary ladies, who are currently in London and having fabulous adventures. The project is something I’m incredibly enthused about I’ve thrown in some financial support already and will be doing so more once I have (you know) that real job thing.

But even more, damnit I just wish I was in London. I love that city to bits every time I get to bounce through, and I never get to stay long enough. (For the record, you also have no idea how much I adore Brighton.) More than that, the crew there is awesome, creative, and incredibly funny. I can’t wait to see the work they’ve done, that’s for certain. It’s all ridiculously exciting.

The one mean twist of the internet – you get to talk to incredible people and then they’re just too far away to do something mundane like share a pint. You can only dance in place like a toddler that’s eaten half a package of oreos and wait to see how things develop. It’s a bizzare feeling of helpless excitement.

Or at least that’s what you do if you’re me.

Maybe next year, London. Maybe next year.

Categories
fitness for fat nerds

Something I haven’t done for 15 years.

Some of you already know this story, I’m sure. In high school, the one and only sport I could do (being a chubby nerd who couldn’t even run a quarter mile) was weightlifting. And I was actually good at it, which was the crazy part. I’m basically built like a draft horse, so for me lower body strength is where it’s at. Squat was my big event.

About fifteen years ago was the last weightlifting meet that I did, for State. In the weight room I’d done squats close to 300 lbs before, so that’s where I was headed, just working my way up to it. On my second squat  I was well over my body weight (I want to say somewhere in the neighborhood of 250 but you know how memory is) and I dropped under the bar. I think my back gave out, because I’ve always had a problem squatting low without starting to bend over. So I hit the mat with both knees and the bar still on my back and then my right hip went out.

So yeah. That was basically when I stopped doing squats. Because it scared the shit out of me that badly. And to this day, that’s one of the root causes of the problems I’ve had with my knees.

Well, hell with that. I’m tired of being scared of it. It’s not like the bar is going to jump off the rack and attack me. Or that’s what I told myself when I decided today, I was going to do it. Hack squats with a machine just aren’t as good. And the rack at the Fitness 19 has these nice things you can hang on it so if you do drop the bar, it’ll get caught before it utterly destroys you.

But I’m not going to claim I wasn’t kind of scared, going in. I did a couple practice squats with just the bar, to make sure everything was okay and see how low I felt safe going. Then I threw a pair of 45s on the bar and gave it a shot.

Damn, I forgot how much I hate having that stupid bar sitting across my shoulders. Ugh.

But I did it! And my third set I upped the weight to 155 and was still all right. I can’t go competition low any more, but that’s fine. I’m not competing with anyone but myself these days. I don’t have to be scared of the stupid bar any more. I’m taking my event back.

It feels good. (She says, gleefully thinking about just how sore her quads are going to be tomorrow.) You didn’t beat me, fear. It’s fifteen years later, and I’m going to win this thing.

 

Categories
Uncategorized writing

I’m number one! (in the Strange Horizons Readers’ Poll!!!)

762881Strange Horizons published the results of their Reader’s Poll this morning and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Comes the Huntsman is first place for short story! Thank you everyone who voted for me! Thank you so much!

Comes the Huntsman is a story that’s still incredibly special to me (and not incidentally the story I wrote in 2012 for Tom Hiddleston’s birthday – my ‘Hiddlestory’ if you will). I donated the $105 payment I received for it to UNICEF.

So today, in celebration of taking first place, here’s what I did:

new donation

Thank you to everyone who read and everyone who voted! I’ll try to keep making good art!

Categories
Uncategorized

The fictional creepy old white guy should fire his slogan writer.

So apparently the high-quality commentary you’ve come to expect from this blog has been replaced by me just posting trailers for terrible films.

No really. That’s hilarious. The dystopian straw man political party have the worst slogan I have encountered. “When WE provide for every need, YOU are fully developed.” It does not exactly roll off the tongue. The creepy old white guy that heads up the fake political party should really fire his slogan writer.

Adorably overwrought synthesized score? Check.

Oblique and inappropriate references to the Hunger Games? Check.

Symbol that could easily be mistaken for advertisement for the Olympics? Check.

Ronald Reagan quote? Check. Oh how very check.

This does win for most sinister use of QR codes, however. So there’s that.

I’d like to think that the “we just become passive people waiting in lines” is a witty jab at the British and their professional-level queuing skills, but I honestly cannot look at this and imagine its makers possessed the necessary cultural awareness for that level of irony.

This is supposedly the trailer for a longer film. I want to see it. I want to liveblog it. Yea though it has the potential to cause facepalm-induced brain damage, I am drawn to bad movies like a moth to the flame. (And then I sit down and watch them and keeping thinking, “What the fuck is wrong with me.” Seriously guys I need help.)

Categories
Uncategorized

This? Also begging to be liveblogged.


 

DARK ENERGY, PEOPLE.

However, I elect someone who isn’t me to liveblog it. Someone who has cable. Someone who is a physicist.

Because it’s funny when physicists cry.

Categories
liveblog Uncategorized

Liveblog: Ring of Fire, Part 2

All right, I’m coming back for more. Same rules as usual, I’ll be updating the liveblog every five minutes or so. Unfortunately if you want to play at home, I can’t help you at the moment. I’m watching part two on the DVR.

I know you’re terribly sad to be missing this.

WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR INTREPID ACTORS, a volcano had just erupted because compressed magma (argh what even) and oil look EXACTLY THE SAME to their bullshit made-up technology. And now the entire world might explode because as we know, all volcanoes are actually connected, which is why every time a volcano erupts, every other one in the world does as well. (Wait, that’s not how it works?)

Oh, and the Yellowstone caldera is apparently now part of the Ring of Fire, which is news to everyone except for Dr. Cooper, the hot geologist with an aneurysm that is bad enough to be a dramatic plot device but apparently not bad enough to warrant emergency surgery.

Liveblog commencing in 10… 9… 8….

Categories
geology liveblog tv

Liveblog: Ring of Fire, Part 1

All right, I’m going to do it. Apparently it’s THE COUNTDOWN TO MELTDOWN. Or something.

Same rules as usual – I will update the liveblog every five minutes or so. If you’re reading this on LJ or Dreamwidth you’ll need to come to the blog at katsudon.net to see the updates most likely, though I think edits are now supposed to push through so we’ll see.

If you’d like to play at home, this likely stinker of a miniseries is on Reelz. Yes, with a Z.

Liveblog commencing in 10… 9… 8…

Categories
liveblog

Urge to liveblog… rising…

I mean. Look at it. Just look at it.

Gratuitous Mt. St. Helens reference? Check.

Ridiculous implication that somehow all volcanoes are connected and therefore THEY WILL ALL BLOW UP AT ONCE EHRMERGAHD? Check.

Gratuitous Yellowstone reference sure to guarantee a fresh crop of concerned people who will ask me when Yellowstone is going to blow up and kill us all? Check (Answer, by the way: “Soon” in geology speak. Which means chances are we’ll probably have killed our own species off before Yellowstone gets around to erupting.)

But best of all – THE ERUPTION OF A BRAZILLION VOLCANOES BLAMED ON OIL WELLS? CHECK BABY. CHECK CHECK CHECK.

Just. Wow.

Bonus for what appears to be a bomb being dropped into a magma chamber. Because everyone knows that the way you keep a composite volcano from exploding is… uh… blowing it up first.

Because science.

Well, there’s my incentive to buckle down and get lots of work done in the morning. Part 1 of this hot (har har) mess is repeating at 4 pm my time tomorrow, followed by part 2. I don’t know if I have the strength.

Categories
Uncategorized writing writing advice

How much are you worth?

The question is more literally “How much is your writing worth?” but since art is in effect a piece of you that you have offered for the consumption of others, I think it’s a fair question.

In the last day, there’s been a minor blow-up about Random House’s new Hydra imprint. Simply put, the contract is horrifically awful. Cory Doctorow pointed out you’d be better off self-publishing through a site like Lulu.com. Scalzi said the contract would make any good agent’s head explode, and later dissected a contract from the sister imprint Alibi. Random House has now written the SFWA a letter about this matter, and the SFWA has responded quite negatively. If you are someone who hopes to some day publish a novel, you should read these posts. You need to educate yourself about this, because there are people out there (apparently including in big publishing houses who should know better) who want to exploit your work.

And if you’re a reader of fiction, you should pay attention to. Practices that hurt writers will ultimately hurt readers, in a myriad of ways. We depend on each other.

What really pisses me off about this entire thing is that it blatantly targets new, struggling writers. Because we’re desperate, and we may not understand how precious our rights are, and which rights we should expect to retain as a matter of course. As a new, struggling writer, I know how tempting it can be to grab at any offer that will get your book in print somehow, because then you get to feel like a real writer. Trying to get published sucks. It involves constant rejection. It involves waiting for immense periods of time just so someone can tell you no over and over again. It’s fucking depressing. And I know that the opportunity to escape that cycle of rejection can feel like someone’s thrown you a rope when you’re drowning.

Only sometimes, the rope is the tail of a poisonous snake. Or a hydra. (See what I did there?)

You ultimately have to ask yourself what is my work worth? Ask yourself what am I worth?

I can tell you right now, your work is worth more than giving up all of your rights and paying for the privilege of seeing your name on the cover of an ebook. You and your work are worth enough that you should not be paying production costs. You and your work are worth enough that you should not have every single right stripped from you for the full term of copyright. You’re worth way more than that. And your friends who are writers are worth more than that too. So tell them to avoid these imprints. Tell them it’s a bad deal. Tell them that in publishing, money should never come from the author, and we have to fight to keep it that way.

You are worth putting up with the rejection until you get a good yes. I know how it is, man. I’d do just about anything to get one of my novels in print. But I wouldn’t do this, because my work is mine, it’s me, and I’m a financial gravity well toward which money flows.

 

See also: